I slowly open the closet door to make sure Tony is decent.
Or to not give away my presence if he’s not.
He’s already in bed and under the covers. His upper body is bare, and he’s leaning against the headboard.
Once he sees me, he silently pulls the sheets down for me to get into bed. The simple gesture cracks the walls around my heart.
The instant my body touches the mattress, I feel my exhaustion hit.
Tony must notice, because he turns off the light on his nightstand while I place the thickest pillow I can find between us. Maybe this one will do the trick tonight.
Tony turns in time to eye the pillow as I shut off my light.
We say nothing as we both lie on our backs, looking up at the ceiling.
I’m not sure if we lie for seconds or minutes.
But the next thing I know, Tony is throwing the pillow onto the floor. I lift my head to say something, but my words die in my throat as one of his massive hands pulls me toward him and he spoons me.
“W-what are we… you—”
“It’s late. Go to sleep, Nikki,” he mumbles into my neck.
“Oh, okay,” I whisper as my heart races. “Good night, Tony.”
“Good night, corazón.”
I must have drifted off quickly, because the last thing I recall is dreaming of Tony placing a tender kiss on my head.
* * *
Today must be Groundhog Day.
Because I wake up spread over Tony’s body while he smirks down at me.
“Good morning, Koala. Or should I name you stage five clinger?” He taps my nose, his eyes crinkling with his smile.
I don’t even make an immediate attempt to peel myself off him. I’ll be damned if I let him see me waking up embarrassed two mornings in a row. “I’m used to my heated blanket. My body is seeking out warmth. What did you call it yesterday? Ah, right. It’s biology.” I shrug.
Tony throws his head back in laughter while also tightening his hold on me. It’s only then that I realize that he’s clinging to me just as much as I am to him.
And I like it… a lot.
Too much.
And I don’t deserve it. At least not like this.
Yesterday, Tony opened up about his ex-girlfriend and how her deception shattered him. And here I am, holding on to the secret that ended us before we even had a chance to get started.
There is no nook or cranny in my subconscious mind where I can hide the plain fact that I want this.
I want Tony.
But I know better than any psychology textbook that there is no way for us to even explore dating as an option if our foundation is based on lies.
My lies.
The guilt is enough to have me shuffle off him without meeting his eyes. “I’m gonna use the bathroom real quick.” I start making my way toward the stairs.
