‘Iconic,’ Roxy says. ‘Teach me your ways, Floretta!’
‘It’s simple, darling. My top fashion tip is: live to be a hundred and never, ever cull your wardrobe. Take it from me, fashion moves in cycles so it’s simply a matter of time until each piece is in vogue again. This little number is from the Nineties, but you’d never know. Has served me well too. I got married in this to … what was his name?’
‘Jimmy?’
‘After Jimmy.’
‘Ludwig?’
‘No, I wore a gold lamé pantsuit to that wedding.’
‘Husband seven?’
She clicks her fingers. ‘Yes! How could I forget, husband seven Irish Sean. Ruggedly handsome and a fan of the craic. That accent, swoon. I sure do miss him.’
‘What happened to him?’ Roxy asks.
Gran gives a casual shrug. ‘One drizzly night he slipped on a pile of wet shamrock and took a tumble, knocking the sense right out of that noggin of his, breaking a limb or two in the process.Oh to be sure, to be surehe would have survived the fall had it not been for an unseasonable drop in overnight temperature. By the time they found my dear old love nugget, he was frozen solid, his mouth stuck open in a perpetual scream. Frightful stuff. Turns out Sean didnothave the luck of the Irish.’
Roxy’s expression is caught between fascination and fear. ‘Oh. My. God.’
‘Yes,’ Gran says, fixing her caftan in place. ‘Shocking. But since he was already an ice block I researched a few cryogenic facilities around the world. Sadly the costs were a little too exorbitant. And more importantly would hebethe same man upon reanimation? No one could assure me of anything, so in the end, he was taken to defrost ahead of burial. Shame, that man was a firecracker in bed.’
Roxy shakes her head, her eyes wide like she’s in awe.
‘You have had thecoolestlife!’
‘Well, Sean’s was probably cooler in the end.’ Gran bursts out laughing at her own joke.
‘Gran!’ A guy died! Roxy, you’re acting as if Gran’s telling you the plot to a movie or something.’
‘Sorry!’ Gran says. ‘I can be shameless at times.’
Roxy dips her contrite head. ‘I’m sorry too, but to be fair it does seem like a movie plot – that’s why it’s so fascinating.’
‘Wait …’ I count back in my head. ‘Wasn’tZhangChen husband number seven? Zhang who met his untimely death taking a selfie and fell backwards into a crevasse because his belay wasn’t clipped in? You gave up ice climbing after that, Gran.’
‘Can’t get anything past my clever granddaughter. Yes, I had two husband number sevens.’ Gran grins. ‘Who doesn’t love a bit of bigamy, darling? Everyone should try it at least once.’
‘Isn’t itillegal?’ I ask, and let’s not even start on it from a moralistic standpoint.
‘Illegal schmegal. They’re both in a better place now, so what does it matter?’
I narrow my eyes.Twofrozen husband number sevens. What are the chances?
‘I need to be more like you, Floretta,’ Roxy says, mouth agape. ‘After the party is over can we have lunch, and you teach me how to find a husband? I don’t need two at once; one would do.’
‘Sure, sweetheart, I’d love to.’
‘I’m not sure how I feel about this?’ Will I lose Roxy to the dark side? Gran will probably suggest all manner of untoward things and my Greek pal has a penchant for the extreme just like her.
‘Don’t be such a stick in the mud, darling. You should be thanking me too for orchestrating your hook-up.’
‘Orchestrating what hook-up?’ Roxy asks. ‘What have I missed? Is there another man on the go? Gah, you have all the luck, Evie. Georgios, Donkey Man and now this other mystery prospect.’
‘There’s no other man! I’m a big fan of monogamy I’ll have you know. Oh look is that Georgios now?’ I shoot Gran a look that conveys she better keep her trap shut. That was a serious lapse from her. Imagine if our cunning plan to get Georgios and his family on-side got out. The little village wouldn’t take too kindly to us using manipulation tactics. ‘Oops, false alarm it’s not him. On that note, shall we begin the festivities? Lucy is expected to make a grand entrance at just after eight so we better be ready.’
‘Let’s check everything is ready to go,’ Gran says and mouths asorryto me when Roxy’s back is turned.
