“No! Not when that’s what comes out of it. Not if your ultimate plan is to turn me down and just be friends.”
She smiled shakily and the warmth radiating from Jack’s body found its way to her heart. “I don’t think anyone has ever said the word ‘friends’ so contemptuously.”
“And I tried so hard to make the word sound natural,” he remarked dryly.
She laughed and turned the dart over in her hand. She was aware that everyone was staring at her. She knew she should finally throw. The other players were probably growing suspicious. But the words automatically flowed from her lips: “It’s weird, isn’t it? We shouldn’t feel so much. We hardly know each other.”
“I feel like I’ve known you forever. Everything that comes out of your mouth is true. And, you never ask me things about hockey, you only ask me about myself.”
She raised her eyebrows in surprise. “But you’re so much more interesting than hockey, Jack. So much more than hockey.”
The corners of his mouth hinted at a smile. “I think you’re the only one in this room who thinks that.”
“Then I guess I’m the only one who’s right,” she replied quietly…and threw the last dart. It spun and hit the double twenty. She had won. And yet her heart was heavy.
The players around her clapped and cheered, while Leon cursed. Jack just smiled at her and said quietly, “Congratulations.”
The words sounded wrong, though. She couldn’t win what she really wanted to win. Thingsweren’t‘different.’
She smiled shakily and turned to the others. “Sorry, guys,” she said, shrugging. “But I called it. And now I need some fresh air.”
Above all, she needed some distance from Jack. She needed enough distance to stop her skin from tingling, her heart from pounding, and her thoughts from conjuring up hundreds of scenarios that could become reality if she got involved with Jack.
She had a wild imagination, and everything from absolute catastrophe to sheer bliss was there. Smiling at the others, she hurried to the door.
The chill February air hit her, cooling her heated skin, and she breathed a sigh of relief. This was better. More space, more air, more peace.
The peace was deceptive, though; it gave her thoughts too much room to go crazy.
What was she supposed to do?
She liked Jack. She wanted Jack.
But she also liked her job. She wanted to prove to her family that she was good at it, that she wouldn’t cause another scandal, and that they had all been wrong about her.
“God, what should I do?” she whispered, rubbing her face.
The door behind her swung open and someone came up to her. Penny didn’t have to look up to know it was Jack. She felt him, smelled him. Her whole body longed to be near him whenever he was even 10 feet away from her. And maybe…
“We should just give up,” Jack said, breaking the silence.
She glanced up at him in surprise. “Give up what?”
“Fighting it, Penny,” he murmured, his green eyes so serious that a lump formed in her throat. “It makes me unhappy, it makes you unhappy, so we should just give up. I’m tired of trying to forget you, because I can’t. And I know it’s a stupid idea to start something with you — but God, I’m afraid it would be even more stupid not to. We’ll miss out on something if we don’t.”
She knew exactly what he was talking about because she’d been thinking the same thing for days. And yet, “It could damage both of our careers, Jack,” she whispered.
“I know. Yours more than mine. That’s why I’ll leave the decision to you. But you should know that…” He paused.
“What should I know?” she whispered and looked up at him, into the face she saw every night in her dreams.
Jack cleared his throat. “You should know that I can’t be friends with you if you say no. I…feel too much. For you.” He narrowed his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck. “More than anyone should feel for a friend. It would be masochistic to try. I want you. All of you. Not just a little. So…yes.”
Penny’s mouth went dry as she continued to stare at him. Her heart fluttered in her chest…although, actually, she was fighting a battle she had long since lost. She wanted both: the respect of her family and Jack. And who said she couldn’t have both? They just had to keep it a secret. “Okay,” she whispered.
Jack raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Okay?”
She smiled shakily. “Yeah, okay. I’ll go on a date with you.”
