‘You’re not seeing it, are you?’
‘Because it’s not there!’
I swipe the photo away and Rox’s thunderous face returns. ‘Do you like the guy?’ Her voice is eerily low.
‘As much as I like any of them, yes.’
‘Aubrey.’
‘Fine, there’s a spark there, at least for me, and—’ Her mouth drops open. ‘Wait! And before you berate me for my post-break-up rules, there’s not one part of me that thinks it’s OK to lust after another man merely days after I was supposed to walk down the aisle. Besides, I love Miles. Or I did love Miles. I was going to marry him. Although… now I’ve found out he’s not quite the person I thought I loved. God, I’m so confused. Not hearing from Miles, either, it’s just – odd. Like, what if he’s having some kind of internal crisis and I’ve gone and hooked up with some guy on a train? How would he feel? Awful. I’d be breaking the promises I made.’
‘You’re not really considering Miles’s feelings on the matter, are you? He’s done a runner to avoid the heat and now you’re worrying he’s having an internal crisis? Come on!’
I understand Rox’s point of view, but still, what if there was a valid reason for Miles’s abrupt exit from my life? ‘After I spoke to best man Leo, I got to musing about the panic attack Miles apparently suffered, well it left me questioning everything. Shouldn’t I give him the benefit of the doubt, in case there’s more to it?’ Imagine if we do make up and in the interim I’ve hooked up with a six-foot-two sex god.
Rox’s mouth hangs open. It’s not like her to be lost for words. I wait for the barrage to come, because when she gets hold of herself?—
‘ARE YOU CRAZY?’
And… there it is.
I purse my lips before saying, ‘I know how it sounds and I’m not making excuses for him, but – and it’s a very big but – what if there is a reason? I can’t move on until I’ve heard from Miles, and even then, I’ll need time to?—’
‘Time to process it all, yeah, yeah. And in the meantime, Norse God walks off into the sunset with some other lucky girl. The only excuse he’d have not to call is if I ripped every one of his fingers off. Actually that’s not true because he could use voice activation to call even if he didn’t have fingers! Point proven, there’s no excuse for his silence.’
I shake my head at Rox’s very violent and befuddling reasoning. ‘It’s not as simple as all that, Rox, and you know it.’
‘Yet here we are, still waiting on missing groom Miles, and you giving him the benefit of the doubt here is mind boggling.’
We’re not going to agree while Rox is still so mad at Miles. ‘OK, Rox, so on that note…’
She lets out a sigh but her voice softens. ‘Fine. On that note, have fun, be safe, and think about what I said, won’t you?’
We say our goodbyes and I make a mental note to not send any more photos in such a willy nilly fashion, not if those photos contain Jasper, at any rate.
15
21 DECEMBER, HAMBURG, GERMANY
Over breakfast, there’s much chatter about our plans for the day. Princess invites everyone in the Unlucky in Love Travel Club to share her limo to explore Hamburg. As they talk, I swing my gaze from table to table, trying to work out which pair of lovebirds are on the rocks. For some inexplicable reason, I’m invested, having this urge to find out what is going wrong, and feeling a strange sense of hope that they can fix their relationship. I realise that I want to love to win, even if it’s not happening for me.
But at each table sit harmonious passengers, not a hint of discord among them. They’re making kissy faces. Or intensely gazing at each other. There’s much fondling of necks, backs, arms.
Our late-night chat in the library was fun but we didn’t get far into our investigations as we got sidetracked, talking about our own love lives or lack thereof. Katya and Igor are my prime suspects. They’re too polished. Too performative. It’s got to be them.
I lean close to Jasper to tell him my suspicions but am distracted by the scent of his cologne. It’s a spicy floral blend that’s somehow utterly masculine. I have a real thing with powerful colognes and what they evoke, which is somehow a little more X-rated when Jasper plays into the fantasy. Suddenly I have the strangest urge to sniff him. I’m sure that wouldn’t be appropriate, no matter how much I explain it’s not him I’m after, it’s the smell of his skin. Probably a little too Silence of the Lambs’y for the general population to feel comfortable with.
I’ve frozen in place as Jasper turns his head to mine, and his eyes widen at the fact that my face is only millimetres from his. ‘Hi.’ Oh, smooth, Aubrey. I gulp at my awkwardness. Why can’t I just behave normally? Instead when I’m flustered I become one of those close talkers, which is as sexy as hell. Not.
‘Hi.’
I stretch a smile over my teeth to highlight how relaxed I am. My lips are stuck to my gums. Attractive.
‘Ah, everything… OK?’
‘Yes, yes, fine, good, great.’ I press on and try to ignore how delectable he is. I mean, smells. When I’m in the vicinity of Jasper, the whole Miles fiasco pales in importance. Why is that? It doesn’t make sense to me, but I don’t have time to ponder it because Jasper is waiting for me to speak. ‘Ah – with my detective hat firmly pressed on, I’ve come to a conclusion. Katya and Igor act a certain way; they’re used to being camera ready at all times. Could it be all smoke and mirrors? I’m sure they’re the couple who have split but continue to play their parts because what else can they do when they’re stuck together like this?’
Just as the words leave my mouth, there’s a commotion behind us.
