The kettle whistled, and she swiveled away from me, opening a cabinet to pull out a mug, then another for a box of tea. I watched her steep her tea bag, waiting for her attention before speaking again.
Steam rose from the mug as she lifted a brow. “It’s crazy, Salvatore.”
I nodded. “You’re probably right. On the outside, it looks like an insane decision. But we needed a home that fit better, and the one I found happened to be close to you. I don’t make decisions without thorough consideration. I wouldn’t have dragged my kids along with me if I hadn’t thought they’d be happy here, and they are. They love the house…and the neighbors.”
“Crazy,” she muttered.
“Maybe. But I stand by it. The other choices I made? I was wrong, and I’m sorry. I should have told you when I explained what had happened to Tia.”
“You should have,” she agreed.
Shewasn’t giving me an inch, and I needed a mile.
“But I didn’t,” I said, my voice low. “This is where I admit I was selfish. Greedy for more time with you. Bea, I’ve never had anything like this. You know I don’t connect with people easily, and I have neverwantedsomeone the way I want you.”
Her eyes shimmered, but she didn’t look away.
“This is what I wanted to talk to you about tonight. I wasn’t going to keep it from you any longer. You deserved to know and have the choice of whether to move forward with me. All my planning, and I can’t—” I swallowed hard around the truth I hated. “I can’t control your reaction. I can’t make you want to take a risk on me, knowing what I come with.”
She shook her head. “I told you I don’t want children.”
“I haven’t forgotten. I don’t expect you to be their mother. They had a great one, and between my dad and me, they have two parents.” I tucked my hands in my pockets. “We can take it slow. We can start over. It’s up to you now.”
Bea wrapped her fingers around her steaming mug, her eyes cast downward. Silence stretched tight between us.
“I can forgive you for beingAnthony,” she said finally, the words a sharp turn I hadn’t seen coming.
My head snapped up. “You… what?”
Her smile was faint, tired. “I figured it out last week. The app was on your phone, and then I saw you in the limo. I added everything up.”
“Ten p.m. soup,” I murmured. “You were fucking with me. On purpose.”
She held her fingers an inch apart. “A little bit.” Then she smacked her forehead. “Anthony. Your dad’s name is Tony. It was so obvious.”
“It’s my middle name too.” I shoved my fingers through my hair. “Christ. I have a lot to explain.”
“No kidding. I thoughtthatwas your big secret. I had already worked through it on my own and decided it was almost…sweet. You’ve done a lot for me. More than I know, probably. Though I’m still not sure why you’d want to.”
“That answer is simple. When we met, I was drawn to you because you made me feel good. I was at ease and able to be myself around you, which is more rare than I can put into words.”
I scoffed at my understatement. The way I’d felt around Bea from the start had been unprecedented. A revelation. Like I’d gone a lifetime as an alien crash-landed on earth and had finally met another being from my home planet.
I took a half step closer. “That changed, though. When I sent you the app, I didn’t know how addicted I would become to makingyoufeel good. I still want that, Beatrice. Ineedit.”
Her breath caught, and she closed her eyes. “I believe you.”
Hope flared, but it was premature.
“I don’t know if I can get past this,” she said. “This isn’t just about you and me anymore. You made me part of something without telling me what itwas.That wasn’t fair, and I don’t know if we can come back from this. Or if I want to.”
“Or if I want to.”
This wasn’t only about me omitting the truth. When it came down to it, I had kids, and Bea had chosen to be child-free.
“We’re at an impasse,” I said, trying to anchor myself to logic, “but I think we can find a way around it. If you’re willing.”
She didn’t speak, but her eyes stayed on mine. Still listening. Still here.
