“You did.”
As soon as she said the words, she realized she’d said them aloud, and I knew she wanted to take them back, because she flushed a soft pink. She stood up and came closer, and I didn’t budge from my spot. The warmth and scent of her rushed over me again. She reached out a hand and tugged the brandy bottle back.
I wanted to tell her she was wrong. I hadn’t walked away. I’d actually run. But it wasn’t because I didn’t want her. It was because I wanted her too much. I’d wanted her so much I thought I’d break in two with the need. I’d been afraid I’d do all the stupid things I dreamed about doing to her, and then she would have hated me. I would have hated myself. Jersey would have hated me the most, and Truck would have felt the need to be on my side, and everything would have gone to hell between them. Between all of us. But I couldn’t say any of that because I still couldn’t have her.
Violet
BACK TO YOU
“Everybody knows we got unfinished business,
And I'll regret it if I didn't say this isn't what it could be.”
Performed by Selena Gomez
Written by Gomez / Van Elsas / Allen / Premnath / Warrington
I wanted to kiss him sobad my body was shaking, but I wouldn’t be that girl again. I refused to be the lovesick puppy dancing around him, purposefully tempting him like I’d once done.
I pulled the brandy from him and started for the door, but he put a hand on it. His body bent slightly over me, caging me in a way that shouldn’t have appealed to me but did. I wanted to be surrounded by him.
He’d carried me up the stairs, arms burning into me, and brought me to his room, and the tiny teenager inside me had gone batshit wild, screaming for joy. What I wouldn’t have given at sixteen to have had him do this same damn thing. Back then, I wouldn’t have resisted kissing him. If he’d brought me to his room, and I’d had on nothing more than the bra I had on now, I would have refused his T-shirt. I would have been tempted to finish disrobing.
I lifted my chin, glaring at him. “What are you doing?”
His husky voice and warm breath coasted over me with his reply. “You’re drunk and have a bump on your head. I don’t think you should be alone.”
He grabbed my wrists and tugged me back in the direction of the bed. I sat down, suddenly tired. Tired from the emotions that flew through me when I was around him. Tired of feeling guilt for Silas, and hating Dad, and frustration over an entire town despising my sister.
I tugged off my boots, tucked my feet into the sheets that were all asunder as if he’d been tossing and turning, and lay down on my side, facing him. He was still by the door. The pillow beneath my head smelled like him. Pine and sea mixed together. I wondered what I could use to make my own version of the scent in the lab. Formulas drifted through my head. Ones I tossed away, and ones I could keep.
I’d just closed my eyes against him when I remembered I needed my antibiotics.
I moved quickly to a standing position, and the whole room whirled in front of me, giving me two or three Dawsons before they settled back down into one. I landed on my butt on the bed, and Dawson’s soft chuckle followed me, burying itself into my veins.
“Just lie down, Vi,” he said. “Don’t try to be a superhero tonight.”
“I need my antibiotics,” I said with my eyes closed, trying to calm the swimming sensation in the pit of my stomach.
The laughter disappeared, replaced with worry when he spoke. “Why do you need your antibiotics?”
“Guy threw up on me at the bar.”
I still had my eyes closed, so I could only imagine the shock on his face that filled the silence of the room.
He came closer, tugging at my braid with a gentle hand.
“You’ve had quite the day,” he said softly.
I opened my eyes. I was sitting eye level with his bare stomach. The softly tinted hair that started below his belly button leading down beneath the waistband of his gray sweats was right in front of my lips. My core lit up, making it difficult to resist the urge to kiss it. Lick it. Follow the muscled indentations littering his stomach and chest to where the delightful V pointed.
I turned my gaze upward and found his eyes full of heat. Full of the same desire that curled through me. Had always curled through both of us when we were together.
He was an unknown accelerant, lighting me up.
I felt more from not touching Dawson than I’d ever felt while touching Silas. It was unfair. Cruel. To know that this was possible but to not be able to have it.
Even though I was almost positive he felt it too, he ignored it as he always had by stepping backward. He went to the door.
