“God, Stray, I’m so sorry. I never wanted this to happen. I feel like the worst person ever. This is all my fault.” The words flowed in a gush of sorrow and remorse.
I approached his bedside, wary of getting too close and doing something to hurt him. He gave up on getting dressed, letting his pants fall to the floor. Holding a hand out to me, he pulled me closer.
“What are you talking about? Why would this be your fault?” His blue eyes searched me.
A sob lodged in my throat. I sucked in a shuddery breath. “Venom hurt you because of me. I asked them to find a way to keep you away from me. It was stupid, and I wish I could take it back. I tried to tell Noah that I changed my mind. That I wanted them to stay out of it. He wouldn’t listen. I don’t know why I did it. I felt desperate and afraid. I’m an idiot.”
Stray’s face paled as I talked, making his bruises stand out in stark contrast. “You asked Venom to keep me away from you?Why would you do that, Codie? Am I really that much of a piece of shit that you had to get them involved?”
“No. I screwed up. I knew it the second I said anything to Noah that I’d made a mistake. I was scared, Stray. You make me feel these things that I don’t understand. I think I was starting to fall for you. It’s no excuse, but it made me a little crazy. I’m afraid of what you make me feel. I’m so sorry.” I wanted to repeat those last three words over and over. Knowing it wouldn’t make a difference, I held them inside.
Stray immediately released my hand. He rubbed his forehead, wincing in pain. “I can’t believe you would do that. I know I’m not the easiest guy to like. Maybe I deserve this for blackmailing you.”
I vigorously shook my head, making my ponytail bounce. “No, of course not. You didn’t deserve to get hurt like this. They could have killed you, and I will never forgive myself for that. I don’t blame you if you never forgive me for this.”
My heart shattered into pieces when he said, “I think you should go.”
Unable to bring himself to look at me any longer, Stray stared at the floor. At the pants he’d given up on wearing. I wanted to beg and plead for forgiveness. Not that it would matter. I’d broken his trust. I’d betrayed him by going to Venom.
Fighting back tears, I turned and left the room.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CODIE
The next week went by in a haze. According to Storm, Stray left the hospital that same night. He missed a few days of classes but was back later in the week. I saw him around a few times. He never even acknowledged my existence.
Who could blame him? I’d betrayed him. I’d wanted him to leave me alone, and my wish had been granted. Only now I was forced to realize that I didn’t really want that after all. I wanted Stray.
I wanted his flirtatious grins and his goofball remarks. I wanted his dark side that came out when we were alone. I wanted all of it.
Now it was too late. I had nothing.
I did my best to push through each day. Attending class diligently, working on my studies. Every time I hung out with the girls, I was dying to ask Storm about Stray. She seemed to know how much it would hurt because she never brought him up.
When almost two weeks had passed since the accident, I found myself yearning for him even more. Shouldn’t that feeling be fading by now? Did he ever think about me too?
I was on my way to meet the girls for lunch outside when I passed Stray in the hall. He was with Dominik. They were exiting a classroom. For a split-second our eyes met. When he saw me,he quickly averted his gaze, but not before I saw the dismay and sorrow within his eyes. He was looking better. Most of his injuries had healed.
Knowing better than to try to talk to him when he was with someone else, I kept moving. I felt his stare following me as I got farther away. When I found the girls sitting outside at one of the picnic tables, I barely had an appetite anymore. Eating and sleeping had been a struggle since the night Stray told me to leave the hospital.
Storm waited for me to take a seat across from her before gushing, “Have you heard? The Kings grabbed Damon last night. They broke his arm in three places. Rebel said it was a warning. I’m pretty nervous. I’m afraid of how this all will end.”
It didn’t surprise me that the Kings had made a move against Venom. That’s kind of how this whole crime business worked, wasn’t it? One group made a move against another. Retaliation was the expected response. Damon was lucky that’s all they’d done to him.
“I didn’t hear anything. I’m out of the loop now other than what you tell me.” I stared down at the sandwich I brought from home. Not really feeling it, I forced myself to take a few bites of a protein bar instead.
Each bite felt grainy and thick in my mouth. Hard to swallow. My stomach didn’t want any of it. All I wanted to do was hide out in my bed until this was over. Until I felt like myself again.
“You still haven’t heard from him?” Luna asked, her face crumbling into a sympathetic frown.
I shook my head. “I don’t expect to hear from him. He hates me now and rightfully so. I fucked everything up.”
“You made a mistake. It’s not like Stray hasn’t made mistakes before. He’s not perfect either. I’m sure he’ll come around and get his head out of his ass.” Pulling out a container ofhomemade cookies, Storm held one out to me. “My mom made her famous chocolate chip cookies. I know it doesn’t solve your problem, but it might make you feel better for thirty seconds.”
With a small smile, I accepted a cookie. My friends had been going over and above to make me feel better. Sadly, there was nothing they could do. Only time would heal this wound. Even then, I expected it to leave an ugly scar.
“I guess you probably don’t want to go to the graveyard party this weekend,” Ripley said, peeling a banana. “We can do something else. Maybe a dance club or even a night in.”
