“I had just moved to Salem, actually. I was looking to start my life over because I had made a mistake where I previously lived in California.”
I’m still staring at him, I know, but I can’t believe what he’s saying to me. Based on how serious he looks, I’m thinking that he’s telling me the truth, or at least what he believes to be the truth.
“Okay, so you’re leaving church, and what happens?”
“There was a runaway horse and carriage. I was with a lady named Lucy, and I pushed her out of the way and became entangled in the event. My wounds were mortal, and I died. Then I met Farnsworth.”
“Farnsworth?”
“He’s the steward of the Soul Chasers.”
“Uh huh.”
“Because I had died an untimely death through no fault of my own, I was considered a decent person, and I have an affinity for animals, I was given the opportunity to return to this life and become a Soul Chaser.”
“I hear what you’re saying, but it doesn’t make any sense to me. It sounds like you’re describing a science fiction or horror movie.”
He chuckles, lifting his mug to his lips. “I suppose it does, but it’s real. It’s what happened to me. I accepted the offer simply because I wasn’t ready to die yet. I returned to life, and I continued what I was doing, except my existence took on a whole new meaning.”
I lean forward, hanging on his words.
“I had to leave Salem after a while, so as not to draw more attention to myself for the mere fact that I wasn’t aging, and my job required some strange behaviors on my part. Given the time period and the superstitions of the people, it really wasn’t safe for me or those I cared about.”
I notice how his voice deepens when he says that last part, and I sense there’s some pain there.
“Were you married?”
“Yes. To Lucy, in fact. But…” He pauses again, his gaze turning towards the window. “We had an understanding, me and Lucy. She had such a kind, compassionate heart. I wasn’t in love with her, but I was very fond of her.”
“Oh.”
“I was in love with someone else, a man, and Lucy knew this. We spent a lot of time with him, the three of us together, and he became a trusted friend and my lover. In fact, when I had to leave, I asked him to take my place, to take care of Lucy and the homestead. Maybe give her children, if she still wanted that.”
“Children? You didn’t have any with her?”
Wilder shakes his head. “I couldn’t. I don’t know why. The science and medicine were not clear, not as evolved yet as they are now, but I seemed incapable of it.” He frowns. “I couldn’t finish most of the time. The few times I did, no pregnancy occurred.” He shrugs. “I wanted to be attracted to her, but I wasn’t, and I couldn’t force myself.”
“Dang.”
“That’s why I thought I was gay for the longest time. Lucy was lovely and sweet. I thought if I couldn’t find her attractive, it wasn’t there for me. I felt no attraction towards women until the 1950s.”
My head is spinning. “The fifties?”
Wilder nods. “I met a stage actress. I was living in New York at the time, and she was so talented. There was just somethingabout her that captivated me, and I wanted to talk to her. As our friendship grew, I found myself curious and intrigued by her in a romantic sense, which had never happened to me before.”
“That must’ve been wild for you.”
“Very. I talked to her about it, and we began a beautiful affair. It was pleasant and nice, but she wanted what I could not give her, which was a happily ever after. And still, no children came.” He exhales slowly, dragging his finger around the rim of his mug. “At that point, I was deeply entrenched in my profession, and I knew better than to bring a family into it. In fact, I don’t think anybody who already has a family is chosen to be a Soul Chaser. The fewer human entanglements you have, the better.”
“But does that mean you have to be alone forever?”
“There are ways around it, but they don’t appeal to me. At least, they haven’t yet. Who’s to say though. I’ll be alive forever. It could happen.”
My brain stumbles on the last part of what he just said. “You’re never gonna die?”
“No. There are ways, but I’m well versed on how to avoid them at this point, so it’s unlikely to happen to me.”
“Ways?”
