One morning when Marshall was out for his run, I found Hayden by the pool.
I sat next to her. "Is everything okay?"
She lifted her head. "I'm just thinking about how everything is going to change soon."
"It's been nice to be here this summer. I'm not looking forward to going back to Jacksonville." It was still Florida but so far away from Sanibel. I could drive to the beach, but it wasn’t as close. I'd fallen in love with the slower pace of the island and the people.
"You must be excited to see your friends again." I remembered how important they were to her at the beginning of the summer.
She chewed her lip. "I'm worried that things have changed. They spent the whole summer together, and I wasn't there. What if they moved on?"
I remembered how teen-girl relationships could change quickly. "There's no way to know. But if they're good friends, they won't just disappear or drop you."
That was the issue with teen girls. How could you discern the good relationships from the bad? Sometimes it took breaks like this to highlight the differences. I hoped for Hayden's sake that they were good friends and didn't disappear because she'd spent the summer with her father.
"I don't know what's going to happen. I got wrapped up in things here and made new friends."
"You texted them less?" I asked gently.
"I was busy here, and what they were doing there felt farther away. Now that I'm going back, I'm worried I made a mistake."
"They should understand that you were busy when you were with your dad."
"I hope so."
"Are you excited about seeing your mother and your family in Naples?"
"It's not the same since my brothers were born. Everything revolves around them, and I understand why. They're younger and need their parents more."
"But it was nice to be the center of your father's attention this summer."
She smiled. "I was worried at first we wouldn't have anything to talk about."
"After all those letters you exchanged over the years?"
"But how well did I really know him? We didn't spend much time together."
"I can understand that. But how do you feel now?"
"I kind of want to stay. Is that crazy? My friends here all go to the same school, and it's smaller, but I already feel like I'm part of the community."
"You made a difference, but you can always spend your summers here and the school year with your mom. I don't think you can really make a decision until you go back." I'd come to this conclusion for myself too. Would I miss Marshall, or would I be able to move on and compartmentalize our relationship?
We were meant for the island, but once I left, everything would fall apart. Long distance wouldn't make sense for us. We existed only on the island. We built a sweet life for ourselves here. But that didn't translate to a reality where we worked on opposite sides of the state.
He had a daughter to visit in Naples. He wouldn't have time to deal with a long-distance girlfriend.
I wasn't so sure about my ability to maintain a relationship after what happened with Flynn. If I wasn't present, Marshall would probably quickly grow bored with my absence and move on. It was best if I cut ties now. I was protecting my heart. If I distanced myself, he couldn't hurt me. He wouldn't be the one to walk away.
"I miss Mom and my brothers. I almost feel guilty that I have two dads."
"You get along with your stepdad?"
"Yeah, he's great."
I nudged her shoulder with mine. "I'm happy for you. You have a large family that loves you."
"I even got to know my grandparents and uncles this summer."
