“Ummmm.”
“Sebastián, you idiot!” Nikki exclaims.
Shit.
“That bastard knows the importance of today and is trying to butter you up. Don’t fall for it Amelia!”
“Sheesh, calm down. No need to get your panties in a bunch. I have no plans to ever speak to him again. Plus, he stopped calling and sending flowers months ago. I doubt this is a ploy to get back together with me.” I wave her away.
“Regardless, what a shitty thing to do. Make you think of him on a day that’s supposed to be about your dad. A true narcissist if you ask me!”
DING DONG.
I set the flowers on the kitchen counter and head to open the front door. “Hola, Amelia bella. ¿Como estás?” my Tío Ricardo says as he leans in for a hug and one kiss on my cheek, traditional Latino greeting. Tía Lourdes followed closely behind.
“¡Con permiso, steer clear! I have the cake!” Tía Lourdes hollers as she bypasses me and heads straight to the kitchen.
“¡Bienvenidos!” my dad roars at the sight of our first guests. They greet one another and head off to the dining room where I’ve set up a bar area with cups, ice and various booze options. My brother arrives and immediately hides his sacred beer stash, never one to share his precious IPA’s with the family. Then, he stuffs an incomprehensible amount of tostones in his mouth. I tell him to go easy and leave some for the guests, and he grunts.
The next hour is the same cycle of the doorbell ringing, loud greetings and shuffling of cold bodies into dad’s warm apartment. Nikki helps me play host and takes everyone’s coats and purses and sets them on the guest bedroom mattress, the unofficial Latino coat closet in New York City.
Tía Isabella has me cornered, telling me about her friend’s son that she wants to set me up with, when Tía Maria intercepts, “Ay mi bella Amelia. Such a pity to be single at this age.” She shakes her head side to side. “Are you sure you can’t forgive Sebastían and give him one more chance? You know good men are hard to come by, and everyone makes mistakes.” She waves her hand dismissively.
“Tía, por favor.” I try to stop her, but she talks over me.
“I’m just saying you’re about to turn thirty, Amelia. You’ve spent so much time going back and forth with that man, and now you’ve lost valuable time. Just think about it before you scare him off for good. I would hate for you to miss out on having a family because of your stubbornness.” She cups my face in her hands and offers me a pity look.
Finally, some of the cousin crew arrives, and I use that as my excuse to escape the conversation from hell.
I spot Vanessa and her wife Abby, along with their kids. Vanessa gives me one look and I already know I should immediately take out the private stash of fireball and discreetly serve her a shot. Going from zero to five kids is not for the faint of heart, but I know she and Abby wouldn’t have it any other way.
“God you’re a lifesaver,” Vanessa whispers as soon as she takes the shot from my hand.
“Should I pour one for Abby, too?” I ask.
“No! I was on duty for all the Halloween activities this year while she was working. I still have a few more ‘non-designated parent’ nights left to even consider calling us even. Hit me again,” she says as she dramatically slaps the counter as if she’s in a bar and I’m her enabling bartender. I serve her one more shot and then figure it would probably be better use of my time to just leave her the bottle and walk away to check on Nikki.
Nikki has attended many of my family parties, and has even picked up a little bit of Spanish. I once suggested we invite one of my coworkers to my mom’s Easter Brunch and she almost took me out right then and there. Proclaimed that she would be the onlygringaat our parties. “If we just start letting any ol’ white girl join the fun then I will lose my allure with this crowd!” were her exact words. The only exception is Abby since she’s married to Vanessa, which is who I find her chatting with. They both look like they’re up to no good.
“What are you two scheming up over here? And before you try to deny it, please know that I caught you both giving me overly dramatic evil grins from across the room,” I warn playfully.
“Oh no scheming here, just thoroughly enjoying Abby’s company. Oh and hearing all about your insane Thanksgiving plans.” Nikki giggles as she silently claps her hands together. I can already tell I’m going to need a glass of wine for this.
“Ohhhh do tell. Am I being whisked away to Paris? Or are we road tripping to Montreal? Or better yet, I got it. Tucked in my bed watching endless hours of Netflix while eating Chinese food.” I sigh dramatically as I pour myself a glass of Sauvignon Blanc. “Living the dream.”
“Well actually, we’re all being whisked away …” Abby starts but Nikki can’t seem to hold in her excitement.
“Oh my gosh so you guys are so lucky, you’re all going to stay at a cabin in the Berkshires! And by you guys I mean the cousin crew!” Nikki exclaims.
I blink a few times and look at Abby. Before I can get a word out Nikki continues.
“The best part is that all the parents will be out of town. They’re all flying to Punta Cana and using it as a belated birthday trip for your dad, isn’t that so incredibly sweet and thoughtful?!” Nikki swoons.
“Um, what?” I look at Abby again as she tries to hide her smile behind her wine glass. Before Nikki can start again I speak up. “Ok, ABBY and ABBY only. Can you please explain what Nikki is referring to? She’s clearly had a lobotomy since I last saw her twenty minutes ago.”
“Ok, but I was sworn to secrecy so you can’t be mad at me, promise?” Abby pleads.
“Ugh ok fine, spill,” I say.
