“Amelia, this is not how I wanted to have this conversation, I’m sorry. I think we should take a minute to cool down, maybe eat something, then we can talk …” Before I can even finish my sentence, Amelia is hopping off the bar stool and grabbing her purse. “Amelia, please just let me explain!” I yell.
She stops walking for a moment. “Don’t bother Evan. If you haven’t noticed, I’ve met my quota of listening to men bullshit me this year. Maybe I’ll indulge this conversation in a year or two.” She turns and starts to walk towards her bedroom.
Before I realize what I am doing, I lift my now empty glass and throw it into the kitchen sink, sending shards of glass all over the counter, stove and floors. Amelia stops dead in her tracks and turns to stare at me with her jaw dropped.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” I quickly said. “Just losing my goddamn mind here. It’s fine, I got it. Just go.” I crouch down and start to pick up the pieces of glass while trying to figure out how the hell this conversation took such a left turn. I don’t even notice that my hand is bleeding until I feel Amelia softly pull on my forearm. I look up at her and I can’t read her mind, but at this moment it feels as though our fight has been put on pause.
“Where is your first aid kit, Evan?” she asks quietly.
I sigh. “I’m not sure, probably one of the bathrooms.”
She tugs on my arm again to prompt me to stand, and then keeps her arm there as she guides me to one of the guest bathrooms. She searches around a few bathroom drawers until she finds the first aid kit. I wash my hand in the sink making sure I have no more glass poking around, then reach my good hand out for her to give me a band aid.
“Sit.” She nods her head towards the toilet. I do as I’m told and keep my mouth shut for once as she cleans up my hand.
“Well, that was dumb,” she says as she’s rubbing an alcohol swab on my hand. There were other disinfectants in that kit, but I probably deserve the extra sting.
“It was. I’m sorry if I scared you. I—”
“I wasn’t scared. I know you would never hurt me … physically.” The pause was momentary, but I caught it. I can feel her walls going up again. It’s now or never.
“Amelia.” I sigh.
“And would you look at that, they even have a Paw Patrol band aid in here for yo—”
“I have feelings for you,” I blurt out.
She stares blankly at my hand for a couple of seconds, then proceeds to put on the band aid.
“Amelia, did you hear me? I said I have feelings for you,” I say again, a little louder.
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, then removes her hand from mine. “Yeah, I heard you, but … you don’t have to say that. We can just ignore that whole argument and go back to ignoring each other for the next decade,” she says while avoiding eye contact with me.
“What do you mean? I’m trying to tell you how I feel, why I’ve been acting like a lunatic whenever I’m around you. I can’t hold it in any longer Amelia. I … I …”
“I don’t believe you, Evan.” She finally meets my eyes, her shoulders sagging before she continues. “Not in the sense that I’m calling you a liar, but rather I don’t think you truly mean it. You can’t.” She turns around to start walking out of the bathroom.
“Let me prove it to you,” I say while standing up, taking full advantage of my height. Her eyes take me in, clearly wary of my words.
“And how exactly would you do that?” she says as she crosses her arms over her chest.
I slowly make my way towards her, never breaking eye contact. I cup her face in my hands and her eyes go wide. “Evan, what are you doing?” she croaks.
“Proving it to you.” I lower my head so that our lips are almost touching, then I start to let her in on all the moments that have replayed in my heart for years. “Miami. When I came to visit you after you had broken up with your high school sweetheart. I wasn’t there because I was on a business trip. I flew down because I knew it was your birthday, and I wanted to celebrate with you. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was about to have the best night of my life with the girl who's always had my heart.”
Her breath hitches and she drops her arms to her side. “W-what did you just say?” She stares at my lips momentarily, then her eyes meet mine.
“Once I got to Miami, I thought that I could play it cool and just go out for dinner or drinks with you and your friends, but once you spotted me in your dorm room, you lit up in a way I’ve never seen before. You jumped into my arms and introduced me to everyone, then insisted I join you on your quest to sneak into a party on Miami Beach. That whole night you shared stories of your adventures with your friends, and told everybody about our holiday celebrations in New York. You were in the spotlight and everyone, including myself, was completely enamored by you.”
Her eyes are as wide as saucers, and I start to rub her cheek with my thumb.
“Once you successfully snuck us in, we danced the night away. The feeling of having you in my arms, smiling and laughing. Hell, it’s a feeling I’ve never been able to replicate, no matter how hard I’ve tried. After Miami, I heard from your brother that you’d gotten back together with your ex, and I was completely gutted. I decided the safest way to keep myself from being destroyed by you, while still being able to be in your company was to keep you at arm’s length. I was always too little or too late when it came to fighting for your heart. That’s why I’ve never been in a serious relationship after Miami, and that’s why I’ve been secretly holding a torch for you for the better part of a decade.”
Amelia is barely able to string together a sentence but makes her best attempt. “Evan, I had no idea. I, um. Oh my God, are you serious? We were, ah, only back together for a week or something. It was dumb. But Evan, why. Why did you never tell me, or make a move?” Her brows furrowed together.
“I did Amelia. But like I said, I was always too late. There was always someone waiting on the sidelines for you, and I was never quick enough. After your mother died, I vowed to be there for you, but I knew you needed time to heal. So I gave you space, and the next time I saw you, you were engaged.” I rub her cheek again, while shrugging one shoulder.
Amelia’s mouth forms a perfect O as she blinks repeatedly, realization overcoming her. She’s probably thinking about our throwdown at the pub over the summer.
