I finally breathed in and out deeply. A shudder went through me, and then I turned back. Cass was watching me carefully. Tristan was looking out the window.
“What happened?” I asked.
Cassidy shot Tristan a look, causing the panic I’d first felt on seeing the damn video to invade my body all over again.
“Tristan?” I asked quietly. She looked back at me, and the tears were no longer in check. They were rolling down her cheeks. I stepped toward her, and she backed away.
It hurt worse than Mom’s words. The fact that she stepped away from me. That she wouldn’t let me comfort her. I hadn’t been able to shield her from shit. Nothing. Staying quiet certainly hadn’t helped. The security detail hadn’t helped. I’d let them all down.
Tristan
CHIQUITITA
“You're enchained by your own sorrow
In your eyes, there is no hope for tomorrow.”
Performed by ABBA
Written by Andersson / Bjornov / Stromstedt / Ulvaeus
I stared at Brady and wasagonized by the hurt on his face as much as the pain rippling through my gut. Hurt and sorrow. Shame and remorse. And seeing him, feeling the way my body responded to his as soon as he’d walked into the room…it didn’t help me with any of the emotions I’d felt since the first moment the reporter had flung his words at me.
I was a cheater.
I was the worst kind of low.
I took a breath and told him the truth. “One of the reporters asked about Darren.”
The surprise registered in the way his eyes widened before his mouth tightened. The gorgeous, happy smile he was famous for was nowhere in sight. More regrets rushed into me, but I just continued to plow through all of it, knowing I couldn’t hide what I felt.
“He asked how I could dishonor the memory of him by dating you when Darren was barely in his grave. When he’d died fighting for our country…”
“Four and a half years,” Brady said, voice choked.
It only made the tears come harder that he knew exactly how long it had been. That he knew because he cared about me. But in actuality, it didn’t matter if it had been one or two or ten years. The reporter was right. I’d let Darren slip from me in order to feel good. In order to have an orgasm and a few laughs.
I was an awful human being.
“Cariño.” Brady’s voice was deep, and the nickname only brought more tears. I shook my head.
“Don’t call me that,” I said. “I’m glad you’re here. I didn’t want to leave Cass alone, but when Stacy brings the baby, I’m going home with her.”
“Please don’t go,” he said, voice cracking, pain showing through.
“I’m going to wait out in the lobby.”
And I left. I knew I was running. I knew it with every part of me, but I also couldn’t stay. The pain was just too much. I was grateful Stacy came into the hospital carrying Chevelle in his car seat just as I made it downstairs. She gave me a look that said she was ready to knock me over the head, hugged me, and then said she’d be right back after taking the baby to Cassidy.
She didn’t say a word to me as we drove back to her house with Trevor following us in the Escalade.
When I walked into Stacy’s, Hannah ran and tackled me, pulling me to the ground like she hadn’t done in months. “I’m the She-Hulk, Mommy! I got you!”
I laughed over the tears and pain, hugging her tightly.
“You certainly did,Chiquita.”
“Is Brady back yet? Did you bring him with you? I want to play the song I made for him.”
