Anthony picked up the story. "So we come along and say, 'Oh hey, what's wrong?' And she starts blubbering that her van was stolen, and we're like, 'Oh, no way. What does it look like?'"
Steve broke in by saying, "So she gives us the description, and we're all like, 'Oh wait, didn't we see that van at the sex shop?'"
I tried not to laugh. "You didn't."
"Sure we did," Steve said. "And she gets all mad, like—" Steve did a poor imitation of a woman's voice. "—How dare you suggest such a thing? What kind of woman do you think I am?"
Steve flashed me a grin. "Which of course, we don't answer, because we think she's a freaking goblin. No point in telling herthat, right?"
I paused. "Uh, right?"
"Exactly," Anthony said, "So we're all like, 'Hey, don't be embarrassed. We shop there too.'"
I just had to ask. "Did that make her feel better?"
"Hell no," Steve said. "'She huffs her goblin-ass over there, looking to prove us wrong. But sure enough, there's her van, in a prime spot, too. And the van's fine, exactly like she left it."
Anthony snickered. "Well, notexactlyhow she left it." He turned to me and said, "We tossed that porno onto her passenger's seat."
I stared at them. "You're kidding."
Anthony toasted me with his beer. "Nope."
In spite of myself, I had to know. "Did her students see it? The movie, I mean?"
"Eh, hard to say," Anthony said. "She took off pretty fast." He shrugged. "So, there you have it."
I was still staring. "Why would you guys do such a thing?"
"Oh, cut the crap," Steve said. "You know why."
I felt my lips twitch at the corners. "Because she was mean to me?"
"Hell yeah," Steve said. "I was kind of wishing you'd kick her ass."
"I was tempted," I admitted.
"Next time," he said, "don't be tempted. Just go with it. That's what I'd do."
"Or," Anthony chimed in, "do the food fight thing, like, hit her with a pork chop. That's whatI'ddo."
I rolled my eyes. "I'll think about it."
We were interrupted by the sound of a muffled bump against the penthouse doors. "Pizza's here," I said, heading toward the condo entrance.
But when I opened the door a moment later, I didn't see any pizza. All I saw was Jake.
