Spencer’s brain was like a KitchenAid mixer, systematicallyblending every thought she had, yanking it into the beaters and combining itwith every other. Her job and her living situation and Marti and Nick and Lucyand Ethan and Rebecca and spin class and her body and her jewelry and all ofit.All of it.It blended together into a thick, ugly mess of feelings until Spencer couldn’ttake it anymore. Until she wanted to scream. She could feel her face heating upas the blood rose and her body quaked with exertion and when Rebecca’s timerfinally sounded, Spencer dropped to the ground and uttered a word she’d neversaid before in all her life with enough intensity to alarm herself:
“Motherfucker.”
A beat of silence passed before the rest of the girls burst outlaughing.
“Oh, my God,finally.”Lucy was on her stomach next to Spencer, and she laid a warm hand on Spencer’sback.
Brittany and Bella broke into applause while Willow’s laugh kepton.
Spencer ventured a glance at Rebecca, who was grinning widely. “Ithink you’ve arrived,” she said to Spencer, with a wink.
It probably should have been a fun moment, something to laughabout, an amusing memory to have. But it wasn’t. Instead, it made Spencer evenmore sad and confused and she simply stayed there, like a fish that had washedup on shore.
“You okay?” Lucy asked as she got to her feet and held out a hand.
Spencer waved it off. “I’m good. Just gonna stay here for aminute.”
She could feel Lucy’s eyes on her, but she kept her own gaze onthe peeling rubber on the foot of the leg press several yards away.
“I’m worried about you, Spence.” Lucy squatted, and her voice wassoft, filled with concern. “You’re not yourself lately.”
Spencer managed to turn her grimace into a small smile and reachedto grab Lucy’s foot. “I’m okay. Promise.”
Lucy looked unconvinced, but went with it. “I’m here. Okay? Justremember that. I’m here if you need me.”
“I know. Thank you.”
Another moment went by before Lucy sighed quietly and headed forthe locker room. The truth was, Spencer didn’t want to chat. She didn’t want todeal with conversation right now. With anybody. And she was worried aboutRebecca being worried about Nick. She wanted to talk to her, to ask her how shewas, could Spencer help. Which was not her place.Sonot her place. But that didn’t make thedesire go away.
Spencer sat up but stayed on the carpeted floor for another tenminutes, just watching the bustle of BodyFit. The Crasher was in the cornerwith the free weights, dropping large plates with a loud groan after every set.Spencer could feel the reverberation in her ass as it shook the floor eachtime. The Redhead with Shoulders to Die For was on the pull-down machine, herearbuds in as she worked her triceps. Spencer wondered if she was even thetiniest bit aware of the glances she got as people walked past her. In thecorner, two twentysomething guys were bench pressing and spotting each other,encouraging one another. Everybody was busy. Everybody oblivious to thedarkness of Spencer’s mood.
She pushed out a loud breath and got to her feet, grabbed up herwater bottle and towel, and headed to the locker room. She’d timed it well, asthe other four brides were gone, so she took her time opening her locker—afterstaring at the unfamiliar red lock in confusion for longer than she cared toadmit before remembering somebody else had snagged her usual locker first. Shefound her own, twisted the dial, and got the combination wrong. The lock heldfast. With a thud, Spencer dropped her forehead against the cool metal of thelocker and just stood there, doing her best to take air in, let air out.
“Just breathe. Just be. You’re fine.” She whispered the mantraseveral times before trying the lock again, this time with success. Not wantingto dwell on the relief that coursed through her, she pulled her duffel out andunzipped it, tossed her water bottle in.
The little black velvet bag looked at her from inside.
Spencer reached in, retrieved it, pulled open the drawstrings. Hermind immediately flooded with Rebecca’s face, with the worry she must have feltafter getting the call about Nick. The panic that must have seized her. Spencerhad seen the two of them interact. She knew firsthand how much they meant toeach other.
Maybe it’llcheer her up.
That was the thought that spurred Spencer into action. Shetightened the drawstring back up, pocketed the pouch, gathered her things, andwent in search of her fitness instructor one last time.
* * *
Rebecca was exhausted.
She’d spent most of her free time for the past three days eitherhelping Nick and Michelle or doing research for them. She was pretty sure she’dvisited every fitness and good health site she knew of a dozen times each andthat she’d read about a million articles, blogs, and chat rooms. She wasdetermined to find the very best regimen for Nick that she could, and shewouldn’t stop until she had.
All the while, his words echoed through her head.
Life is too.Fucking. Short.
It was a simple statement, really. Not hugely original. Peoplesaid it all the time. Every day. It was a common thing for one person to remindanother. Rebecca knew all of this. So why had it stuck with her so completely?Like gum on the bottom of her shoe, it was always there and she kept noticingit because it would stop her progress for a second or two. Not only that, ittook her focus. She found herself staring off into space on a regular basisover the past three days—like now—and it weirded her out. She was getting solittle accomplished at work, but she felt like she’d developed instantattention deficit disorder and couldn’t concentrate on one thing for longerthan a couple minutes before she ended up staring off, once again, distractedby blond hair, blue eyes.
“Hey.” Spencer’s voice startled Rebecca enough to make her flinchin surprise. Spencer wrinkled her nose and put a hand on Rebecca’s shoulder.“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Then, as if noticing she was touchingRebecca, she snatched her hand back.
“Oh, no. No problem. That’s what I get for daydreaming.” Rebeccaforced a smile onto her face. This was a situation where she couldn’t not lookat Spencer. She didn’t want to, mostly because looking at Spencer did things toher. Sexual things. Things low in her body. Things she didn’t want to thinkabout. At least in class, there were four other women she could rest her eyeson and it wasn’t obvious that she wasn’t looking at Spencer. But now? It wouldbe rude to avoid any and all eye contact when it was just the two of them.Mentally bracing, she looked up from her seat, into soft blue eyes thatseemed…uncertain. “What’s up?”
