Each word is like a knife in my chest, because they’re true. “It wasn’t just… I didn’t want to…”
“If you didn’t want to do it, then why did you?” She takes a step closer, the snarl on her lips just like a wolf’s, no matter what she lacks. “Tell me why you did it, Kieran. If it wasn’t just to be cruel, or just because I’m not good enough—tell me why you rejected me then and are kissing me now.”
The words are there, caught in my throat. But if I speak them, they’ll change nothing, and worse… she’ll never look at me the same again. I can’t stand to watch the pride and admiration fade from her eyes, replaced by disgust.
I can’t admit my own weakness, my fear. Especially knowing what my father would think. An alpha’s mate has to be strong—and an alpha? Even stronger.
So I clear my throat and tell her, “You were right. We should focus on the mission. The fae are the priority right now.”
I watch the hope die in her eyes, replaced by hurt and resignation. She takes a step back, then reaches down to grab the handle of her cold iron daggers, as if she finds comfort in them. “Exactly. The mission comes first. Your opinion of me will never change.”
“Aurora—”
“We should get moving. There are more important things to worry about than… whatever is between us. Once we get home, we’ll go our separate ways again, and the bond will fade.”
Her voice is steady, her eyes clear, but I can feel her pain through our bond, which has grown stronger each day that we spend together. With each moment I spend gazing at her beauty, each brush of our hands, and now our lips—it fights me, demanding to be felt.
Aurora only looks at me briefly as she says, “I won’t let myself get distracted again. Let’s get moving. We have more land to cover.”
She turns away, and I have no choice but to let her go. Picking a path, she walks through the ruins with her head held high, her eyes bright as she observes her surroundings. My wolf howls his despair, clawing desperately at my chest, his heartache twice as strong as mine.
But I don’t chase her this time. Instead I let the weight of my choices wash over me, and remind myself what I’ve done.
I’ve hurt her. Again.
Brought her close, given her hope, only to push her away again. Even though I love her, even though I want nothing more than to pull her close, I can’t. She is what I can never have, what I don’t deserve to claim.
An alpha must be strong.My father’s voice is ever-present.Strength above all else. And you, Kieran… you are weak.
This is the weakest I’ve ever felt in my life. Watching her walk away feels like having my heart torn out and stomped on. But it’s the only way, the only choice, no matter what I want or how badly my wolf hates me for it.
Eventually I follow her into the ruins. We have more land to cover, more investigation to be done. And I can’t risk her getting caught out alone with the fae aware of our presence here and more willing to attack outright than ever.
Still, I know, with crushing certainty, that this choice, that kiss, and the words that came after it, will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Chapter 21
Aurora
The past is the only thing that makes sense anymore.
I throw myself into exploring the ruins, grateful for the distraction from the lingering taste of Kieran on my lips, the memory of his cock pressed against me. Everything hurts: my back where the fae claws tore me open, my head from swallowing tears, and most of all, my chest from the rejected bond. But as long as I keep moving and thinking, I can shove it to the side.
For the most part.
“Look at this.” Crouching down, I trace markings scratched into the dirt near an old Pack Onyx building. The symbols are similar to ones we’ve found before, but different, and much more recent—createdafterthe pack land was decimated, not before. “These weren’t made by shifters.”
Kieran moves closer, his scent washing over me like a physical touch. Pine and cinnamon and man, heavy and arousing, so strong I can almost taste it. “So the fae did this?”
“Yes, but…” I study the markings, translating each in my head and stringing them together into meaning. Something about land and ownership. The whole time, Kieran’s presence is a distraction, his nearness making my skin flush. “These areangry, made in haste. They’re deeply carved and not exact or thought out. It’s like whoever made them was in a hurry for some reason.”
Kieran leans in for a better look, his warmth brushing my skin. “Can you read them?”
“Not exactly, but Gran told me enough that I can recognize certain bits and pieces. They aren’t letters or words like English—instead they’re runes, like spells or pictographs.” I point to a specific cluster. “These are territorial—they’re warning someone to stay away. And these… they’re ownership of some kind. Claiming the land for a certain tribe or person, I’m not sure which. This last one I know by heart: it means death. A threat to kill anyone who breaks this covenant.”
“And if only the fae understand them, that means they were threatening to kill each other.” His voice is thoughtful, but all I can think about is the touch of his hand on my back as he cleaned my wound. “That seems to suggest there’s fighting happening between different groups of fae, which would explain why suddenly everything is escalating.”
I nod. “They’re not as united as they want us to think. Gran told me as much: her pack fought multiple species and clans. The ones who attacked Pack Quartz, with their vine-like limbs and inhuman bodies—they were different from the fae we just fought here.”
