“Belly, no. Of course not. That’s not what your mother’s trying to say.”
“Jeremiah and I aren’t you and Mom. We’ve known each other our whole lives.” I tried to appeal to my father. “Dad, your cousin Martha got married young, and she and Bert have been married for, like, thirty years! It can work, I know it can. Jeremiah and I will make it work just like they did. We’re going to be happy. We just want you guys to be happy for us. Please be happy for us.”
My father rubbed his beard in a way I knew well—he was going to defer to my mother the way he always did. Any second, he would look at her with a question in his eyes. It was all up to her now. Actually, it had always been up to her.
We both looked at her. My mother was the judge. That was the way it worked in our family. She closed her eyes briefly and then said, “I can’t support you in this decision, Isabel. If you go forward with this wedding, I won’t support it. I won’t be there.”
It knocked the wind out of me. Even though I was expecting it, her continued disapproval… still. Still, I thought she’d come around, at least a little.
“Mom,” I said, my voice breaking, “come on.”
Looking pained, my father said, “Belly, let’s all just think on this some more, okay? This is very sudden for us.”
I ignored him and looked only at my mother. Pleadingly, I said, “Mom? I know you don’t mean that.”
She shook her head. “I do mean it.”
“Mom, you can’t not be at my wedding. That’s crazy.” I tried to sound calm, like I wasn’t on the verge of out-and-out hysteria.
“No, what’s crazy is the idea of a teenager getting married.” She pressed her lips together. “I don’t know what to say to get through to you. How do I get through to you, Isabel?”
“You can’t,” I said.
My mother leaned forward, her eyes fixed on me. “Don’t do this.”
“It’s already decided. I’m marrying Jeremiah.” I stood up jerkily. “If you can’t be happy for me, then maybe—maybe it’s best you don’t come.”
I was already at the staircase when my dad called out, “Belly, wait.”
I stopped, and then I heard my mother say, “Let her go.”
When I was in my room, I called Jeremiah. The first thing he said was, “Do you want me to talk to her?”
“That won’t help. I’m telling you, she’s made up her mind. I know her. She won’t budge. At least not right now.”
He was silent. “Then what do you want to do?”
“I don’t know.” I started to cry.
“Do you want to postpone the wedding?”
“No!”
“Then what should we do?”
Wiping my face, I said, “I guess just move ahead with the wedding. Start planning.”
As soon as we got off the phone, I started seeing things more clearly. I just needed to separate emotion from reason. Refusing to go to the wedding was my mother’s trump card. It was the only leg she had to stand on. And she was bluffing. She had to be bluffing. No matter how upset or disappointed she was in me, Icouldn’t believe that she would miss her only daughter’s wedding. I just couldn’t.
All there was to do now was to steamroll ahead and set this wedding in motion. With or without my mother by my side, this was happening.
chaptertwenty-three
I was folding my laundry when Steven knocked on my door later that night. As usual he only gave me a couple of seconds before opening it; he never waited for me to say “come in.” He came into the room and shut the door behind him. Steven stood in my room awkwardly, leaning against the wall, his arms folded against his chest.
“What?” I said. Although I already knew.
“Sooo… are you and Jere serious about this?”
