I blithely ignore her terrible advice. ‘I’m quite sure I do. In fact, I’ve already erected a sign that reads: Closed for maintenance. There’s no man on this entire planet that… that…’ I lose my train of thought as my turncoat mind pictures Jasper. The intensity of his bluey-green eyes, the way he holds my gaze, almost hypnotising me.
There’s a sharp intake of breath from Rox. ‘Oh my God, you have already met someone! Who is he?’ Her beady eye is up to the camera, terrifyingly close. It’s an intimidation tactic, but I’m well aware of it and it affects me not. ‘Aubrey, who is he?’
I’m not having this conversation. ‘There’s no one.’
‘Don’t you lie to me or I’ll be at the next platform waiting to board the Winter Wonderland Express.’
OK, that threat I take seriously, because she will act on it. ‘Fine, you’re impossible, you know that? There’s this one guy, Jasper. He’s hot, smouldering and it’s all very superficial of me. There’s nothing in it.’
‘The perfect holiday fling with a side of rebound – hot and smouldering! It’s like Cupid has set down the perfect snack for you.’
‘Snack? He’s definitely not fun sized.’
She makes a bawdy sound. ‘Even better!’
‘Rox!’
‘There’s hope yet.’
‘Fine, can you let it go for now please?’
‘I cannot. I’ll need a pic of him. Today. Full name, stats. I’ll do a deep dive for you. A quick rummage on the dark web. Make sure he’s all good.’
‘Sure, sure. I’ll send you his details,’ I lie. The dark web? My sister scares the life out of me at times.
‘Now, just going back to the boring bit for a moment. Have you heard from Miles yet? Let me guess, that snivelling bottom feeder?—’
I close my eyes and wish the bed would swallow me whole. ‘No, not a call or a text. Nothing.’
‘Give me ten minutes.’
‘Wait!’ Too late, she’s already gone.
I should’ve seen that coming; instead, I got lulled into a false sense of security that my sister was offering her skills as a listening ear, not an avenger. And that’s on me; I should know better by now. While I wait for the inevitable, I shower and dress for the day.
As I’m drying my hair, my phone bleats and I take a deep breath. Incoming video call from Rox. For a moment my vision blurs as I prepare for what I might be met with.
Rox with Miles in a headlock. Rox with…
I swipe the screen. ‘Hello.’
Rox has her face so close to the camera all I see is her eyeball. ‘He’s gone.’
Dead? My stomach clenches. She’s killed him for real this time. ‘What! Ah, gone as in…?’
‘Worst man Leo can answer that.’ Another face comes into view. It’s Miles’s flat mate and best man Leo, wearing PJs and an abject look of pity with a hefty dose of fear in his eyes, probably due to Rox’s impromptu visit.
‘Hey, Aubrey.’ His face contorts as if he’s actually in pain. Poor guy. Out of all of Miles’s friends, Leo is the only one I ever really liked. The others behave as if they stopped maturing back in high school.
I can’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for the guy, being wrenched out of bed and forced to face us because Miles is in incognito mode. ‘Hi, Leo. I’m sorry you’re stuck in the middle of all of this.’
He hides a yawn behind his hand. ‘You’re not the one who needs to apologise. I’m really sorry to have to tell you, Aubrey. Miles is still in a right state. He… he…’
‘It’s not a bloody Michael Jackson song,’ Rox rebukes Leo. ‘He he… what? Where the hell is he and why doesn’t he have the decency to apologise to my sister after what he did? I should have bloody well killed him.’
‘Rox!’ I’d hazard a guess there’s a direct link to my sister’s lack of people skills and my need to live elsewhere in the world. Captain Chaos means well, but it’s a lot to manage at times. ‘Let him speak.’
‘Well, speak!’
