“I am honestly at such a loss right now,” I say, and it’s me being completely open and honest. With her and with myself.
“I can imagine.” She studies me over the rim of her glass as she sips.
“What?” I ask, after a moment of her simply looking at me.
“I think you should hear her out.”
I tip my head, more than surprised by her words. “You do?”
A nod. “Just from your story, it sounds to me like you two really had something, and I’m wondering if it was something she’d never felt before, and therefore didn’t know how to handle.”
I press my lips together as I absorb her words.
“Which is not an excuse for her shitty behavior,” she adds. “Don’t get me wrong.” She looks into her glass for a moment before meeting my eyes. “Your face lit up when you talked about her and your time together. Like, I don’t know you well, but I could tell your feelings for her run deep.”
I’m glad for the dim lighting of the restaurant because I’m pretty sure I’m blushing right now.
“Seems to me like it’d be a mistake not to at least listen to what she has to say.” She lifts one shoulder in a half shrug. “Just my observations.”
And just like that, I learn two facts. One: Kya is going to end up being my friend, no matter what happens down the road. And two: Kya is right. No matter how upset, angry, or bitter I am about the way things ended and the way they’ve gone for the past four months, I’d like to hear what Marina has to say. As I sit there at the dinner table and Jessie meets my eye across it and winks, I know without a doubt that I will be reaching out to Marina. Hopefully, I’ll be able to wait and not do it tonight when I get home. Because if nothing else, she deserves to sit and wonder for a bit. But I think Kya is right. I think maybe I should at least listen to what Marina has to say.
When I pull myself out of my head and return to the dinner, Kya is grinning at me. “Just hear her out. That’s all I’m saying.”
I touch my glass to hers. “You are a truly nice person, Kya.”
She sighs wistfully. “I know. That’s always been my problem.”
We return to dinner, and the rest of the evening is a lot of fun. I feel a kinship with Kya that I didn’t expect, and while we both know we’re not going to end up dating, we will end up hanging. Jessie is disappointed but seems to accept it as we all say our goodbyes outside the restaurant.
Davis and Guy grab a cab and wave through the window as they pull away. Celia and Jeffrey decide to take the subway home and begin walking. Kya hugs me as her Uber arrives.
“You have my number,” she says quietly in my ear. “Let me know how it goes.”
“I will,” I promise. She gets into the car and I shut the door after her and watch as she pulls away.
“No go, huh?” Jessie stands next to me and bumps me with her hip.
“Oh, she was wonderful,” I say. “Truly a great person.”
“But you’re still in Italy.” There’s no sadness or accusation in her voice. Only fact—and possibly a trace of understanding?
“I am,” I say with a nod, and for the first time in four months, I feel like I can see the path ahead of me. “But it’s okay.”
“It is?”
“Yeah. It is.” I hail a cab, then turn to hug Jessie. “Thank you for tonight. I had a great time.” I jerk a thumb at my cab. “Wanna share?”
Jessie squeezes my hand. “Nah. I’m going the other way.” She holds my gaze for a beat, then taps her finger on my chest over my heart. “Take care of this first, okay? It’s important to me.”
I hug her again, suddenly filled with gratitude for her friendship. “I will. Promise.”
I climb into the cab. Jessie shuts the door and steps back with a wave. I blow out a breath and somehow feel…I don’t know how to describe it accurately. Easier? Lighter? Relieved? Determined? All of those things?
Yeah. Maybe all.
I watch the city go by as we drive…this city I love so much. A few of the longer Broadway shows are just letting out and the atmosphere is jovial, as it so often is here in this part of town. And in that moment, I think about taking Marina to her first Broadway show, what she’d think. Would she love it? Would she be bored? I feel like these are things I suddenly have to know. Have to.
But I also want to wait.
