42
Was he for real?
That wasn’t the issue here. It was basically the opposite of her problem.
His face hardened.
“Not want you? How could I not want you?” she blurted out, wanting that look on his face erased. “That isn’t the issue.”
“Then what is the issue?”
She took a breath. He was always going on about honesty, so she should give him some. “The issue is that I want that too much. Don’t you know that by now? I’m pretty sure that I haven’t hid it well. I want you so much it’s all I can do sometimes not to beg you to take pity on me. When I first met you, I could barely speak to you. Sometimes I still have trouble making my brain function when I look at you. And maybe if this was just a sexual thing, just a physical attraction, then perhaps I could do it. But it’s not. Because you’re offering me something that I have always wanted but never thought I would have the chance to experience, a Daddy . . . a Papa. My Little . . . God, all she wants is someone to take care of and protect her. She’s so . . . sensitive. But I can’t let her have you.”
“Why not?”
How did he not know? Why was he making her say this?
“Because if I do . . . when you leave you will shatter her . . . shatter me. You’ll take a piece of me with you and I might not ever recover. And I know that sounds overly dramatic. If I could do this without getting my emotions involved, I would. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to do that. I’m already in too deep, any further . . . it will cause me too much damage. And I’ve learned that the only person who will protect me is me.” Ever since that kiss, she’d been thinking about him kissing her again. It was almost obsessive and it wasn’t healthy.
“Are you forgetting who I am?”
“Uh, my bodyguard?”
“Your protector.” He placed his hand on her chest. “I protect you.”
“Physically.”
“In all ways,” he told her. “Emotionally, mentally, and physically.”
She shook her head. “That’s not your job.”
“It is now. I already told you that I’m the boss of you.”
“What has that got to do with anything?” she asked.
“Being the boss of you means all of you. Every piece. And being your boss means I guard all of you fiercely.”
She just stared at him in shock. She couldn’t let herself believe in what he was saying.
“I want to be yours, Bébé, in the same way that you’re mine. I want you to be my Little, my girl, my woman.Mon amour. Mon Coeur.”
Mon amour? His love?
Mon Coeur? She thought she knew that one. Heart? His heart?
Her own heart was beating rapidly and her mouth felt dry as she searched for the words she needed.
“You really want me?”
He frowned and leaned forward, moving his hands to her hips. “I don’t like how surprised you sound. Why wouldn’t I want you? You’re the most stunning, amazing woman I’ve met in my life. I’m just lucky that I don’t have to commit murder to get you.”
“M-murder?”
“Hmm, if someone else had found you first, I would have had to take them out. Because you’re meant to be mine and I’m yours.”
“Did you . . . did you hit your head last night? Inhale too much smoke?”
“Are you saying it would take a catastrophic injury for me to want you?” he asked incredulously.
