‘Good idea,’ agrees Princess. ‘After dinner we’ll move to the comfort of the library carriage where we can unpick this mystery without all these extra ears.’ She lifts a regal brow.
9
18 DECEMBER, PARIS, FRANCE
In the library we sit at one of the bigger tables. The space has a dark academia aesthetic – the stuff dreams are made of. Having lived nomadically most of my adult life and even after staying put in Kent for a year and a half, my possessions are still rudimentary, basics that fit in a rucksack, but that doesn’t stop me from wishing I had a library like this. Leatherbound books line dark shelves. All the classics are here, from Emily Brontë’sWuthering Heightsto Jack London’sCall of the Wild. Navy-blue wingback chairs sit awaiting guests to sink into. All it’s missing is a fireplace and then I’d truly never leave.
‘This gives “Professor Plum in the library with a wrench” vibes and I’m here for it,’ CJ says with a grin. ‘My kids love that game.’
‘I love it too,’ I say. ‘It’s a classic.’
Jasper arrives a few minutes later, having escaped to his cabin to take a work call in private. And there’s one seat left, next to me, and I realise that’s only because Princess has orchestrated it that way.
From his coat he takes a bottle of red wine. ‘Sabrina insisted I smuggle this in – it’s one of the fancier varieties apparently. She’ll be along with fresh wine glasses very soon.’
I’m not sure why we need fresh glasses since Sabrina mixes the wine varieties anyway, but it’s nice of her to think of us.
Jasper flashes me a grin, and boy oh boy, what a smile. Looking at this god of a man is like staring at the sun.
‘I’ – I momentarily lose my train of thought – ‘enjoy drinking wine.’ Kill me.
‘Ah.’ His brow furrows slightly as if he’s confused. And I get that. ‘Great to hear.’
Princess stands up and claps for attention. ‘Welcome, one and all, to the very first meeting of the Unlucky in Love Travel Club destination: the Arctic Circle. Now, let’s get down to business. First up, who do we suspect might just be about to become a member of our club? And secondly, should we stage an intervention and help them stay together?’
The group confers. Jasper leans so close I lose the ability to form rational thought. Why does he smell so good and why does it send my brain haywire? The decision is seemingly made, without any input from me, because I cannot compute words when Jasper’s a mere whisper away.
Karen says, ‘An intervention would be best, if we can do it subtly and try to help them on the sly. It’s all dependant on who the couple is.’
‘Agreed.’ Princess nods.
‘It’s got to be that beautiful French lady – what’s her name? Madame Delacroix, I think? The one who’s married but is holidaying with another man who is thirty years her junior? Never fear, it’s all above board, she’s in an open marriage I believe,’ Barry says. How does he know about that? ‘I had a drink with the lad himself at the welcome party. A gentleman should never kiss and tell, but this lad was rather loose with the details, so much so that it all felt rather desperate.’
‘Really?’ I ask. ‘Desperate how?’
Barry clears his throat as colour creeps up his neck. ‘Well, he mentioned how long they’d been together – only a few months – and that he’d fallen hopelessly in love but that her attentions were slipping. He alluded to the fact that her petite affaires usually had a time limit and that meant he wouldn’t be flavour of the month for much longer, despite his feelings for her.’
‘Absolutely scandalous!’ Princess says, eyes twinkling as if she’s loving the inside scoop. ‘Although I do love a woman who takes charge and knows what she wants from a lover, before ditching him for the next hero in her story.’
‘But he’s in love!’ CJ cries. ‘Maybe he’ll be that special sort of someone who shows her what real commitment is all about and they’ll live happily ever after… with her husband… Ah, maybe not. I don’t profess to know much about open marriages.’
Barry presses his lips together and nods. ‘He asked me what the best course of action is to woo the lovely lady. I suggested he shower her with affection, so she has no doubt about his feelings. You know, be there for her every minute of every day, write her love letters and leave them under her pillow, kiss her awake, read her poetry, open doors, close doors, the lot.’
I wrinkle my nose and face Barry. ‘Wouldn’t that be… a little suffocating?’ While it might sound romantic on paper, that kind of constant attention would stifle me. ‘A bit like love bombing, in a way?’
‘Suffocating?’ Barry reels as if I’ve slapped him. ‘Love bombing? Why is that such an issue these days? My last girlfriend accused me of being overbearing, after I left her a number of voicemails over the course of a Friday. It was meant to be sweet – I simply called her when she popped into my thoughts but apparently it was too much.’
‘How many voicemails did you leave?’ I ask, intrigued.
‘Twenty-one… but we were newly in love, or so I thought.’ Sadness flashes across his features as he dips his head.
‘Barry’s right,’ Princess pipes up. ‘That’s romantic, a man showing up like that, being vulnerable, making his intentions and feelings clear – maybe it’s an age thing, me being sixty and all and Barry a touch older perhaps.’ Princess remains poker-faced, even though she’s already admitted to me she’s seventy-five. I let it slide, the crafty minx. ‘I simply don’t understand this love bombing nonsense. Or that a man can be judged so harshly for calling twenty-one times. It’s sweet.’
Karen grimaces. ‘Barry’s intentions may be pure, but love bombers flip the switch from love to hate, so it’s a bit different to Barry’s scenario. Although, honestly, I’d still run a mile too if a man called me twenty-one times. Sorry, not sorry, Barry.’ The Australian shrugs good-naturedly. ‘In saying that, I can’t get past the first date, so there’s no chance of that happening to me, but I digress…’
I shake my head to clear it. How quickly our little mystery-solving turned the magnifying glass on our own shortcomings in love. Are they shortcomings though, or are we collectively making mistakes over and again in our quests for love?
So far, Princess won’t risk dating due to being cursed by a jealous rival. Barry loves his partners almost too much. Karen’s ick list stops her from getting past the first date. CJ won’t settle for a man unless he’s a K-Pop fan. Jasper’s job keeps him away from home and causes issues. What about me?
