Amusement dances all over his features when he grabs the hand I forgot to remove from his chest. He leans down to match our height and eye level, leaving mere inches between our faces.
“Amelia, you’re standing in a twenty five million dollar home, with millions more in upgrades and renovations, and you’re concerned about my toilet paper budget. Adorable.” He kisses my knuckles then gently lowers my hand, keeping it in his while he tugs me further along the hallway.
At this point I can hear my heartbeat pounding in my ears. My hand feels like it’s been set ablaze, and he seems totally unfazed about the fact that he just called me adorable and kissed my hand.
HELLO! Panic with me!
I can barely pay attention to all the details he’s pointing out, so I just nod and hum every so often, and hope I’m landing on cue. I think there was something about a steam room, gym, and a hot tub. But I could be remembering old episodes of MTV Cribs at this point.
His phone starts ringing when we make it back to the main living room. “Sorry, I’ve got to take this. Should only be a few minutes,” he says as he releases my hand and walks toward the side of the house I have yet to see.
Once he is out of sight, I make a beeline for the kitchen and pour myself another generous glass of wine. Now that I am left to wander on my own, I take a moment to settle my nerves.
Get it together girl, he’s either just being polite or trying to get a rise out of you. Don’t let him see how affected you are by his presence. And if my nether regions could stop betraying me and remember why we dislike this man, it will make this night go by faster. Please and thank you.
Evan comes back into view and eyes my glass of wine as I end my pathetic silent prayer. He preemptively puts his hands up as if he means no harm and says, “Listen, you’re on vacation, so have at it. But I would personally prefer it if we didn’t have a repeat of vomitgate,” he teases.
“It was a bad street dog!” I huff. “Besides, it’s Thanksgiving weekend so I intend on eating and drinking my body weight in carbs thank you very much.” I raise the glass towards him in a cheers even though his hands are in his pockets.
“Very well then, how about I show you to your room?” He gestures to the right side of the house. He grabs my suitcase and carries it down the hallway, not bothering to use the wheels to drag it. Show off. “So this wing only has two bedrooms. The master bedroom and your room,” he says casually.
“Hold on a second. So, everyone else is on the other side of the house, and I’m left to fend for myself by sleeping in your lair?” I question as bewilderment overcasts my features. “Why isn’t Antonio getting this room? He’s the only other single guy on this trip!”
“I’ve shown the house to Tony already via FaceTime, and he called dibs on the bedroom by the gym and gaming room.”
“Wait, there’s a gaming room in this house?” I ask, perplexed.
“Amelia, I literally just showed it to you five minutes ago. Are you okay? Do you need some water?”
“No, I’m fine. What I need is to swap rooms with someone else. Why aren’t Vanessa and Abby taking this room, huh? Or Priscilla, or—”
“Ok, I’m gonna save you the hassle of going down the list, so here you go. Vanessa and Abby need the second master room to accommodate their toddlers, while also being close to the other kids bedroom. Lucy and Bill, along with the twins specifically requested rooms furthest away from the older kids, so that puts them the two separate rooms with balconies upstairs. Danielle and Luis are newly married so I gave them the third and final master, which just leaves you and Priscilla.”
“Perfect! Great, I’ll swap with Priscilla then!” I clap my hands.
“Sorry that doesn’t work for me, because as we all know, Priscilla has been trying to sleep with me since high school. And let’s just say that my current shift in tax brackets has made those advances a bit more … forward. So out of an abundance of caution, and for the safety of my penis, I have placed her in the room furthest from mine. So, there you have it. Your room has nothing to do with the proximity of my bedroom.” He nods.
“Uh-huh.” I pause. “So what you’re saying is that I am in this room to protect your penis?” I say matter of factly as I cross my arms over my chest.
“Shit, right. That came out wrong.” He squeezes the back of his neck with his free hand and shifts uncomfortably on his feet.
“It’s fine, let’s get this over with so I can start planning how I’m going to barricade myself in this room tonight,” I say as I open the door that Evan has nodded towards.
“That’s really uncalled for. Last I checked, you were the one stripped naked in my home. So should history repeat itself,I’mthe one who should be locking my doors at night, sweetheart.” Evan smolders.
“Okay. Ground rules. First, don’t call me sweetheart. Second, we’re not talking about that night in question, like ever. And third … Well, I’ll think of what else is off-limits, but for now just be aware that I will probably come up with a third. Got it?”
“Ma’am, yes Ma’am,” Evan says as he salutes me.
I roll my eyes as I enter my assigned bedroom and am instantly taken aback by the view. The back of the room dons an exquisite pair of French doors that provide an unobstructed view of the backyard.
A quick survey shows that I will be sleeping on a king size bed, with what looks like the fluffiest bedding known to man. I would immediately flop onto it if Evan weren’t standing in the doorway. I walk towards what I assume is a closet door, only to be surprised by an ensuite bathroom.
Evan clicks on a remote by the door that causes an automatic blackout curtain to cover the glass doors from left to right. “So is the room to your liking, honey?” Evan teases.
“Okay, there’s ground rule number three. No calling me honey,” I snap.
“Great. Let’s cap the ground rules to just three. Nice, strong number don’t you agree?” He raises a playful brow.
