STACY: Yep. I really, really am.
I went to call Nash and saw the red dot reminding me of the missed call from earlier. The person had actually left a message. I hit the button and was greeted with a deep male voice. “Miss Morgan, this is William Chan fromPlatinum Bank and Trust. It’s my understanding that Elana left the music store to you. I’d been in discussions with her about buying it. I’d like to continue those talks with you at your first opportunity.”
I sat stunned for a moment. There was no way Grams would have sold the store. She would have cut off an arm and given it away before she signed it off to someone else. It was her entire life. But then I stared at the pile of bills, late notices, and bank statements, and I wondered if she hadn’t been doing just that. Owning a music store in the digital age wasn’t profitable. Selling instruments and lessons was barely breaking even. Still, Grams and her store had been a staple in the community for over sixty years.
I thought about calling my mom, but if I hadn’t known Grams was thinking of selling, then my mother certainly wouldn’t have either.
“Grams, what the heck were you doing?” I muttered.
I didn’t realize I was crying until the first tear hit the papers on my lap.
I brushed at it and then at the ones on my face.
No. I wasn’t going to cry. I was tired of crying. I was tired of feeling sad.
The thought of feeling anything at all brought back Cormac’s visit to the store. To the casual touch of our fingers that had my body reacting in a way it hadn’t since Darren. From our very first teenage bumbles to our days of passion whenever he came home, Darren and I’d had a connection that was much more than just physical. It hung in the air when we were together like the mist rising from a cool stream on a hazy morning.
I closed my eyes and let my thoughts drift back to those touches. The last time we’d made love before he’d lost his life. The tangle of our bodies in a house in Florida as we’d shed our clothes with speed before Hannah woke up from her nap. The slow touch of his hands over the stretch marks on my stomach I’d been upset about and that he’d kissed with tenderness. The kisses he’d placed on my breasts that had lost their firmness in the battle with nursing.
I’d felt old and used, and he’d brought me back to life with every touch.
Now, I just felt old and used, and I hadn’t expected ever to be brought back to life again. I hadn’t wanted to be brought back to life because that meant taking a risk on someone else, and I wasn’t prepared to do that again. Regardless of the fleeting sense of awakening I’d felt at Cormac’s touch, it was the last thing I was going to follow up on. The focus of my life was going to remain on my daughter, my art, and Grams’ store. It was more than enough to fill my days. Besides, my girl was the one who deserved a bright and beautiful future, and I was determined to make sure she had one.
I deleted the message and hit Nash’s phone number. As late as it was, if I didn’t call back, he’d just worry. I was grateful for him. For Stacy. For the people in my life who were always there for me. I relied on them too much. This thing with Grams and the store…I could do this on my own.
Brady
IT GOES LIKE THIS
“Hey girl, you make me wanna write a song
Sit you down, I'll sing it to you all night long.”
Performed by Thomas Rhett
Written by Hayslip / Robbins / Rhett Akins
The rain had soaked through all my layers by the time I got home from the music shop. My entire round of unsatisfying business that morning had resulted in one thing. I was full of chords and words acting like a montage to the vortex of feelings I was drowning in. Starting with the sticky note this morning all the way until the momentCarihad touched me. I set the antique chest down on the coffee table and dragged my guitar out of its case.
Music flowed through my head, and I poured it out. It was sweet and bitter and harsh and gentle. It was echoes of my past and glimpses of a future that would likely never be mine. It was a deeper tone than my last album. Not darker, but maybe richer. After starting over, with a tweak here and there, I set my phone down, hit record, and captured the bulk of it. It was raw and needed work, but it was a start.
I sent it to Ava, knowing she’d make sense of it. Knowing she’d find the truth in the words and the notes like she always did.
I was surprised when my phone rang.
“Who’s the poor woman you’ve subjected to this latest round of casual flirtation?” she asked.
“Why does there have to be a woman?”
“Okay, who’s the poor man you’ve subjected to this latest round of casual flirtation?” she said with a tease in her voice.
I chuckled, and some of the pain and longing eased inside my chest.
But the truth was, the feelings I’d had withCarihadn’t felt flirtatious at all. It wasn’t anything I’d ever felt. Like I’d busted through the veil of this dimension to another one.
“Why does it have to be a person, was what I meant,” I said.
Her turn to laugh, her husky voice soothing me. “Are you taking up with animals then?”
