“What was it? Was I not good enough for you? You were only in it for the stupid New Year’s kiss? Was I just some dumb guy you met at the club—”
“I was scared!” she yells.
I jerk back. “Scared? You were scared of me?” I point to my chest.
She shakes her head. “No, Tony. I could never be scared of you. But… but I was young and scared of us.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose to stop myself from shouting or running away. Because if this is the last conversation we ever have, I damn well will be walking away with all the answers I’ve been waiting for. “Explain,” I say gruffly.
Nikki looks up at me and squares her shoulders. “Look, I don’t expect you to understand. You come from a family full of people who love and support you. You have a community of strangers who, at some point, chose you and decided that they would be your family as well. I never had that. It was just me, my mom, and the ghost of my dad. Amelia is the closest thing I’ve ever had to a sister. And your family…” She gets choked up on the last word. “Your family… chose me. They took me in. They gave me what I never had as a child. And I was too scared… too afraid to risk it after only having spent one night with you.”
I chuckle darkly. “So you chose my family over me. Is that it?”
Her features darken and her words start to pack a punch. “No, Tony. I looked at the situation from a sensible perspective. You were a man I’d only known for a few hours. A man, who, according to your family, was very anti-relationship. A man who didn’t spend more than one night with a woman. And to top it all off, you were my best friend’s older brother. And at the time, I couldn’t trust my feelings for you. Because there was no way that I could have… that we could have…”
“What. We couldn’t have what, Nikki?” I snarl.
She takes a tentative step toward me. “I didn’t know if I was capable of falling in love.” I suck in a breath as she continues. “I learned from my mother that nothing good can come from it. And that night with you. My brain couldn’t compute. And logically, it wouldn’t have made sense to tell myself that I… that we…”
“But I did, Nikki.” I take one step closer to her, letting her feel the raging heat emanating from my body. “I fell in love with you that night. I don’t know whether it took a minute or an hour.” I run an aggravated hand through my hair. “Fuck, it’s been seven years, and the wound still won’t fucking heal.”
She gasps as a tear runs down her face. “Tony.”
I rub my face harshly. “And you wanna know the worst part? It’s knowing that I would never feel that spark with anyone else. Being stuck on the sidelines as you happily moved on with guy after guy. Knowing that they got Nikki while I was stuck with the memory of Nicolette.”
She advances on me, her hands softly placed on my chest. “I’m so sorry. My decision has haunted me for years. And as much as I want to say I would take it back, I don’t know if I would.” I tense under her touch, but she bunches my shirt in her hands to keep me in place. “I was a twenty-three-year-old girl in a new city, looking for a sliver of security.” She lays her forehead on my chest and releases a breath, then whispers. “I just wanted to belong.”
I just wanted to belong.
The sadness in her voice cuts me to my core.
I wait three breaths, then cradle her face in my hands, tilting her back so she can look at me. “You could have belonged to me.” My thumbs slowly wipe away the tears that fall freely. Her eyes plead for my forgiveness, and something in me snaps.
“Fuck it. You’ve always belonged to me.” I crush my lips to hers and swallow her surprised gasp.
Her sounds.
Her lips.
Her love.
It all belongs to me now.
I break the kiss too soon and meet her watery gaze. “Two questions, Nikki. And for the love of God, you better answer them honestly.”
She nods frantically as she clings to the lapels of my suit.
“Do you want this? Do you want us? Because if I kiss you again, that’s what we’ll be. An us. We can leave the past where it belongs, but I need to know what you want now. Do you want me?” I’m not able to remove the vulnerability in my voice.
Her face softens and she sighs. “Yes, Tony. I want us. Very badly. If you forgive me, I would very much like to start over.”
I nod repeatedly, my heart beating a million times a minute in my chest. “Second question. If I make you mine tonight, will you promise to remember it tomorrow?”
She grins up at me, stands on her tiptoes, and whispers on my lips. “Do your worst.”
Her words from seven years ago light my soul on fire.
I kiss her again, and this time, she wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me closer to her.
