Love.
She spun and spat. “No. And I'm sure your widows would be very interested to know that you had asked such a question, suggested such a possibility.”
She meant to drive as many roads, cities, countries, and yes, widows between them as she could because his nearness was the sort of heart-thumping perfection that dared her to do what she knew to be foolish.
His hands covered her shoulders, and he danced her against a wall. He stood towering over her, arms crossed over his chest.
She lifted her brows. “My, what a commanding stance. Are you happy to have your ability to cross your muscled arms over your chest so masterfully once more?”
He raised a single eyebrow.Damn him. “Your tone is mocking, Jane, but your use of the descriptors muscled and masterfully suggest you have other tones that sentence could take.”
She snorted.
“Such as appreciation.”
She waved her hand at his form. “Aesthetic appreciation only, I assure you.”
It was his turn to snort. “Lust.”
She opened her mouth to deny it.
“Do not deny it, Jane. I was there yesterday. You mauled me.”
“You mauled me.”
“We mauled each other. Quite happily until I mentioned making such mauling a perfectly legal and respectable affair. Though, perhaps a long engagement. In case my uncle’s improvement proves temporary. I must keep you safe, Jane.”
“If you wish to keep me safe, you will leave me alone.”
“Do you truly wish that? I’ll keep your heart safe, Jane, no matter what. It’s your body and mind I’m worried about. And yet…”
She shouldn’t ask. She shouldn’t press. She shouldn’t even want to know. “And yet?”
“It seems I’m willing to take a risk when it comes to you.”
“I no longer take risks. They do not turn out well, especially when they involve the heart. Ask my father. And Christiana. And, oh, everyone actually.”
“That’s not the Jane I know.”
“The Jane you know fell out of a tree, injuring you gravely and ruined her own reputation. Not in that order, of course. No. I’m done with daring behavior.”
“Shame.” He stroked his thumb over his chin, then dropped his hand to his side and shrugged. “I’ll bid you good day and prepare to return to London.”
“London? Now?” He was leaving so soon? She felt like she was cracking apart inside.
“I’m well enough to travel a long distance in a coach.” He turned and strolled toward the exit.
She ran after him. “Do not go yet.”
He looked over his shoulder at her. “And why should I stay?”
She searched her mind.Because I do not wish you towas not an answer she could give him, though it was the one she felt.
He turned back around. “Goodbye, Jane.”
He could not leave. She would not let him. One thing she could no longer deny—she was falling in love. And now, not giving into her heart seemed just as painful as giving into it. An impossible choice between different kinds of hurts. Her body made the decision for her.
She grabbed George’s arm and swung him around to face her. She tugged him to Apple’s stall and pulled them both inside, shutting the gate behind them. She pressed him against the wall, her hands fisting in his cravat.
