“I thought I told you,” I said quietly.
“You’re really not coming back,” he said as if it was finally sinking in.
I wanted to laugh, but the hurt in his voice had me biting it back. “Silas, you watched while I built the lab. Did you truly expect me to suddenly change my mind?”
“Why not? It wouldn’t be any more sudden than you dropping out,” he said, frustration radiating from him, and for the very first time, I lost my patience.
“If you’d actually been paying attention…if you’d really cared about me, you’d have seen I wasn’t happy, and it wouldn’t be such a surprise. Raisa saw it. She knew.”
“I’m sorry I’m not a mind reader,” he all but shouted.
“And I’m sorry I’m not who you thought I was,” I tossed back.
I opened a small ladder stored by the shelves and picked up one of the boxes to put on the upper shelf. I started up the steps just as the box began sliding. I tried to catch it, but lost my balance in the process. Before I could regain it, the weight of the box was pulling me backward, and I tumbled from the ladder, hitting my wrist and elbow on the way down.
Silas caught me before I hit the ground with a fierce grip I knew was going to leave a mark. Once everything had come to a standstill, Silas still didn’t let go. We were tucked up against each other, chests heaving with adrenalin.
“Are you okay?” Worry coated his voice.
My wrist hurt. It was the one I’d broken once upon a time in the car crash with Dawson. But other than that dull ache and a few bruises, I was fine. I just nodded, pulling my arms away and wincing at both my banged up body parts and his tight grip.
“I wish I could prove to you how much I need you,” he said as I backed away.
“It isn’t me you need,” I said softly. “You’ll see.”
Silas stared behind me at the clear plastic and the lab I’d built before turning his gaze to the boxes now strewn about. They’d been a nice neat pile when the delivery folks had stacked them, and I’d made chaos out of them.
He took a deep breath and said in a voice shaky with emotion, “I’m going home.”
I felt horrible for the relief that filled me at his words. When I didn’t respond, he continued, “I’ll buy a ticket for tomorrow.”
“I think that’s a good idea,” I said as gently as I could.
I wasn’t sure if it was anger, hurt, or sadness that crossed his face. Maybe a mix of them all. He turned and walked out.
My heart twisted not because I wanted him to stay, but because he was a friend I’d hurt deeply. But I knew I was doing the right thing. If I’d had any residual uncertainty, my reaction to Dawson had displaced it. Proof after proof after proof that the equation which had been Silas and me was never meant to be. Vanadium and silicon were useful additions to alloys in their own right, but they were rarely combined. There was rarely a V + Si in formulas.
Whereas vanadium bromide was a normal aqueous solution.
The thought of light-brown eyes caused my stomach to bubble again before I pushed it aside. They would never be mine. Just like I would never be Silas’s.
Dawson had been with Jada. They were both back in New London.
Jada had been my first and only real friend after Dad had been sent to prison. We’d met through the online high school we’d both been attending. When we’d realized we were mere miles apart, we’d started meeting regularly for coffee and homework. Even after she’d discovered what Dad had done, she’d never abandoned me.
Instead, I’d been the one to leave her, flying across the country to follow my dreams. She’d been happy for me, and we’d kept in touch, but it hadn’t been quite the same. In fact, after Dawson had begun racing boats with Dax, Jada had become more his friend than mine.
I took out my phone and sent her a text.
ME: I heard from Dawson that you’re back in New London. I’m here too! Can I see you?
WILD ONE: You’re here?! Yes! Of course. What are you doing tonight?
ME: I’m covering at the B&B for Mandy and Leena right now, but maybe I can ask Tami and Saul if there’s a day this week they can watch the place for me?
WILD ONE: Dawson and Violet, sitting in a B&B…
I snorted at the childish song.
