13
ZOYA
The pharmacy clerk doesn't look at me twice when I place the test on the counter. Just another transaction, another customer buying hope or fear in a small cardboard box. I pay with crumpled bills and stuff the purchase into my purse, my hands shaking.
The walk home feels endless. Every step echoes in my ears, every breath tastes sharp in the cold air. I replay the evening at the lake house over and over. The way Maksim looked at me when he talked about building a life together. The way he said he'd never felt this way before.
Marriage. He wants to announce our engagement.
My stomach churns, and I press my hand against it, wondering if this is morning sickness or pure terror. I know it's almost impossible at twelve days to get a positive test, but it's not unheard of.
Inside my apartment, I lock the door and lean against it, breathing hard. The test feels heavy in my purse, heavier than anything so small should be. I know what it's going to say. I've known since I threw up at the lake house, since the wine tasted wrong, since I've been exhausted for days.
I'm pregnant.
The bathroom is tiny, barely room for one person. I sit on the edge of the bathtub and read the instructions three times, though I already know what to do. The minutes crawl by while I wait for the result.
Two lines appear, so faint I almost don't believe it, so I take a second test only to totally panic. I drop the test and cover my face with my hands. The tears come fast and hard, shaking my whole body. This can't be happening. Not now. Not when everything is already so complicated.
I pick up the test again, staring at those two pink lines like they might disappear if I look hard enough. But they don't. They're real. This is real.
I'm carrying Maksim Vetrov's child.
The man who wants to marry me. The man who's probably hunting my brother. The man who makes me feel safe and terrified at the same time.
I slide down to the bathroom floor and pull my knees to my chest. The tiles are cold against my back, but I don't care. I need to think. I need to figure out what this means, what I'm going to do.
Maksim talked about trust tonight. About building a life together. About wanting to protect me. But what happens when he finds out about this? What happens when he realizes I'm not just some woman he can control but also a woman carrying his child?
The thought of telling him makes my chest tight. He'll want to own me completely then. He'll never let me go. And Damir... God, Damir will be furious. He'll think I've betrayed him completely.
But maybe that's not entirely wrong. Maybe I have.
I think about the way Maksim kissed my forehead when he walked me to my door tonight. Soft, almost reverent. Like I was precious. Like I mattered.
No one has ever looked at me the way he does. No one has ever made me feel wanted instead of just useful.
I hate myself for wanting him. I hate myself for the way my heart races when he touches me. I hate myself for the way I almost kissed him by the lake, for the way I wanted to.
But I do want him. Despite everything, despite the danger, despite the lies I'm sure he's telling me.
I stand up and splash cold water on my face. In the mirror, I look pale, hollow-eyed. Like a ghost of myself.
I need to tell him. I need to tell him about the baby, about Damir, about everything. But the thought of his reaction terrifies me. What if he doesn't want this? What if he does want it but for all the wrong reasons?
I think about what he said about the announcement. About making our engagement public. If I'm pregnant, that changes everything. It makes the marriage real in a way that goes beyond strategy or convenience.
It makes us a family.
The word feels foreign in my mouth. Family. I haven't had a real family since my father disappeared. Damir tried, but we were just two damaged people trying to survive. This would be different. This would be a choice.
I walk to my bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed. The pregnancy test is still in my hand, those two lines staring up at me.
Maybe I can use this. Maybe I can ask Maksim to stop hunting Damir. Maybe I can protect my brother by giving Maksim something else to focus on. A wife. A child. A future that doesn't involve violence.
The idea feels dangerous and desperate, but it's the only plan I have.
I think about the way Maksim talked about wanting a quieter life. About building a life with someone real. Maybe he meant it. Maybe this could be the thing that changes everything.
