“And then what?”
She swallowed. If she was honest, she was afraid of the answer to that question herself. “I…I don’t know. We’ll see.”
“No,” he repeated harshly. “I don’t want to stop seeing you. I tried and it sucked.”
“Please, Jack,” she whispered pleadingly. “Go.”
“Penny, I…”
“West, next timeI’llask you to go,” Gareth interrupted sharply. “And I won’t be nearly as kind as Penny.”
Jack pressed his lips together and looked at Penny, then her brother, and then back again. Then, he closed his eyes and shook his head before gently placing a hand on her cheek. “Penny, I don’t want to wait. I don’t want a break. I’ve wasted time all my life. Reconciling with my family, telling my father how I feel...I don’t want to wait again and then realize it’s too late. If you don’t want to see me anymore, that’s okay, but I don’t want to wait until the press can handle it. I don’t want to be with you maybe or someday. I want itnow. If you need space, take it. But take it forever. Don’t string me along. I don’t think I could handle it.”
And then he leaned over and kissed her, gently and tenderly. Then he pulled away, walked past Gareth, and quietly exited through the apartment door.
With her mouth gaping, Penny stared after him. It was worse than if he had closed it with a bang. Worse than if he had screamed. The click in the lock sounded so unbelievably final—just like his words.
Her heart contracted painfully, and her breathing became heavy, as if her lungs were refusing to work normally. Jack wanted her completely…or not at all. And she couldn’t even blame him.Somedaywasn’t enough.Somedaywould never beenough for him ever again. He’d had too many of them in his life already.
However, she couldn’t give himnow. Not likethis.
“Shit,” she whispered and put her fingers to her lips, trying to preserve the feeling of his on hers, but it had fled out the door with him.
“Oh no.” Gareth looked at her in pain. Hesitantly, he put an arm around her shoulder. “You’re in love with him. This just keeps getting worse and worse.”
She swallowed and nodded because he was absolutely right. And now she couldn’t stop the tears. They flowed down her cheeks and dripped onto the floor. She hurt so damn bad. And the only person who could have made it better had just walked out the door, probably disappearing from her life.
“Don’t cry, Penny,” Gareth whispered. He pulled her close and laid her head on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay…”
“No, it won’t!” she contradicted and hiccupped. “Because I can’t have everything I want! If I’m with Jack, no one will take me seriously. Mom and Dad will decide right away that I can’t possibly lead the team. That they can’t risk bigger scandals… God.” She sniffed and wiped her tears on Gareth’s shirt, who, to her surprise, didn’t change his expression. “Actually, this scandal is already too big, isn’t it? I should just give up and resign. Then maybe I could have Jack. Anyway, I’m just kidding myself, aren’t I? Mom and Dad will choose you, no matter what. I never really stood a chance at getting the team. What’s the point?”
Her words sounded deliberately light, her body, though, was flooded with such deep disappointment that she felt like she couldn’t lift her legs. It was so cosmically unfair that she couldn’t have her dream jobandher dream man!
"What’s the point?” Gareth echoed dryly and let her go. “Wow. And I thought you had truly changed. That you wouldn’t run away at the first sign of trouble. But I guess I was wrong.”
She looked at him, perplexed. If this was an attempt to comfort her, it was a terrible one. “Stop being mean!”
“Penny,” he said matter-of-factly, “I’m not mean.” He frowned. “Well, yes, in general.” He waved his hand dismissively. “But not right now. Right now, I’m here for you.”
“How?” she asked incredulously.
“By not telling you what you want to hear but what you need to hear. You know… I’ve never believed you were crazy. Even when you were on stage with the dead rooster in your arms. You know that, right?”
She blinked and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. “Well, I…I don’t know. I guess not.”
“Well, now you know,” he replied tersely. “You’re brilliant when it comes to statistics. And God, I admired you back then for your courage to fight for everything you believed in! Even when it meant incurring Mom’s anger. I took the easier route. I tried to impress them and show everyone that I was better than them. You showed everyone thattheyshould be better and that they should try to impressyou. That doesn’t make you crazy, it makes you honest and passionate…and if everyone was as committed to the rainforest or animal rights or fighting poverty as you are, those problems would probably have been solved by now. But you have one big weakness: You give up too quickly.”
Her eyes widened as she shook her head. “That’s not true!”
“Yes, it is,” he stated matter-of-factly. “When things get tough, you flee or pull the ripcord.”
“No, I…” But she stopped. She had said it herself once. She’d admitted it to the one man she’d never been ashamed of being honest with:I’m bad at finishing things.
She swallowed. “Okay. Sometimes.”
“Exactly,” Gareth confirmed, content. “So, do you honestly think you should be punished for falling in love with Jack West?”
“Well, no, but…”
