He felt as if he had run a marathon for the last few weeks and had finally reached his goal. He was only now allowed to take a deep breath and drink fresh water. And he knew that this was right, just as he knew the last few weeks had been wrong. He should have crossed the finish line with Penny much sooner...
Chapter Twenty
Penny didn’t care why it had taken them so long to cross the finish line — the only thing that mattered was that they had arrived. She knew Jack had said they were merely dating. But, damn, if they hadn’t jumped straight into a relationship, she didn’t know what else it was.
They never talked about it explicitly, but nothing about the coming weeks felt relaxed or without expectations. And it was fucking amazing. It was like they had gone from zero to a hundred in three seconds. They had three dates in the first week, which was quite an accomplishment, considering the Hawks also had three games and twice as many practices. Plus, if eating ice cream in bed counted as a date, it had been four. Since they couldn’t be seen by others, they usually had picnics on Jack’s rooftop deck or spent a few hours on the beach in San Diego, which was far enough from LA to go mostly unrecognized. She stayed up too late. She ate too much junk food. She worked ten hours a day. Penny was exhausted, but also happier than she had ever been. It felt like they had both been waiting for that morning after they arrived in LA to give it their all. And they did.
It turned out it was less lonely when you were complicated together. She no longer slept alone. Either she was in Jack’s bedor Jack was in hers, or they snuck into each other’s hotel rooms and ignored every call and every knock.
Many of Jack’s teammates suspected he was either depressed or hyper-focused on his game – that was why he locked himself in his room so often while the others went to strip clubs or all-you-can-eat buffets (ideally both). Only Dax knew that neither was the case. Jack had insisted on telling him they were dating simply because he didn’t want to keep another secret from someone important to him. And considering Jack didn’t have sex during the season, they hada hell of a lotof sex. Together, he and Penny had made the nameSaintobsolete, but sinceDevilwas already taken by his brother, Saint would probably stick to him.
Penny couldn’t remember the last time she had been so relaxed. It might have been when she smoked a peace pipe in the Argentinian jungle and saw everyone as cartoon characters all day. However, this was nothing like that, because she was also truly happy.
And now she was relaxed precisely because she was happy. The Hawks players were finally accepting her. Lyle and Gareth were listening to her ideas. The Hawks were well on their way to the playoffs. And because it was incredibly easy to be with Jack. It was as if they sat at the airport bar every day, drinking whiskey together – in a figurative sense now. They did actually fly regularly, since the Hawks played one away-game series after another.
Still, she felt more comfortable in a strange hotel room with Jack than in her own apartment. That might not just be because of Jack.
“Tell me, does this hotel room seem more comfortable to you than our two apartments put together?” she asked thoughtfully, twisting the belt of the bathrobe between her fingers as she leaned back against the headboard of the bed. She inspected theroom. “I mean, they have curtains here. And a nice carpet. And the paintings aren’t quite so…cold.”
Jack chuckled softly and followed her gaze. “Well, first, your paintings are only cold because your brother has terrible taste and abstract art is crap. You would have to choose some yourself to make it warmer. And second, I have curtains! And a carpet. Pictures, too, if I think about it.”
Amused, she snorted and looked up at him as she pressed her feet against his calves. The morning sunlight fought its way past the curtains to the end of the bed.
They had deliberately missed breakfast and in two hours, Jack had to go to the strategy meeting for that day’s game in the Arizona Kings arena. However, they had time until then and their time together was precious. They only had this time if no one was paying enough attention to notice that they werebothmissing. Which, according to Dax, was slowly becoming noticeable.
“Your curtains are white. Your carpet is black. Your pictures are white or black. Your kitchen is black. Your walls are white. Your apartment looks like Cruella de Vil lives there!”
He grinned. “Hm. No, if I have to be a Disney villain, then I’d be the evil queen: beautiful and misunderstood.”
Penny let her head sink onto his shoulder with a snort. “I like how you grow humbler with each passing day in our relationship. And what I meant was that your apartment looks like…my apartment.”
“Clean?”
“No, cold.”
“Ouch.”
She laughed. “Come on, your loft is not very inviting. Your roof terrace is nice, but the rest?”
Jack shrugged. “I just don’t go there much. It’s not worth hanging up pictures or photos when I spend seventy percent of my time either on the ice or in hotel rooms.”
“That’s not true.”
“Oh yeah? Then why haven’t you hung up anything personal yet?” he asked, peering down at her with interest.
“Well, I haven’t had the time,” she said vaguely. “And I’ve never known how long I’d be in one place. Why hang up pictures if I have to repack them after a few months?”
“You…don’t know how long you’ll stay in L.A.?” Jack asked hesitantly, reaching for her hand to intertwine his fingers with hers.
“Well, if I don’t get the team, I’ll be jobless and have no money,” she murmured, tugging uncertainly on her lower lip. “Then…I don’t know what my future holds. I’ve traveled so much, my belongings fit in a backpack. I could leave the country at any moment. If I wanted to.”
“And what do you want?” he murmured.
To stay.
The word forced itself into her mind as unexpectedly as it was sudden. But it was the truth. She felt like she had finally arrived somewhere. It was nice not to have to meet new people every other day and get used to a new place. Yes, she had enjoyed life in South America, but she had never settled down. She’d never been able to put down roots. Until now, she had thought she didn’t need to. But it was nice to feel like she belonged, not like an outsider or an intruder. It was nice to eat lunch in the office with Lucy and in the evening, cheer on the players or sit on the couch with Jack. It was nice to have stability. And managing a hockey team left no time for boredom. Every day brought a new challenge, so she never dragged herself through the workday. Plus, she liked the players. She liked being allowed tobe rude, the abundance of statistics, the entire job – something else she honestly hadn’t expected.
So, yes, she would like to stay. Because of the Hawks…and because of Jack. But she couldn’t tell him that. It was too soon. She couldn’t move that fast.
