“Well, first we have to be able to pay for this alleged cake,” I said. “I’ve been taking all the shifts I can, and I’ve only got a hundred and twenty bucks saved so far. Taylor says wedding cakes are really expensive. Maybe I should ask her mom to bake the cake instead. Mrs. Jewel’s a really good baker. We probably couldn’t ask for anything too fancy, though.”
Jeremiah had been silent on the other line. Then he finally said, “I don’t know if you should keep working at Behrs.”
“What are you talking about? We need the money.”
“Yeah, but I have the money my mom left me. We can use that for the wedding. I don’t like you having to work so hard.”
“But you’re working too!”
“I’m an intern. It’s a bullshit job. I’m not working half as hard as you are for this wedding. I sit around an office, and you’re busting your ass working double shifts at Behrs. It doesn’t feel right.”
“If this is because I’m the girl and you’re the guy…,” I began.
“That’s not it, dude. I’m just saying, why should you have to work this hard when I have money in my savings account?”
“I thought we said we were going to do this on our own.”
“I’ve been doing some Internet research, and it looks like it’s going to be a lot more expensive than we thought. Even if we go really simple, we still have to pay for food and drinks and flowers. We’re only getting married once, Belly.”
“True.”
“My mom would want to contribute. Right?”
“I guess.…” Susannah would want to do more than contribute. She’d want to be there every step of the way—dress shopping, deciding on the flowers and food, all of it. She’d want to do it up. I always pictured her thereon my wedding day, sitting next to my mom, wearing a fancy hat. It was a really nice picture.
“So let’s let her contribute. Besides, you’re gonna get really busy with wedding-planning stuff with Taylor. I’ll help as much as I can, but I still have to be at work from nine to five. When you call caterers and flower people or whatever, that’ll have to be during the day, and I won’t be able to be there.”
I was really impressed that he’d thought of all this. I liked this other side of him, thinking ahead, worrying about my health. I had just been complaining about calluses on my feet too.
“Let’s talk more about it after we tell our parents,” I told him.
“Are you still nervous?”
I’d been trying not to think about it too much. At Behrs, I focused all my energy on delivering bread baskets and refilling drinks and cutting slices of cheesecake. In a way, I was glad to be working double shifts, because it kept me out of the house and away from my mother’s watchful eye. I hadn’t worn my engagement ring since I’d been home. I only pulled it out at night, in my room.
I said, “I’m scared, but I’ll be relieved to finally have it out in the open. I hate keeping things from my mom.”
“I know,” he said.
I looked at the clock. It was twelve thirty. “We’re gonna leave early tomorrow morning, so I shouldprobably go to sleep.” I hesitated before asking, “Are you driving up with just your dad? What’s the deal with Conrad?”
“I have no clue. I haven’t talked to him. I think he’s flying in tomorrow. We’ll see if he even shows.”
I wasn’t sure if it was disappointment I was feeling or relief. Probably both. “I doubt he’ll come,” I said.
“You never know with Con. He might come, he might not.” He added, “Don’t forget to bring your ring.”
“I won’t.”
Then we said good night, and it was a long time before I could fall asleep. I think I was afraid. Afraid that he was coming and afraid that he wasn’t.
chapternineteen
I was up before the alarm; I was showered with my new dress on before Steven was even awake. I was the first one in the car.
My dress was lavender silk chiffon. It had a tight bodice and narrow straps and a floaty skirt, the kind you’d spin around in like a girl in a musical. Something Kim MacAfee might wear. I’d seen it in a store window in February, when it was still too cold to wear it without tights. Tights would ruin it. I’d used my father’s for-emergencies-only card, the one I’d never used before. The dress had stayed in my closet all this time, still covered in plastic.
When my mother saw me, she burst into a smile and said, “You look beautiful. Beck would love this dress.”
