Hey, Mom. I’m no longer a romance book scout at Hollywood Films. E xoxo
As I’m carting my lucky bamboo (perhaps I didn’t talk to it enough?) from the building my phone pings.
Darling, sorry to hear this! I’m working away on a case but I’ll be home tomorrow. We can video-chat then. Chin up. Love Mom xoxo
I’ll drown my sorrows with an espresso Frappuccino that will keep me awake all night so I can count the ways I’ve failed. And when Mom’s home tomorrow I’ll video-call my support team; that’s what I’ll do. Mom’ll smother me in love and sympathy knowing this is just a blip … and Posy will highlight my flaws and tell me just where I went wrong.
Chapter 2
The next day a grainy orangey blur appears on screen, like the surface of Venus. Mom’s holding the phone to her ear even though it’s a video call. Honestly, the woman never learns. Still, I press on and tell them the latest in the Chronicles of Evie.
‘Fired!’ my sister Posy screeches. ‘Did you pretend to be invisible again? I’ve told you a billion times they assume that you’reshirkingwhen you behave like that.’
Talk about exaggeration. ‘Abilliontimes, Posy? Be real.’
So, I’ve found it hard to assimilate in new environments. Mostly because I don’t like the whole talking around the watercooler thing. I avoid people, which in a work setting can be misconstrued.You’re not a team player, Evie.Why can’t I work in a team of one? It’s a lot more efficient for starters.
‘Mom, hold the phone in front of your face for crying out loud. If you can’t see us, we can’t see you!’ Posy admonishes from behind her laptop. We’ve clashed since childhood because Posy is bossy and opinionated, but I don’t take it personally; she’s just one of those larger-than-life types, whereas I’d much rather hide in the shadows.
I gather my wits. How best to explain this latest rejection? ‘Well, I wasn’texactlyfired, I was …’
‘Oh,thereyou are!’ Mom says, just like she does every video call, as if seeing us on screen is a marvel she will never quite get used to.
‘Hi, Mom,’ I give her a little wave. ‘As I was …’
‘There could be a silver lining to this dismissal,’ Posy rushes on, cutting my sentence short. ‘Evie can help with the Gran fiasco! We can have feet on the ground in Santorini and find out what’sreallygoing on with that crazy woman!’
Santorini?
‘I told you, I wasn’t fired! I was made redundant. It’s different!’ Honestly, are they even listening? ‘And Gran is not crazy. She’s a … free spirit.’
They ignore me and continue talking over the top of each other as if I’m not even there. Usually that suits me just fine, but not today when I need some good old-fashioned comforting. They ramble on about the many times wayward Gran has got herself in a pickle and howthistime she’s gone too far. What have I missed? It’s true, I’ve been avoiding the family group chats, but only because there are books that need reading and it is,was, my job. And my family is dramatic, to say the least – there’s always some conspiracy that needs solving and I find it a tad monotonous.
‘STOP!’ I yell, drawing wide eyes from them. I’m not a yeller. ‘What Gran fiasco are you talking about? I thought she was cruising the Greek isles?’
Mom heaves a sigh. ‘She was. Until she stepped off the ship in Santorini a month ago, fell in love with a local,marriedhim and took over the running of his business, or some silly thing.’
‘Gran got married? Again!’ I count back in my mind. Is this husband eight or nine? The last one, Henry, went missing off a boat under suspicious circumstances. Before him was Zhang Chen, a wealthy investor and ice-climbing aficionado. He met his untimely death taking a selfie and fell backwards into a crevasse because his belay wasn’t clipped in. We were all relieved when Gran gave up ice climbing after that. Terribly dangerous, especially at her advanced age.
‘Yep married. Husband number nine! And …’ Posy does jazz hands ‘… Gran also got arrested!’ Her eyes twinkle with the scandal of it all. ‘But not on the same day.’
I gasp. ‘What! Arrested for what?’ Did they find Henry at the bottom of the South China Sea?
Mom scrubs her face as if the memory pains her. Gran sure is a wild one. ‘Early this morning she got arrested for disturbing the peace but got let off with a warning.Allegedlyshe had a disagreement with the landlord, and you know Gran. Why speak if she canyellto get her point across? Now they’ve put restraining orders on each other, so how they’ll manage to do business is beyond me …’
‘You have to rescue her from herself, Evie. She’s in a foreign country. God knows who she’s married or what’s really going on,’ Posy pleads. ‘I know you think Gran is this sassy, vivacious powerhouse but, in reality, she’s going a bit doolally. You need to make her see sense and bring her home.’
I scoff. ‘This is Gran we’re talking about! There’s no chance of me convincing her if she doesn’t want to come.’
Mom presses an eye up close to the screen, which is downright terrifying. ‘Use your wiles.’
‘What wiles?’ Posy says. ‘Evie isn’t exactly the persuading sort. She’ll probably be there a week before she works up the courage to announce her arrival.’
I roll my eyes. ‘So? Unlike you Posy, not all of us like to be the centre of attention.’
I belong to a family of overachieving extroverts. Just once I’d have liked to succeed, the way they all do effortlessly. Posy is on Broadway and has the ego to match. My dad is a famous divorce lawyer who handles high-profile celebrity splits. And Mom’s supposed to be semi-retired, but we’ll be prying a yellow legal pad out of her cold dead hands before she gives up litigating. Her firm is her life.
‘Right, you don’t like being the centre of attention, so with that in mind, you’re going to have to befiercewith a capital F when you get to the island. Convince Gran to stop messing about,’ Posy says. ‘We don’t want her having another altercation with this landlord guy. A Greek jail is no joke.’
