“It felt like that sometimes, but I’m proud of who I’ve become,” Elizabeth said without hostility. “Seeing their drive inspired mine, and sometimes I have to remind myself that not everyone sees things the way I do.”
“So you genuinely were curious when you asked why I stayed here,” Ava said.
Elizabeth chuckled slightly and nodded. A server brought out their food and a couple of fresh drinks.
“I guess I was a bit sensitive about it,” Ava admitted.
“No, I was too blunt,” Elizabeth said. “When I see something I don’t understand, sometimes I have trouble expressing what I mean, especially when it comes to personal matters. I was raised that the self is not nearlyas important as the whole, and sometimes I’m not sure how I feel about that.”
Ava picked at her burger, suddenly nervous. “I don’t suppose I understand,” she said and nibbled on a french fry.
“My whole life has been a series of clinical research projects, from the time I was a child. We never spent time together just to be together, it always had to serve some greater purpose. I’ve never really learned how to just be.”
Ava nodded. “I understand that. As soon as it was recognized in school that I was gifted it seemed like any time I took for myself was wasted. Sometimes I just wanted to be a kid, you know?”
Elizabeth chuckled again. “At least your parents allowed you to do that.”
“True,” Ava conceded. “I really couldn’t have asked for better parents.” She smiled fondly.
“So, at the risk of sounding callous again, what is it that you want?” Elizabeth asked before taking a huge bite of her burger and wiping at her face with a napkin.
“I’m not sure,” Ava said honestly. “I’m prettyhappy with my life. I guess if I had to say something though it’s that I would like to have a family, you know—wife, kid, all that.” Ava’s cheeks colored as soon as the words left her mouth. She couldn’t deny that she was crushing hard on Elizabeth, but on what probably couldn’t even be considered a date she was bringing up marriage and kids. Elizabeth would probably jump on a plane in the morning and never look back. She dared to look up from her food to see Elizabeth’s expression. She was nodding thoughtfully, and Ava let out a sigh of relief. “What about you?”
“I’ve done all the things that I thought would make me happy. I’ve accomplished a lot, won awards, everything that I believed was important, but I’ve started to feel like I missed out on something important, though I haven’t the slightest idea of what that is.”
Ava gave Elizabeth a slight smile. “Have you ever been in love?” Elizabeth rolled her eyes and Ava felt her cheeks flush, but she doubled down. “I’m serious, have you ever been in love?”
“I have loved, and do love, plenty of people. I had a long term partner,” Elizabeth said.
“That’s not what I mean,” Ava said, and she had a feeling Elizabeth knew it. “I mean have you ever fallen head over heels for someone, had someone who seemed to take up all the space in your brain, who you wanted to be with more than life itself?”
“That sounds more like passion than love, or infatuation,” Elizabeth challenged.
Ava opened her mouth to speak but paused to consider Elizabeth’s words. “Fine, have you ever been infatuated with someone?” Ava’s eyes widened as she watched Elizabeth’s reaction. Her cheeks colored slightly, and it took her a moment to speak.
“No,” she finally said and Ava’s heart sank. “I like to think that I am more disciplined than that.”
“What does that have to do with discipline?” Ava asked.
“I keep my mind clear of distraction,” Elizabeth said and lifted her chin in defiance, though of what Ava couldn’t be sure.
“That’s not the same thing,” Ava said with a grin.
“Have you?” Elizabeth asked.
“Have I what?”
“Have you been in love?” Elizabeth’s bright blue eyes were suddenly piercing through her.
“Yes, I’ve felt passion, I’ve had infatuations, but they never seemed to grow into real love,” Ava said, looking down at her mostly empty plate. She didn’t even remember eating most of it.
“Why not?” Elizabeth asked.
“It’s easy to get excited about someone, especially someone new, but compatibility is something else entirely. You know the stresses in this field of work, probably a lot more than I do. It doesn’t bode well for long-term relationships if they can’t understand it,” Ava said with a shrug. “That’s one of the drawbacks of life here, I guess; most of the time they can’t understand the work that I do or why it takes up so much of my time.”
“Hm,” Elizabeth tapped her lips with her finger. “That’s interesting.”
“What is?”
