I froze. I was, in fact, naked. But there was no way on Earth that I was going to admit it. "Oh shut up," I said. "Just answer the question."
Still smiling, he said, "You are. Aren't you? Don't lie. I can hear the splashing."
Even more self-conscious now, I held myself very still. "Yeah? Well, maybe I'm doing dishes. You ever think of that?"
"Nah. I don't hear any dishes. Just you." He gave a low chuckle. "Is there room for two?"
"Yeah," I snapped, "and Jake's gonna be here any minute."
"Nope. Sorry. He's still downstairs."
I felt my eyebrows furrow. How did Rango know that? And then it hit me. Bianca, trouble-maker that she was, had to be feeding him information. Of course.
Suddenly, it all made sense. If I hooked up with Rango, Jake would finally be free, and Bianca would move in for the kill.
My jaw clenched. The kill – that was sounding like a fine idea. Envisioning Bianca's neck, I squeezed my phone a little tighter. Too tight, as it turned out. It popped out of my grip and landed with a sickening splash in the soapy water.
"Son-of-a-bitch!" I hollered, diving down for the thing. A split-second later, I plucked it out of the water and tossed it onto the nearby bath towel. I scrambled out of the tub and began frantically drying the phone off.
As I fumbled around, I could hear Rango, on the other end, laughing his ass off.
The sound of him should've been a relief, because it meant that the phone was still working. But I was too far gone to be relieved about anything. Letting my anger get the best of me, I responded with a string of profanity that would've made a sailor blush.
Rango was still laughing, even louder now. "You dropped it, didn't you? Oh man, I wish I were there. I bet you're cute as hell."
My heart was pounding, and my mouth was tight. I wasn't cute. I was homicidal.
"Hey, I know," Rango continued. "Send me a picture, okay? C'mon. Don't even think about it. Just do it."
I was still desperately drying off the phone, not that it probably needed it. I saw no more signs of water – at least not on the outside. Still, I gave the phone a few more swipes with the towel and held it up for a closer inspection.
Surprisingly, it looked okay. And it was still working. So that was good, right?
"I'll tell ya what," Rango was saying. "Come on over. I'll give you a new phone. A nice one, too." He gave another laugh. "You won't believe this, but I've got like a dozen right here. Come on by. You can take your pick."
I could almost see it, Rango sitting there, surrounded by a slew of new phones. He owned a few small businesses, so it actually made sense. For all I knew, he'd acquired a cell phone outlet as part of what he used to call his "diversification plans."
I held up my middle finger.Diversify this, Jackass.
Out loud, I told him, "Screw your phones. And while you're at it, screwyoutoo, Rango."
"Hey," he said, putting some real sleaze into it, "sounds good to me. I'll be waiting."
With a sound of disgust, I ended the call. And then, not wanting to take any chances, I pulled up the display and blocked this latest phone number, along with the first one while I was at it.
Frowning, I imagined Rango sitting somewhere, surround by a dozen phones. "Only ten more to go," I muttered.
Standing there, naked and dripping all over Jake's fancy tile floor, I looked longingly at the bathtub. Suddenly, it felt sullied by the whole Rango thing, and I was almost tempted to simply get dressed and be done with it. But I still had conditioner in my hair and needed to rinse it off, unless I wanted to embrace the greaser look, which I definitely didn't.
So, reluctantly, I crawled back into the tub and dipped my head backward, under the bath water. It had barely reached my forehead when I heard, once again, the dreaded sound of my cell phone ringing.
Screw it. It could ring all it wanted. I wasn't answering. Or at least, that was the plan, until I recalled that I still hadn't heard from my boss.
With a sigh, I reached for my phone. This time, I held it outside the tub as I checked the display. Once again, the number was unfamiliar.
Reluctantly, I answered with a wary, "Hello?"
"Hey, Babe."
