He moved closer. "Baby, nothing about it was legal."
I wasn't quite sure how I felt about that. Again, I looked to the money. "How much is this? Do you know?"
"The exact amount? Nah. Never counted."
"Why not?"
"Youwanna count it?" he said. "Be my guest."
Ididwant to count it, but mostly out of curiosity. "But why did you say it's ours?"
"Because I want you to know, I wasn't lying. I can cover us." He flicked his head toward the cash. "And I can make more if we need it."
From fighting?No. I definitely didn't want that. And I knew in my heart that he didn't want that either.
"But youwon'tneed it," I reminded him, "because you'll have the endowment money."
"No," he said."You'llhave the endowment money. Remember?"
"But that's not what we agreed on. I can't take your money."
"You're not taking it," he said. "We're sharing it. Like you're sharing this place."
Instantly, that reminded me of my aunt's admonishment. Pushing aside the money issue, I said, "Can I ask you something? You're not insulted, are you?"
"About what?"
I glanced around. "That you're livinghere. I mean, instead of the main house?"
Joel stiffened. "Why do you ask?"
Something about his stance made me wonder. Maybe hewasinsulted. "So youwouldrather live in the main house?"
Probably, it was a stupid question. Of course he would. Maybe the way he saw it, I was shuffling him off to the guest house because I didn't trust him or something. Or maybe he thought I was a snob. My stomach tightened. Or selfish, like I didn't want to share my own living space.
Just great.I was a paranoid, selfish snob. Maybe my aunt was right. Maybe Ihadinsulted him.
But in front of me, Joel was shaking his head. "No. I wouldn’t."
So hewouldn’twant to live in the main house? That was a relief. Or, at least, it should've been. But for some reason, I felt compelled to ask, "Why not?"
"Does it matter?"
His evasiveness made me pause. "No. Not really." I tried to keep my tone casual. "I guess it makes sense, like if you want guests or something."
He gave me a look. "What kind of guests?"
Feeling suddenly unsure, I summoned up a smile. "You know what? Forget I asked." I forced a laugh. "Actually, that's a big relief. I mean, that you're not insulted or anything. My aunt – she wasreallyworried about it."
Even as I talked, a funny thought occurred to me. Now,Iwas the one who was worried. How stupid was that?
Gently, Joel took the case from my hands and set it on a nearby stack of boxes. And then, he pulled me into his arms. He brushed his lips against my hair and said, "You want the reason?"
I couldn’t resist. I nodded against him.
"I'm not gonna shack up with you."
I froze. His embrace was sweet, but his words were sour.
