“Oh stop, that dress was literally made for your ass, my flapjacks could never fill it out the way you do!” Nikki laughs.
“Can you please stop talking about my ass? Especially in public. People might get the wrong idea. Wasn’t the point of tonight toget my groove back? Whatever that means.”
“Ha! Never! I would gladly use your tush as a pillow every night, but you eat cheese like everyday and refuse to accept the fact that you’re lactose intolerant.”
“Nikki!” I yell.
“Oh come on loosen up! You’re dressed like a sex kitten, you’ve taken four shots of tequila with me so far tonight, and you’re about to set off boners all over this party. I’m already proud of you for taking my advice and putting on that sexy underwear!” Nikki exclaims.
Nikki can sometimes have a bit of an online shopping problem, and in this case she bought a very nice lingerie set from La Perla, and didn’t even bother double checking the sizes when she ordered, now saying it’s too late to return it.
“Somehow I creepily feel like you bought these for me to wear knowing I wouldn’t turn down luxury goods,” I say as I eye her suspiciously.
“Oh my God I really didn’t, although that would be a genius idea. I would love to invest in your future sex life. Who knows, maybe you get some mileage on them tonight.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me.
“Can you please remind me again why you made me come out tonight to hear you guys talk about lactose intolerance and Amelia getting in some sex mileage?” Justin pipes in, looking at Nikki as we finally make it into the club after waiting in line. Poor Justin is always roped into our girl chats, and even though he and Nikki have been dating for a year, he clearly is the third wheel in this arrangement.
“Sorry Justin. Please tell your woman to behave tonight, I feel like she’s keen on having me go home with a stranger, and I would like to remind you that we all live in the same building. So I would have to run over to your place in the middle of the night and ask you to get rid of the guy once I start telling him my sob story about my dead mom and cheating fiancé.”
“Uh Amelia, I don’t think you’d need me to get rid of him, I’m sure he’d run for the hills on his own accord.” Justin laughs.
“Sheesh, I’m such a gem. Can we just go back home now?” I say as I reluctantly hand my coat over to the coat check.
“Hell no. Look, you obviously don’t need to go home with anyone tonight. But I do need you to realize how hot you are and that your douchebag ex-fiancé’s inability to keep his penis in his pants has nothing to do with you,” Nikki starts. “I mean for fuck’s sake Amelia look around, we haven’t even made it to the bar and it’s starting to look like the hunger games in here,” she says, grinning.
I slowly take in the ambiance of the party, feeling much smaller and cozier than I had imagined for a warehouse, and then one by one begin to notice the men looking at me. A lot of men. Holy shit this is uncomfortable, I must look naked.
“Ok now I remember why I had to come tonight. Bodyguard reporting for duty. Amelia, this isn’t your first rodeo at a club, you did go to college in Miami and all. Stay close to us and let me know if anyone is making you feel uncomfortable,” Justin says as he surveys the room.
Justin is such a teddy bear and puts up with our girly brunches and at-home mani/pedi’s that I sometimes forget he’s a 6’2 tatted man who probably spends more time in the gym than at his actual job.
“Thanks Justin. I really appreciate you coming and keeping us safe.” I smile.
“Our fucking hero,” Nikki says as she bats her eyelashes at Justin. She may come off as a flake, but Nikki is one of the smartest women I know, and she is total mush for Justin. Her sass is just a front for the rest of the world.
“Ok, now let’s get some drinks and get those bad decisions taken care of crew. Quick selfie!” she says as us three gather close and smile in front of the neon sign that glared BAD DECISIONS NIGHT.
7
Amelia
Hell must have frozen over,because I am actually having a good time. I’m smiling and laughing like I haven’t in what feels like a century. I feel lighter as I dance with Nikki and Justin, and not only because I’ve consumed three drinks in a short time span.
Even though I feel like I’m dressed as a porno disco ball, the men at this party have been surprisingly respectful, and actually seem nervous to approach me.
Me.
I even struck up flirtatious conversation with someone while in line for the porta potty.
I know, real romantic.
Tonight has turned out to be exactly what I needed. I now understand what Nikki meant about me getting my groove back. After so much loss and devastation this year, I feel like I completely forgot how to function in society. My world came crashing down, but the rest of the world kept moving forward, making me feel like I lost my place in it. But tonight, I’ve been able to finally jump back in a little, even if it means dancing to 2000’s throwback music and drinking too much tequila.
“You’re totally having fun! Don’t lie to me. Let’s take another pic!” Nikki yells into my ear. Followed by her planting a big smooch on my cheek that forces me to close my eyes while laughing. I’m sure that one won’t be pretty, but none of my family follows Nikki, so I’ll be saved from embarrassment once she inevitably posts it on her story.
“Yeah yeah, you were right. Bask in all your glory now because we’re probably going to be feeling this hangover for three days. Cheers to the newfound perks of turning 30 next month!” I say sarcastically. “Oh well, we’re already going to be hurting tomorrow, so screw it, next round’s on me!” I shout as I bolt into the crowd and off to the bar.
* * *
