"Not really. My impression was that she's done her part, and it's my turn this summer. As much as I'd like to ask for advice, I kind of want to figure it out on my own."
"That's kind of nice actually."
We fell silent, listening to the waves and watching the stars. Fireflies came out as the sky darkened, and it felt like we were in our own little jar of lightning bugs.
"I kind of want to stay here forever," Saylor said.
"Maybe you can," I offered selfishly, not looking forward to her leaving at the end of summer. Everything felt lighter and easier with her here. She was helping me with Hayden more than she knew.
She gave me a look. "You know why I can't."
I hated thinking about the end of my time here. "I have to find a place to live, talk to my family about working for them again. I probably need to start my house search."
Saylor clasped her hands together. "Searching for houses is so fun."
"Have you done it before?" Maybe she had owned her apartment with her boyfriend. Or considered the next step of buying a place with him.
Her nose scrunched. "I watch it on TV. Those house-hunter shows are fun."
"I don't know what will be available here though. It's expensive since it's a tourist area. But I have some money saved. I basically only used it for Hayden the last thirteen years. I wanted to be financially secure so I could take care of her."
"That was smart."
"And I never owned a home. We move every two or three years, and it only makes sense if you live with your family."
"Have you thought about making any changes to Hayden's living situation with you and Billie?"
"I can see her more often throughout the year now. Maybe we should draw up a more formal agreement and discuss the possibility of joint custody." I never asked for any role over the years, other than to visit whenever I was able and unlimited phone and email access. That was mainly limited by my circumstances. "I saved the letters and emails she sent over the years. They serve as a journal."
"You could have them bound together for her. Her letters and your responses. It could be electronic or even published. How amazing would that be?"
A tingle ran through my body. I liked the idea of memorializing our relationship. It made it mean more somehow. All those letters. I did have a role as her father. I should celebrate it. "That would be kind of nice. I'll have to look into it."
Saylor smiled. "Your future is unwritten. You have so many possibilities."
"I guess you're right."
"You live on an island. How amazing is that? Your family owns a successful business that I'm sure you can work in again. Your daughter lives close enough to visit with a short drive. I'm excited for you."
When had anyone ever evaluated my life and said they were excited for me? Maybe my mother? But it had been a long time. Since I left, I'd cut myself off from everyone. I needed to mend those bridges and fast, before it was a permanent rift.
Saylor hit play on a song, turning the volume down so that it was soft background noise. Then she stood and offered her hand to me. "Would you like to dance?"
I couldn't think of anything else I'd rather do. I put my hand in hers. "Sure."
I stood, and she drew me into the space between the fire pit and the pool. I held her hand to my chest, my free one on her hip, and we swayed to the music.
I enjoyed the feel of her body pressed against mine, wondering if she could feel my heart racing.
I wanted so much more than a dance under the stars. I wanted to reconnect with Saylor, the girl I used to know, and get to know the one she was now. Would she welcome me into her life?
"This is nice. Thank you for being here." My heart was overflowing with gratitude for what my life had become. So far, leaving the military had been a good decision at a pivotal time in my daughter's life. But it happened to be the same summer that my ex returned to the island. Was there a reason for that, or was it merely a coincidence?
We both stopped moving, gazing into each other's eyes. Should I kiss her?
She licked her lips, and I moved my hand from her hip to the side of her face, and her cheek pressed into my palm.
It was the perfect time to kiss her. I lowered my lips to hers, wondering if she'd feel the same as she had before. Or if things would be different.
