“Okay.” And with one nod of her head, Kitty was off.
Ellis sat there in the silence of the closed diner for long moments after Kitty left, her head a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings and emotions.
You deserve to be happy.
She hadn’t been in therapy since they’d moved to Northwood. She hadn’t taken the time to find a local therapist, if she was being honest. But that line about deserving happiness was one her last therapist had touched on with her and something she had lots of trouble swallowing, given how badly she felt like she’d failed her sister.
And now, in addition to that little gem of self-recrimination, she had the very sharp feeling of being torn. Torn between running as far and as fast away from Cherry Davis and her toxic online life as she could, and staying put, trying, talking, working. Because she could bitch about and complain over and protest against Cherry’s influencer dreams, but number one, they were Cherry’s dreams and Ellis had no right to quash them, and two, she had feelings for her. Deeper feelings than she’d had in a long, long time. Years. Deeper feelings than even she cared to admit. That was probably why the discovery of Cherry’s online life was such a blow.
She picked up her phone. She suddenly wanted to check out more of Cherry on Top. She hadn’t looked in quite a while, so maybe it was time. Maybe she needed to watch more and try her best to open her mind. At least a little. A touch.
“Maybe, like, just a crack,” she said quietly to the empty office. She navigated to Cherry’s TikTok and saw there were a couple new videos. She hit one, and the screen filled with Cherry’s beautiful face, and Ellis felt everything in her soften a bit at the sight. Dammit. She was clearly in her bathroom with her phone propped up or on a tripod or something because both her hands were free. She put a headband on and pushed it back so her gorgeous red waves were all off her face.
“Hi, loves, Cherry here. It’s Saturday evening and let me tell you, it’s been a hell of a week for me. I’ve learned some things. I’ve discovered some things. I’ve realized some things. I thought I’d share them with you in snippets because I’ve decided I’m gonna veer a bit onto a new path here.”
At this point, Cherry pulled out what looked like a wipe of somekind and began moving it over her face, taking off her makeup. Ellis blinked in surprise.
“No more filters, first of all. I’m not sure why we’ve become a country—a world—that thinks the only thing that makes a person beautiful is perfection. I am not perfect. Far from it. See this?” She poked a finger at a now-visible blemish on her cheek. “That was a zit that I picked at last week. What the hell, Universe? I’m thirty-two years old. Can’t I be done with zits now?” And then she smiled that smile, and the screen practically lit up as she continued to remove her makeup.
“A lot of you sawThe 11th Commandment. I know you did, ’cause I got lots of comments, and I’m gonna set the record straight in another post, so stay tuned, okay?”
Ellis grinned because the subtlety of the marketing there was kind of brilliant.You’re watching this video, and I’m doing something I’ve never done before, but I don’t want you to go anywhere, so I’ll tease a future video just to keep you on the hook.She had to give Cherry kudos. She knew how to keep her viewers wanting more.
“But in the meantime, we’re gonna do a bit of shift here.” She finished removing all her makeup, then looked right at the camera for a beat or two. “This is me. This is it. This is how I look without makeup or filters or special lighting. Just me. In my bathroom.” A shrug. Then, she held up a finger and gave a crooked smile. “Now, does that mean I’m going to stop wearing makeup? Please.” She gave a cute little snort. “But I’m no longer using any filters. Hashtag #nofilters is taking on a new meaning over here at Cherry on Top.” Her expression grew serious, enough that it made Ellis lean slightly closer to the phone in her hand. “We’re going for real. Okay? Real talk. Real life. Because that’s what’s important. That’s who we are. We are allreal people.” She let that sit for a beat, then let that beautiful smile loose again. “Until tomorrow, loves. Peace.” And she held up two fingers and tipped her head to the side.
Ellis hit pause.
Real talk. Real life.
Well. Wasn’t this interesting?
* * *
“Hey.”
Shea stood in the doorway of Cherry’s room a couple days later, her shoulder against the doorjamb, arms folded across her chest, and the sight of her best friend always made her world feel a bit less crazy.
“Hi,” Cherry said, sitting on her bed. She toed off her shoes and sighed with relief. “How was your day?”
“Busy. But good. Yours?”
“Same. Well, except for the good part. Amanda is gonna send me over the edge soon, I swear to freaking God. She’s such a micromanager. Seriously, just leave me the hell alone, and let me do my fucking job.” She fell back dramatically onto the bed with a groan.
“Feel better?” Shea laughed softly and joined her, and they lay there, side by side, letting the workday slide off them. After a moment of quiet, Shea said, “I liked your last couple of TikToks.”
That surprised her and she turned her head to regard her BFF. “Yeah?”
“Absolutely.” Shea wriggled until she was on her side, her head propped in her hand. “I think the new outlook is a good one. I don’t know of anybody who’s doing that, using that angle.”
She took a deep breath and held it for a second or two before letting it out slowly. “It feels right. I don’t know how else to explain it. After the Andi thing and the fake girlfriend thing and the Lila thing and especially after the Ellis thing, it feels like the right way to be.”
“And how are all thosethingsgoing?” They hadn’t really sat down and had an in-depth conversation for what felt like forever.
“Let’s see.” Cherry sat up and ticked them off on her fingers. “The Andi thing makes me sad. I think I’ve lost her friendship, but only time will tell on that.”
Shea nodded.
“The Lila thing is…I don’t know. I’m kind of torn between continuing to be furious at her for the rest of my life and actually getting to know my mom. You know?” She shook her head, not really understanding all the details, but not having the brain power left to roll them around.
