“You’ve got a real attitude with me today. Funny how the more I make you come the nastier you are. I’d assume that kind of thing would make you nicer to be around.”
I pressed my lips tight together. Nope. Not responding. Nothing good would come of any conversation we might have.
When I continued to ignore him, Stray grabbed me by the arm and spun me around before pasting me against the side of his car. Forced to meet his piercing blue stare, I felt my resolve begin to crumble.
“You know, Codie, I’m really starting to get tired of this shit. The more you hate yourself, the more you take it out on me. I get that you have some big feelings about all this, but it’s time for you to get over yourself.” Stray caught my chin in his hand, forcing me to stare deep into him. “I know you want me, strawberry, and I know you hate yourself for that. It doesn’t have to be that way. We are fucking perfect together.”
“You’re delusional. We are not perfect, and we are not together. Anything that’s happened between us is because you’ve forced me into it. Did you forget that part?” I tried to jerk my chin from his grasp. Not that it mattered. He was pinning me to the car with his body.
Feeling him pressed against me flashed me back to having him on top of me. Holding me down with his weight while he drove into me with his cock over and over. Heat raced through me. I began to grow wet at the memory.
Stray was the best high I’d ever known. A drug that I’d started to crave. I didn’t know how to quit someone like him. I wasn’t sure it was even possible.
“You wanted it. You were looking for it. And you found me. If it wasn’t me, it would be someone else. Someone who might not care about your safety. Someone who may be happy to kill you to get their rocks off. I fucking saved you, Codie. One day you’ll see that.”
Stray’s kiss was sudden and possessive. His mouth moved on mine with fierce determination. A bruising pressure that only made the throb between my legs grow. I couldn’t stop myself from kissing him back. Like a constant war between us, I needed to battle him. To fight his tongue with my own. To stand my ground.
Finally, I managed to break off the kiss. My chest heaved. “I told you this was over. I meant it. We have to stop. I don’t trust you, Stray, and I don’t trust what you do to me.”
Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. His face lit up with satisfaction.
“Because you fucking love it. Why can’t you admit it? At least admit it to yourself. I’m not letting you go so you can seek out a sick thrill with a stranger. I’m going to show you why I’m the one.” Pressing his thigh between my legs, Stray rubbed my clit through my pants.
A whimper bubbled up in my throat. I fought to hold it back, not wanting him to know how much power he had over me. I suspected it might be too late for that.
“What if I don’t want you to be the one?” My words were breathy, almost a whisper. “How far is this supposed to go before there’s no getting out? What do you really want from me, Stray? Haven’t you had enough?”
A swell of emotion made it hard to breathe. I’d done everything I could to keep myself from feeling anything for him other than disdain. Every time I was with him, I realized that I had no control over that anymore. Maybe I never had to begin with.
“Fuck no,” he murmured, his lips brushing against mine. He pressed several tender kisses to my lips, dragging me deeper into the mind fuck that was him. “I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you. You really have no idea what you do to me, do you? I’m putting a lot on the line here. You’re not the only onetaking a risk. It’s too late to turn back now. We’re in too deep. Don’t you want to know where this will take us?”
Emotion lodged in my throat, making it hard to speak. I shook my head, forcing the words out. “I don’t think I can afford to find out.”
Stray ran a hand down the side of my face. “What are you so afraid of? That you might actually be happy? Why does it scare you so much to have found someone able to get on your level? To give you everything you want?”
Why did he have to be so goddamn insightful? He was right. He matched my crazy in every way so far. Stray didn’t treat me like a freak for having such dark fantasies. He’d been more than happy to bring them to life. In some ways, he seemed to enjoy it more than I did. There was no doubt that I enjoyed it. For some reason that made me feel even more like I needed to make it stop.
“It’s not healthy. I don’t think this is good for either of us. We had some fun. Now it needs to stop. If we keep going like this, we’ll keep trying to outdo ourselves. Everything might spiral out of control. Someone could get hurt.” By someone I obviously meant me. I made it sound physical, yet that’s not what I really meant.
Stray was far too fucking intelligent for his own good. He nodded knowingly. “You’re willing to risk your safety for the rush, but you don’t want to get your heart involved. I get it. I didn’t sign on for that either.”
“Good. Then we understand each other. We can go our separate ways now.” I didn’t want to say these things.
There was this nagging feeling that I couldn’t shake. The certainty that this was for the best. Denying myself everything I felt when I was with this man was what I had to do. Otherwise, I would get in too deep, and I would never escape him.
Stray shook his head, his expression more intense than I’d ever seen it. “Not happening. We’ve barely gotten started. I have so many plans for you. Our best friends are getting married. Like it or not, I’m in your life now. Why make it more difficult than it needs to be?”
“Exactly,” I said, shoving his leg away from where it pressed against me. “You’re making this all much more difficult than it needs to be. I don’t want to be a bitch, Stray, but you’re pushing me too far. Leave me alone.”
Because I needed to back up my words, I shoved against him, doing my best to get away. He easily held me in place, making me struggle for freedom. I knew that if I didn’t get away from him right now, I would give in and do anything he wanted. The real battle was with myself. I didn’t want to let myself believe I could be happy with a man like Stray. He was everything I’d never wanted. Being with him made me question everything I knew about myself.
“What’s going on here?”
Noah stood next to the car, eyeing us both up. I froze. Nothing good would happen now.
“That’s none of your fucking business. Move the fuck on.” Stray nodded for Noah to keep walking.
Turning to me, Noah asked, “Do you need help? Maybe I’m reading the situation wrong, but it looks like this jackass is holding you against your will.”
