‘So youwillthrow her off the cliff if need be?’
‘Just wink and it shall be done.’
We fall about laughing, because obviously committing murder is a step too far but it’s nice to know she’s on Team Evie. ‘What’s really the matter? Has she got her sights on Georgios or something? Because if so I will fling her off by her hair, and he will be right behind her.’ Gran really can’t stand cheaters, but is it cheating when it’s fake? There are no instructions for this kind of anguish.
‘I guess it’s more that I feel out of my depth with this whole thing. There I’ll be hiding behind a curtain hoping that no one can see my ballet flats peeking out, and she’ll be full of verve and charm and everyone including Georgios will be smitten because who wouldn’t prefer a woman who can talkandmake eye contact at the same time without having a conniption?’
‘Well it’s only you who thinks like that, my precious Evie. I personally love the way you know your own limits and go invisible when you need a break from people. Simultaneously talking and making eye contact is massively overrated.’ She sits beside me. ‘You listen more than you talk and there’s a lot to be said for a person who takes the time to do that rather than waiting for a break in conversation just to get their point across. Don’t you think that maybe you’re special because of all these things? That you’re more, because you have boundaries, and you stick to them for the sake of your mental health and happiness? If only I could convince you that you’re perfect just the way you are.’
I lean my head on her shoulder. ‘Aww, Gran thank you. I guess this anxiety is a culmination of all the things that usually terrify me, happening all at once. I’ll be OK. Once it’s over.’ Posy pops into my mind, along with Mom’s admission about Posy not being as self-assured as I always presumed. That even she battles with confidence issues every time she gets up on stage. Maybe what I’m feeling is normal? Maybe everyone feels this sort of anxiety to a degree but some people just hide it better? It’s food for thought.
She nods. ‘Do your best, darling. I don’t care a jot about anything else in the world bar you. Maybe we need a code word if you want to escape for a bit.’
‘A code word?’
‘Yeah why not? Like a safe word. Then I’ll know you need some space and I can take the reins.’
‘OK, how about banana?’
‘Banana? Why banana?’
‘Why not?’
She laughs. ‘OK banana it is. Any drama and you just say the word.’
‘Perfect. Shall I take you through the running sheet?’
‘Before we do that I want to thank you, Evie. Thank you for facing your fears and organising all of this for me. Lately, I don’t know if it’s old age or stress, but I’ve found the simplest things a chore. I’d worried that for the first time ever, I might have taken too much on but you’ve stepped up and pulled it all together.’
It pains me to think of Gran suffering in any way and doubting herself like this. ‘You’ve had a lot going on, so you’re bound to be a bit over it all. I worry how you’ll cope when I’m gone though. Who’ll help you in the bookshop? And at Epeolatry if Konstantine continues working?’ Or whatever the heck he’s really doing …?
She shrugs. ‘I’ll hire a part-time employee or two. They’ll have to love books the way we do. Otherwise nope.’
Where will we find a bookworm who lives and breathes books the same as us? Ah! ‘What about Roxy? She’s perfect. She’s made Santorini home again … She’s starting her own PR firm but only part-time; maybe she’d like to do some days here too.’
‘Yes! She’s a riot. Let’s ask her.’
Having Roxy work at Bibliotherapy will ease my mind. Not only will she be fabulous in the role of bookseller, she can also keep an eye on Gran, relaying news back in case she does ever need any extra help. Although, I just can’t see my formidable Gran ever being reliant on us somehow.
‘And what’s happening with the Greek god? Any developments? Babies on the way, that kind of thing?’
‘Gran!’ I gasp. ‘You’re incorrigible!’ Babies on the way! In what realm is she living?
‘Thanks.’
I shake my head. ‘In all honesty, he’s been easy to fake-date. Too easy. I keep getting confused, like I don’t know what’s real and what I’m faking. What if I’ve developed some real feelings for the guy? Doesn’t that make it super awkward?’
‘What? No. Doesn’t that make iteasier?’
‘Not really. I get the feeling this is just a holiday fling for him. A way to pass the time. He’s commitment-phobic, or relationship-shy.’
There’s always that small part of me that thinks this is all too convenient. Like I can’t fully trust in him. Perhaps it’s because I’m the one being duplicitous?
‘Did he say that?’
‘Not in so many words, but the understanding was there.’
‘Or are you looking for ways to avoid commitment yourself?’
