“Do you remember the day you walked in on me talking to Amelia and Evan about my breakup with Justin?” He stiffens at the mention of my ex.
We’ve spoken briefly about him since Justin texted me yesterday, asking me to meet him for a chat to discuss his plans to move out. He’s been in Florida with his family for the holidays, and we haven’t gotten around to having a conversation about logistics since the breakup happened.
“Yeah. What about it?”
“If you had gotten there earlier, you would have heard why I broke up with him.” I nudge his face toward me when I notice the tic in his jaw. “I didn’t see a future with him. With anyone I’ve ever dated, for that matter. I’ve always been fiercely independent, and when I looked to my future, I could see all the well-laid plans I’ve worked toward vividly, but never the men who were currently in my life.” I sigh.
“I played by the rules. Made sure the men ticked every box, went on the appropriate number of dates before becoming exclusive, and never took any risks that could lead to getting my heart broken.”
“And what about me? What’s the difference with me?” His voice cracks on the last word, giving away his fear of where this conversation is going.
I shake my head at the absurdity of the situation. This man, who, by all accounts, is larger than life, clings to me as if he hasn’t already seared himself into my soul.
“The difference?” I chuckle quietly. “There are no boxes for you to tick. You have obliterated any sense of appropriate timelines for this relationship. I should have known when you told me you went ahead and fell in love with me at first sight.” I smile. “And Tony? The men of my past? I couldn’t see them, couldn’t see a future with them in it. So if you’re asking me what the difference with you is? It’s this. I see you everywhere. You’ve embedded yourself in my bones. Not having you in my future would be like being forced to live life in black and white after you’ve shown me colors I never knew existed. Many years ago, I made a foolish mistake based on fear. I didn’t want to lose the people I considered family. I wanted to set roots and create a new place to call home. But now? You are my family. You are my home. And that is the difference.”
His head falls into the crook of my neck. “Nikki,” he whispers. “I love you so fucking much. I promise to be the man you need me to be. Tell me what you need, and it’s done.”
“Well, you do look irresistible in a suit. Just wear one of those, and I’ll run my ass over to you no matter where I am or what I’m doing,” I joke, attempting to bring levity to the room.
He lifts his head. “Is that so? I’ll have to keep that in mind.” His hand encircles my throat as he captures my lips with his, keeping me right where he wants me as he devours me whole. I feel the full force of his power in this kiss, yet his hand holds me gently, like I’m his most prized possession.
I clench my thighs together, attempting to relieve some of the tension building in my core. Tony notices, because he chuckles on my lips.
“What’s so funny, big guy?”
He finally releases me and offers me a relaxed smile. “Oh, nothing. I could go ahead and take care of that for you.” He nods at my lower half. “But then again, I’ll let that be just another reason you run home to me.” He smirks.
Jerk.
He moves toward his front door. “Come on. I’ll walk you home. The cold air should help.”
I chuck one of my gloves at him, which he dodges expertly.
“I survived many flyingchancletas, Nikki. You’re gonna have to try harder than that.” He grins.
I huff and stomp my way toward the front door but can’t keep the smile from emerging on my face.
I’m in love.
And that big hunk of man holding open my coat for me loves me right back.
Being in the spotlight of his gaze warms my skin more than the Dominican sun ever could. And I promise myself in that moment that I’ll protect us at all costs.
* * *
After an inappropriate display of public affection, I say goodbye to Tony at my building’s entrance. I still have the goofy smile on my face as I finish ascending the three flights of stairs to my apartment.
A smile that drops immediately as the reality of my not-so-distant past stands in front of my apartment door.
“Hey, Nikki. We need to talk.”
“Hi, Justin.”
37
Antonio
The meetingfrom hell did nothing to ease my rattled feelings about my future at the NYPD.
