“I look more like her than my mom. It’s like the genes skipped a generation or something.”
His hand moved, causing my body to still as he touched my cheek.
“You’re beautiful.”
I choked on the emotion his words caused. Words said to me for the first time in years from a man who wasn’t my family. A man who spoke from a place of need and want and desire. I gulped and stepped back.
Chicken.
No risk in me.
No dare.
The waitress had way more gumption than I did.
“Thank you for walking me home,” I said before turning and almost running up the steps to the door that I unlocked with shaking fingers. I never looked back, but I was sure he waited until the door shut behind me, because I could feel his gaze. I leaned against the wood, closing my eyes and breathing in deeply.
When I opened my eyes again, it was to find Jay watching me with a grin on his face. His floppy brown waves were longer than he’d ever worn them before, but they made his slate-gray eyes stand out. I had a feeling his new girlfriend was the reason for the new look.
“Wow,” he said. “That was a dreamy look.”
“Dreamy? Nah. More like a lucky escape.” I hung my coat on the hooks by the door, removed my cowboy boots, and pulled some money from my purse.
“How’d it go?” I asked.
He smiled. “They’re all tucked away in your bed.”
“Yeah, but when did you actually succeed in getting them there?” I chuckled.
“Right at eight o’clock,” he said solemnly.
“You lie,” I laughed.
“Okay, you’re right. We had a dance party on your bed until they all fell into an exhausted slumber around nine-thirty. But look at it this way, you’ll get to sleep in longer tomorrow.”
I laughed. “You know it never works that way. Their body clocks are embedded like carvings in rock. They’ll all be up at six thirty, waiting for me to feed them breakfast.”
He pulled some books from the coffee table and shoved them in his backpack, sliding into his tennis shoes before meeting me at the door.
“Thanks for watching them for us,” I said, handing him the cash.
“It almost seems wrong taking the money from you,” he said. “I love being around them.”
“We would never take advantage of you that way.”
He smiled, said goodnight, and headed out.
I locked the door, went up the stairs, and peeked in on the three faces asleep in my bed. Four, if you counted Molly, who hadn’t even budged enough to come greet me. Her tail thumped, but she didn’t move. They must have worn her out as much as they had themselves.
I patted her head, grabbed my pajamas, and then headed to the bathroom. I washed the thick coat of makeup off and stared at my thirty-four-year-old face. I felt older and younger all at the same time, small lines starting to appear at the corners of my eyes and my mouth, a deeper crease between my brows from a frown I wore too often.
There was a reason Hannah was so serious. It was because of me. Because I’d buried my laughter at the same time as I’d buried a casket. I didn’t want that for her. I didn’t want it for me. I wanted us both laughing and singing and finding joy. Finding those simple, beautiful moments you felt and lived.
I just had to figure a way out of this mess Grams had left, and then I swore to myself we would laugh more. It was going to happen.
Brady
LOOK WHAT GOD GAVE HER
