“I’m here,” Elizabeth said. Ava felt Elizabeth’s fingers clasp her stiff hand, and Ava saw her eyes tighten. Ava blinked, tears streaming down the sides of her face and pooling in her ears.
“It’s going to be okay,” Elizabeth whispered and brushed Ava’s hair away from her forehead. “I’ve been checking on you every few minutes. The medication should be here any time now. You’re going to be just fine.”
Ava could hear the lie in Elizabeth’s voice, but she could also hear the hope. Elizabeth knew how dire the situation was at this point, but she was refusing to acknowledge it. She was putting all her faith, all her hope into Ava. It spread like a warm ember in her chest.
“I just need you to hold on for a little while longer,” Elizabeth said. “I’m going to give you something to sleep for a while, when you wake up again you will be on the way to recovery.”
Ava blinked furiously. She didn’t want to go back to sleep. She knew she didn’t have much longer, and she wanted to spend every last second with Elizabeth, even if it was just listening to her talk. If she went back to sleep, she would not see her again, somehow, she knew it. Her body was done, it was over, there was nothing left to give. She wanted to, God she wanted to, but there was just nothing left.Please,Ava silently begged,please just stay with me, don’t let me go.
The darkness was already pushing at the edges of her vision. She forced her eyes to stay open, but they wouldn’t. They burned with the exertion of trying not to blink.Please.
The darkness closed on her again, but this time it was filled with dreams or visions. Her parents. Taking trips into the mountains every summer. The pride and excitement on their faces when she was accepted into Emory. The long tearful goodbye with promises of talking every day.
Her years of internship and residency as she became more and more fascinated with neurology. Her heart ached each time she would come home to visit because she knew she would need to leave again. They had both tried to talk her out of taking the position at Phoenix Ridge, but she wouldn’t hear it. Her family was here, her friends, everything she cared about outside of medicine. She knew they were happy with her choice but didn’t want to pressure her in any way.
She remembered coming to work at the hospital here. At first it was awkward, but she quickly fell into sync with the other doctors and the nurses. This hospital had accomplished so much in the time she’d been here. So many had given her credit for the accomplishments, but she knew that these things never would have happened if not for the rest of the staff.
Old relationships flashed through her mind as though they were being fast forwarded. Small sparks of passion, of affection, never lasting more than a flash. Each one perfect and beautiful in its own way. Each one teaching her something about herself, life, and love. Ava knew love, she loved her parents, her friends, and even her teachers. She loved the hospital, her patients, her colleagues. She loved Phoenix Ridge, her home. She loved her job.
A vague memory rose in her mind, speaking at a medical conference somewhere, Denver maybe? Elizabeth was there, sitting near the back, her eyes rapt on each word. She had not seen her again at the conference, though she had hoped to. She didn’t even know who she was then.
Then Elizabeth arriving at the hospital. She had almost choked when she first laid eyes on the woman. Standing in Sandra’s room, she had felt her pulse quicken when she entered the room. Elizabeth was even more beautiful up close. Her light blue eyes pierced right through her, and Ava could see that Elizabeth’s curiosity had been piqued. Ava felt instant attraction, but she argued with herself that Elizabeth’s reaction was purely professional curiosity.
The first time Elizabeth kissed her. The sheer exhilaration of it. The heat that seared her veins at Elizabeth’s touch. She knew that she would never be able to live without this woman, even then, but had not been willing to admit it to herself, yet.
Fear coursed through her. This couldn’t be it, the end. Her life was flashing before her eyes, but she wasn’t ready to let go. The door opened and closed again as she fought to regain consciousness. That warm darkness hovered just at the edge of her perception, but she pushed it away. She pushed at it with everything she had.
She couldn’t leave yet, she couldn’t allow this virus to take her away. This petty awful virus could not overpower her feelings for Elizabeth, her determination for life. She would stay alive, she had to. Elizabeth was fighting for her, struggling against everything for her, she just had to stay alive.
I love you.
12
ELIZABETH
As Elizabeth shut the door behind her on a sleeping Ava, tears filled her vision. A penetrating fear created a hole in her chest that she would never see Ava awake again. She shoved the thoughts from her mind. She didn’t have time to break down, she would save Ava, no matter what it took. She checked her phone, the medication should be arriving by courier any second now, then they would have to test it in the lab before taking the chance of pulling Ava off the antiviral that was just barely keeping the virus at bay.
She looked up at the double doors as a courier walked through carrying a small cooler. Elizabeth rushed to him, quickly signing the documentation without even opening the cooler. She rushed past Dr. Mars on the way to the elevator, just giving her a curt nod as she took the stairs two at a time. There was not even enough time to wait for the elevator.
She climbed to the third floor, her breath only starting to become labored, and rushed into the lab. She set the cooler down on the table and Lindsey immediately began pulling samples from the cases. Lindsey worked methodically, and for the first time in Elizabeth’s life, this annoyed her. She should be commending Lindsey on her commitment, and her attention to detail, but she needed answers, and she needed them now.
Ava had already coded once, and Elizabeth had been a doctor long enough to know that any more than that risks damaging her heart, even if she survived another code, it would potentially severely limit her. Elizabeth’s mind drifted back as Lindsey pulled the samples and worked her magic. Elizabeth had never felt as helpless as when Ava was actively dying in front of her. She knew from experience that the best place for her in those situations was out of the way, but she still felt utterly helpless. Ava was slipping from her grasp and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
“I think we have something,” Lindsey said as she stared through the microscope. “It’s working on the active virus and doesn’t seem to be causing it to go dormant.”
Elizabeth’s heart leapt in her chest, but she struggled to get her hopes up too much. “What about the dormant ones?” she asked. That had been the problem with most of the antivirals, once it went dormant, the medicine wouldn’t work anymore, and they would just lay in wait until the coast was clear, so to speak.
“There aren’t any dormant cells in this sample, I’ll try another one,” Lindsey said and put the slide to the side.
Another round of excruciating patience as Lindsey gathered another sample and prepared the slide. Elizabeth felt each second ticking by quickly, too quickly. They needed this drug.
Her cell phone pinged—another code. Her pulse started hammering, but she noticed the room number. Relief washed over her, quickly followed by guilt as she realized that it wasn’t Ava’s room. It was Heather’s. Elizabeth prayed that the young woman would survive the code, they were so close. There was nothing Elizabeth could do for her at this moment, though. She needed to be ready for when, if, this new drug worked.
Lindsey started to shake her head and Elizabeth’s heart plummeted. “It doesn’t recognize them when they’re dormant,” Lindsey said, fighting to keep her voice even.
Elizabeth nodded slowly. So it wasn’t perfect, but it still worked against the live virus. Which meant that they would have to remove the other antivirals that kept it at bay before the medication would work.
“What if we were to wean the patients off the other antiviral while giving this medication?” Elizabeth asked. “That way, the virus wouldn’t have the chance for the explosive replication.”
