“The house my mother grew up in and the piece of land it sits on in the mountains of Jarabacoa.”
Her eyes widen. “Oh, Nick.”
My smile holds no warmth. “I was an idiot. My mother left that house in her will for Daisy and me, and I lost it on a bet with my father. He cheated, since he had insider information on the company we were competing to acquire. He knew he would be stealing another piece of my mother from me, and he did it with a smile on his face. I knew my father played dirty, knew he didn’t have a noble bone in his body, and yet I still stooped to his level and engaged with him in this stupid bet, and for what? To prove what I already knew about us? That I’m a better man than he’ll ever be, and when it comes to business, I’ll always come out on top? Well, I guess I was wrong. A part of me will always be my father’s son.” I drop my head in my hands and feel the weight of my actions fall onto my shoulders.
“Hey, you stop that right now,” Luisa scolds.
“Stop what?” I can’t even bear looking at her now that I’ve admitted what I’ve done. But you bet your ass my head snaps up when I hear her next words.
“Don’t you dare talk about my husband like that.”
A heady mixture of shock and frustration fills my chest. “Careful, wife. For a second there, you almost had me believing you didn’t think this marriage was fake. Or are we done lying and ready to call this what it is?”
“Nick.” She struggles to take in a full breath. “We signed a contract. We’re supposed to divorce in less than a year. You get your… your mother’s house, and after that—” She places a hand on her stomach and steadies her breathing. She closes her eyes and asks, “And what happens when you get your house signed over to you? You no longer need to be married to me.” Her eyes stare back with unshed tears. “What am I supposed to do, then?” she whispers.
I move in closer, my body vibrating with the need for her to hear me loud and clear. “Real, Luisa. This marriage is fucking real to me and has been for a very long time. And maybe I’ve been a little hypocritical, waiting for you to say the words that I’m so desperate to hear from you. But I’ll remedy it right now.” I grab my phone off the coffee table and pull up my email. I punch at my screen so strongly, I’m surprised my screen doesn’t crack as I hit Send All.
Luisa’s eyes dart between me and my phone. “What are you doing? What about the contract? You said it yourself that this was supposed to be a fair trade.”
“Oh yeah? Well, fuck fair. And any little thing that comes between you and me.”
Luisa’s phone dings once with a notification. Then twice. She ignores it as she stares back at me.
I nod to her phone. “You might want to check that soon. It’s only going to ring 133 more times.”
“What are you talking about?” She finally reaches for her phone and freezes when she sees my name flashing across her screen, one incoming email after the other.
“I started talking to my therapist again after I left for London. After I realized I fucked up.” Her mouth opens slightly at my admission. “When you wouldn’t speak to me, I realized that running from my feelings had finally caught up to me. For a long time, I was fine bullshitting myself, but once I realized that my coping mechanism, my way to survive emotional distress affected you, I knew it was time to check back in with my doc and get my head screwed on straight. I’m sure she wasn’t expecting I’d request multiple sessions a week via video conference.” I manage a small smile at the look of shock on her face and the nonstop notifications I’ve caused.
“But the absence of you made for far too much free time in my head. I missed talking to you whenever I wanted, even if it was from behind the guise of my pestering emails. So… I wrote you anyway. Every day, multiple times a day, and left them in my drafts folder. If you asked me then, I wouldn’t be able to tell you why I did it. But ask me now.”
A tear runs down her cheek, but she doesn’t move to swipe it away. Her eyes bore into mine as she finally dares to ask. “Why did you do it, Nick? Why did you write me every day?”
“Because I love you.”
forty-seven
I suck in ashocked breath. “Nick.”
“Have for a very long time, if I’m being honest.” He nods to my phone, whose ringer seems like it’s about to go on the fritz with the barrage of emails coming its way. “That man had no idea what this was, but knew he had lost something much too valuable to let go of.”
My heart is beating faster than the notifications are coming in. The realization that Nick’s feelings for me started long before we got married. Enough for him to seek help and work on himself. Not knowing that life would throw us this curveball and we’d end up married to one another.
Meaning he doesn’t have this displaced feeling of loving me simply out of duty. Simply because I’m his wife.
Proving that I can trust his actions and words above the doubts that unjustly roam free in my mind.
I’m stunned by the revelation.
Of how his feelings seem to perfectly match my own.
But he must mistake my silence for rejection.
He places a soft kiss on my forehead and stays there as he speaks. “Read them. Please. There is no long, thought-out love declaration in any of them, but maybe if you look close enough, you can see what we were both too scared to admit. That it has always been us. From the very beginning. From that first night in the bar. The night that changed our lives forever.”
He stands, and I immediately miss the warmth and comfort only his closeness provides.
“Read them. I’ll give you some space. I’ll even sleep in the guest room if you need time to process it all. But please, just… read them.” He leaves and makes his way up the stairs, only the sound of my phone and my breathing heard in the empty room.
