Luckily, all I have to do now is check in, pick a cute outfit… and change my underwear. Then all traces of Antonio will be erased until this vacation is over. Until then, I’m off to find the nearest drink with an umbrella in it. Dream vacay, here I come.
Nikki
SEVEN YEARS AGO - NEW YEAR’S EVE
Miami
“What can I get ya?” the handsome bartender asks as he leans across the bar.
“Vodka soda with a splash of cran.”
“Coming right up.” He knocks twice on the lit-up bar top before making his way toward the other end.
I need this drink, my first of the night. I’ve been babysitting Amelia all day. Hardly an inconvenience for me since she’s always there for me, day or night. But when Amelia starts drinking, she wants everyone to drink with her.
So I may have only had orange juice in my mimosa and water shots instead of vodka. I knew we would be partying tonight and staying out past midnight. Therefore, I made the judgment call to hide my lack of drinking so she didn’t feel guilty for letting loose. We all have those moments, especially in our early twenties, and I’m more than happy to let my girl do her thing. Safely.
I turn away from the bar to face the crowd. The booming bass vibrates on my skin as my dress twinkles below the club’s strobe lights. Crowded bodies move to the sensual beat while keeping a close eye on the massive digital clock above the DJ booth that’s currently counting down the minutes until midnight. Miami definitely knows how to do nightlife, and there is no shortage of beautiful people.
I was born and raised here, therefore jaded by the novelty of it all. I quickly learned that, for a lot of the people in this city, their lifestyles are just a bunch of smoke and mirrors.
That’s why I’m so excited about my move to New York. I can’t wait to leave the swamp humidity and experience all four seasons. Abandon I-95 traffic for walking the cool city streets. And most of all, to finally create physical space between me and my mother and our strained relationship. Unlike me, she has yet to learn her lesson about not falling prey to all of Miami’s vices. And unfortunately for her, this city is crawling with her kryptonite. Wealthy and emotionally unavailable men.
I, on the other hand, take a different approach when it comes to relationships. I like practicality and understand that nothing is meant to last forever. So I avoid putting my fate in someone else’s hands. Not everyone needs to be swept off their feet and I quite like having mine firmly planted on the ground.
I know. Someone out there is probably thinking “who hurt you, girl?” And honestly, the answer is no one. My mom went through enough emotional turmoil raising me as a single mom that I made the educated decision to abstain from the messy, the unpredictable, and the most volatile emotion on the planet. Love.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a full marshmallow on the inside and am very much capable of love, but I like to think that I hold the capacity to “put a cap on it.” Not let it overflow and run my life.
Case in point, Amelia. Poor thing is a mess after breaking up with her on-again, off-again boyfriend. Someone who is clearly not suited for her, and she very well knows this. And yet you can expect her to be out of commission for a minimum of twenty to twenty-five business days because she needs to “mourn the relationship appropriately.”
I’m perfectly fine withgivinglove to the men I end up in relationships with, but I will never allow myself to fall in love. I mean, the fact that I have tofallalready seems like such an unsafe concept.
So instead, I’m the one who loves less and leaves first.
“Here’s your drink.” The bartender slides the drink toward me as I dig into my clutch to grab my debit card.
“It’s on me,” says the jittery man to my left. His eyes are wild, and he can’t seem to stop moving his weight from one foot to another.
Growing up in a party city, you quickly learn to look for the warning signs, and this guy is definitely on an upper. Must have partaken in some nose candy in the bathrooms earlier in the night and is looking for someone to ride the high with. Or just someone to ridehim.
“Oh, thank you, but I’m all set.” I push my card toward the bartender and widen my eyes a bit, giving him the universal girl signal to ignore the man beside me. He nods and reaches for my card as the guy next to me tries to intercept with his own card.
“Come on. One drink, babe. It’s New Year’s Eve.” He tries to smolder at me but instead gives me a squinty look with a slight eye twitch.
“Like I said, I’m good. Thanks anyway.” The bartender reaches to my right, and I’m able to finally hand him my card. He nods and holds my gaze for a second, secretly letting me know that he’ll keep an eye on the situation.
I honestly hate that I live in a world where a silent language needs to be created in order for a woman to feel safe out in the world, but this isn’t my first rodeo. This is my city, and I can tell this guy isn’t a local, so I’ll be damned if a tourist puts a damper on my last New Year’s Eve in my hometown.
Without ever taking my eyes off my drink, I go to grab it, but yet again, this guy intercepts.
“Sweetheart, let me take care of you tonight. This party is just getting started, if you know what I mean.” He sniffles and rubs his reddening eyes.
I fully cover my drink with my right hand as I face him, not giving a damn if I’m being obvious about the fact that I absolutely think this guy would spike my drink. “Listen, buddy, I’m not interested. Best you focus your efforts on drinking some water and staying hydrated. You’re looking a bit thirsty.” I couldn’t help myself with that last bit. I really do try and hold back when it comes to guys like this because they’re so unpredictable. But what can I say? I have a mouth on me.
Right on cue, his bruised ego makes an appearance as his dilated pupils darken and he invades my personal space. Before he can get any closer, I feel the hair on the back of my neck stand, and a dominating presence looms over us. For some reason, my body isn’t reacting to it as danger. The loser next to me must not notice, because he’s still sneering in my direction.
“I’m going to need you to step the fuck away from her.” A deep, rich voice speaks from behind me. So close I can feel him everywhere, with his breath cascading down my neck, even though he isn’t actually touching me.
