Through the pain, I can feel Kieran. His deep voice, the pine and cinnamon smell of him, how he looks when he combs his fingers through his hair—everything that makes himhim,from his courage to his scorn, his gentleness to his hesitation. And it’s all being slowly, agonizingly ripped away from me.
Some part of me digs my fingers in and tries to hold on.
I scream until my throat is raw, until I can’t tell if I’m still screaming or not. Dark spots dance in my peripheral vision. Ican sense the witches more than hear them, can feel their magic washing over me as they keep the spell going. The smell of ozone fills the air as their magic presses inward.
This is what I wanted, I remind myself as my vision begins to white out. I should let go of him. So that I can be free. So that I never feel the pain again.
I try to let go, like Bonnie said.
The pain won’t stop. I can’t handle any more of it.
The last thing I’m aware of is falling to my knees, gagging on my own screams, twisting and writhing as the ritual reaches its climax. Then everything goes black.
Chapter 26
Kieran
I can’t stop smelling lilac and honey. Her scent still clings to my skin, invades my nostrils and lingers on my tongue. It’s a constant reminder of what I’ve lost.
No. What I threw away, as if it was nothing. As ifshewas nothing.
My wolf is inconsolable, alternating between howling in anguish and snarling at me in sheer rage. The bond between us and Aurora lashes with a pain that’s worse than ever before, shattered beyond belief. And it’s all my doing.
I should be heading southwest to Pack Diamond. That’s where Aurora must be going even now, since it’s the right choice. She wouldn’t let her personal issues get in the way of warning others about the fae threat. Not after everything she’s been through growing up without a pack because of them.
But something feels wrong about that path when I step toward it. The more I face toward Pack Diamond territory, the more unsettled my wolf becomes. He whines and tosses his head like an unruly horse. When I catch another whiff of her scent on the wind, it’s coming from the wrong direction.
East.
Doubling back to our campsite from last night, I shift into my wolf form and put my nose to the ground. Her scent is still fresh here, mixed with the smell of our arousal. The memory of her beneath me, around me, crying out my name as she came undone, how it felt to spill myself inside her… it makes my wolf whimper with longing.
So I follow her path down the road. At first it seems like she’s going toward Pack Diamond. Then I catch it: the trail diverges suddenly, going southeast.
Stopping in the middle of the diverging path, I try to figure out what she should want out east. There aren’t many packs that way for miles, and none of them are big enough to be of any interest to the fae. The only thing that way is…
No. She wouldn’t.
But even as the thought occurs to me, pain lances through my chest, sharp and direct, with intent. It’s clearer than anything I’ve felt since the initial rejection. Through our broken bond, I feel echoes of Aurora’s agony, intense despite the distance between us. She’s hurting, desperate, and I know that it’s all my fault.
I take off running, following both her scent trail and the feeling in my chest. She’s hours ahead of me, but I’m faster in my wolf form than her bike can go on these winding roads. If I push myself to my limits I may reach her in time.
Before I can make it more than a few scant miles, a familiar howl cuts through the air. One of my father’s messengers races toward me, his gray fur matted with blood and his eyes wild with panic.
I’m forced to shift back to human form to hear his news. “The fae are attacking Pack Jade,” he says as soon as he’s shifted. “They came out of nowhere, dozens of them. Your father sent me to find you. He needs you to come home now and help defend the pack.”
My heart stops. Reaching through the dim pack bonds, I feel it: pain, fear, and fury. The pack faces an impossible threat, and few back home know how to fight the fae.
But Aurora is out there in pain and alone.
Everything in me freezes as I’m torn between two impossible choices. My pack needs me. My father is calling for my help, and despite everything, I know what that cost him. As future alpha, it’s my duty to step up and protect our people.
Aurora is my people too, though. If she goes through with breaking our bond, she could die. The pain I feel from her now is just the beginning. And even if she survives, I’ll lose her forever.
I can’t believe one choice I made five years ago has led to this.
One stupid, monumental, impossible choice.
My father speaks for what must be nearly an hour, striding back and forth onstage. He turns to the elders to emphasize certain points, thrusting his finger into the air as he declares the need for the pack to expand territory into the west. I watch him without really seeing him, listen without really hearing, because inside me, everything has turned to ash.
