“Itwasmy fault, Vi. Whether I was physically behind the wheel or not.”
I felt irritation well in me. We rarely talked of the accident and the fact that he’d told everyone he’d been driving when we’d crashed over the cliff and into the sea. I’d let him take the fall because he’d taken me by surprise, and by the time I’d come to my senses, it would have looked even worse to change our story. I’d let him do it because somewhere in my teenage, hormone-rattled brain, I’d loved that he wanted to protect me. But I hadn’t needed him to protect me then, just like I didn’t need it now.
The elevator opened, and he stepped out, putting his hand on the door to stop it from closing and waiting for me to exit. But I didn’t.
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” I asked.
He met my gaze with eyes full of regret. “No.”
“Then, I think I’ll just head to bed myself.” I tossed my braid, crossed my shaking hands over my chest, and leaned against the back wall.
He stared at me, a war going on inside his brain. I wanted him to trust me as much as I wanted him to kiss me. With every fiber of my being, I wanted Dawson to let go of all the walls he held up between us and just give in to what we both wanted. To be together. To be more than friends passing in the night. But I wouldn’t beg, and I wouldn’t spend more years of my life waiting for it to happen.
When I didn’t budge, he looked down and removed his hand from the elevator door.
“Goodnight, Vi.”
The doors shut, and I barely held back the tears that collected in my eyes.
I hadn’t cried any tears over Silas. With one conversation, Dawson could shred every ounce of my composure. I wanted to hate him for it, but I knew I never would.
Dawson
KISS ME
“Settle down with me,
And I'll be your safety.
You'll be my lady.”
Performed by Ed Sheeran
Written by Sheeran / Frost / Franks / Wilson
My conversation with Violet in theelevator cracked open my veins, pouring blood out of them that couldn’t be seen. I hated lying to her. I hated not being honest. But there was no fucking way I could drag her into this mess more than she was.
I paid a CarShare driver more than he would have made all night to be my wheels while I waited in the dark on the opposite side of the street for Ken’Ichi to emerge from the building. It would have been impossible to tail him in the Aston Martin without notice.
Even though she was normally Jada’s driver, it wasIto-sanwho pulled up in a dark SUV when Ken’Ichi appeared. He slid into the back seat, and they headed toward the financial district. They stopped in front of the Mori Enterprises building near the 9/11 Memorial, andIto-sanopened the back door for him. He said something to her, she nodded, and then drove off while he mounted the steps. We didn’t have eyes or ears inside. While we’d gotten the wiretap approval, every time we tapped the place, it was less than a day before it was discovered and removed just like at the house in Tarifa. It seemed theKyodainawere exceptional at countersurveillance—or they had someone on the inside. I wouldn’t put it past them to have both.
Sitting in the shadows, waiting for Ken’Ichi to reemerge, I couldn’t help but feel, once again, the weight of Violet’s disappointment. It hung on me heavier than my father’s words the night before. I couldn’t escape the vision of her pale eyes flashing at me, sending me repeated dares that I wanted to give in to. Not only to kiss her but to unburden myself of the truth. If I could choose one person in this world to always think the best of me, it would be her. Truck and Dax were right behind.
It was well past midnight by the time Ken’Ichi finally came out and got into another SUV with a different driver. He went right back to the penthouse. Another fucking wasted night. Another failure.
Four years. Four years, and I had so little to show for it.
I waited for thirty minutes before I abandoned the CarShare and entered the silent penthouse. I wasn’t sure I’d get any more sleep than I had the night before, and I was in desperate need of it. Once Dax and I got on the water, we’d be at the helm for hours at a time. There was going to be little chance for rest if we wanted to break the record. And I had to break the record…not just for me, but for Jada. For Malone. To make sure Ken’Ichi saw it as a success, and we got what we needed on the entire fucking organization.
At some point, I must have dozed off, because my alarm was what jolted me back to the land of the living. I took a cold shower, trying to bring my body and brain back to the level of alertness I needed for the day. Then, I headed out to the yacht club and the appointment Ken’Ichi had thrown in my face the night before.
The guard at the gate to the private pier knew me well. He grinned and asked, “Still planning on leaving in the morning?”
“As long as the weather holds,” I said.
“Joe and I have money on you and Armaud,” he replied.
I smiled. “Well, we’ll do our best to bring home a win for you.”
