Chapter 14
When the elevator reached the lobby, I strode out, only to feel my steps falter as reality slammed into me. Where the hell was I going? And how would I get there?
I glanced toward the rear of the lobby, where a pair of wide steel doors led to the parking garage. I'd walked through those same doors less than hour earlier, after driving here using one of Jake's cars.
I heard myself sigh. I didn't have a car of my own, thanks to my slime-ball of an ex-boyfriend and my own stubbornness in refusing to let Jake buy me a replacement car. So in the meantime, I'd been borrowing one of Jake's vehicles – a sleek luxury sedan that was well beyond my price range.
Funny, the car was almost starting to feel like my own. But it wasn't, which made me feel all the more ridiculous now.
I mean, I couldn't really drive off in one of Jake's cars, when the whole point of walking out of Jake's office was to assert some sort of independence.
And now, here I was, stranded and feeling like an idiot.
Talk about pathetic.
I stepped away from the elevators and looked around. The building's lobby was ornate, with high ceilings and clusters of expensive furniture, artfully arranged into semi-private seating areas. The first time I'd been here, just a few weeks earlier, I'd been blown away by how posh it was.
But for the past couple of weeks, I'd walked through this same lobby every day, so frequently, in fact, that I almost took its opulence for granted.
My shoulders slumped. These days, I was taking a lot of things for granted. I no longer paid rent. I no longer paid utility bills. I barely paid for food.
Sure, I had no car. But I also had no car payment and a nearly new vehicle to drive whenever I wanted.
There was a time, not too long ago, when I would've gladly wallowed in all these free luxuries, not caring that they might evaporate tomorrow.
Who knows? Maybe they were already gone, along with Jake, thanks to our recent fight.
At the thought, I blinked hard, hoping to stem the tide of unshed tears. The luxuries, I could do without. But Jake? Losing him? The thought was almost too painful to bear. And yet, I knew that if I slunk back upstairs now, I'd look like just another girl who didn't have the self-respect to challenge him on anything.
I was mulling all of this over, when the sound of a male voice, just a few feet away, made me jump almost out of my skin. "Miss? Is everything alright?"
I turned and saw Pete, the doorman, eyeing me with obvious concern.
I gave him what I hoped was a normal smile. "Um, yeah. Everything's fine. Thanks." I glanced toward the glass double-doors that led to the street outside. "I'm just, uh, going for a walk. That's all."
He frowned. "Alone?"
Oh for Pete's sake. Literally.
Sure, I realized that Detroit wasn't known for being the safest city on the planet, but this particular area was really nice. And besides, it was only five o'clock, hours yet from nightfall. My last apartment was in a neighborhood ten times worse than this, and that never stopped me going where I wanted, well, not during the daylight hours, anyway.
I gave Pete a pathetic wave and began striding toward the doors. "It'll be fine."
He hustled forward to pull open the nearest door. But even as he held it wide, he said, "It looks like rain. You sure don't want to drive instead?" He glanced out toward the city street. "Or, I could call you a cab?"
I didn't feel like debating it. I felt like crying. But breaking down in front of anyone, especially someone who'd surely tell Jake, wasn't what I had in mind, so I tried for a friendly laugh. "It wouldn’t be much of a walk if I were in a car." Trying to soften the words, I added, "But thanks, seriously."
Pete was still frowning when I walked through the open door and onto the sidewalk. The air was humid, and I could smell the promise of a summer storm. I looked up to the sky. Sure enough, the clouds were still dark, just like my mood.
But it wasn't raining yet, and there was no guarantee that it would. But Icouldguarantee that if I stood around here another moment, I'd probably lose it right here, in front of Jake's building.
So on auto-pilot, I started walking, hoping against hope that the activity would somehow clear my mind.
After a few blocks, I wasn't so sure. With my thoughts in a jumble, I passed high stone buildings with upscale awnings, along with other buildings that weren't so nice. Some showed signs of recent renovations, while others showed only lingering decay, with crumbling bricks and empty spaces where windows must've been, back in the city's glory days.
But there were plenty of people out walking, business-people mostly, probably headed to their cars. It was, after all, quitting time on a Friday afternoon.
Trudging along the city sidewalk, I let myself get lost in my thoughts – of Jake, of my uncertain future, and of every stupid thing I'd done to get to this point.
