How did I not know this about my sister?
While Cass convinced Marco to try the gluten-free products, I bought ten huge boxes of treats to be overnighted to my support team and bandmates. I filled out shipping labels as Cass visited with Helen andHelen’s daughter, laughter abundant throughout their conversation. As otherpeople came in and out of the store, they also greeted Cass with warmth and cheerfulness. One thing was clear: my sister got more attention than I did.
My lips curled up at that thought. Cassidy the Nutritionist was known by children and grownups alike. Listening in, I learned more about my sister than I had in months. She’d obviously spent time at the schools to teach healthy eating, helped people with dietary restrictions, and held weekly group discussions at the clinic down the street.
By the time we left the store, Cass was practically glowing. Dressed in white with the holiday lights shining on her, she looked almost ethereal. Angelic. If it wasn’t some kind of blasphemous sin, I’d say her baby had been created by divine intervention. It was easier than thinking of some jerk screwing my sister and then leaving her to handle the change in her world all on her own.
As we neared the music store, my heart sped up, and all thoughts of Cass and her life flew out of my head. Instead, images of a wrinkled, gray-haired woman took over.
Elana.
It had been too long since I’d last seen her.
When I entered, she was in a heated discussion with a tall, black-haired man with pale skin whose lips were flashing a smile. “You’re luckyChiquitaisn’t here, or your slander of Stevie Nicks would have you banned from the shop, Jin.”
He laughed and was joined by a beautiful brown-skinned woman whose full, smiling lips were tilted up as much as his. She tucked herself up against him, and when they did, it was apparent they fit. In the same way Dani fit with Nash and my friend Georgie fit with her husband, Mac. An ache hit me in the pit of my belly. A strange longing to have that. Somebody I fit with. Someone to fill the heart beating erratically inside my chest.
Elana turned her ancient eyes and met mine. The smile on her face widened so much the wrinkles on her face almost made her light-hazel eyes disappear. She was moving toward me at the same time I was moving toward her, and it was like one of those stupid romance movies where we joined in the middle with me wrapping her in a hug and swinging her around. Except, romance was the last thing that joined us.
Love, however, did. Love for music. Love for each other.
“Cormac!” She squeezed me so tightly I was afraid those skinny, ancient arms of hers would break off.
“Merry Christmas!” I told her.
“The acoustic version of ‘Ghost’ you played live in Paris was incredibly moving!” she said with a smile as she stepped out of my arms and patted my face, taking me in. “You look exhausted.”
Not only had she known where I was, but she’d also listened to the slower version of my song, registering the changes in it. I was surprised when I shouldn’t have been. Just like I shouldn’t have been surprised that she saw the fatigue written over my skin.
“Just got back to the States yesterday. It’ll wear off,” I told her.
She turned to Cassidy and Marco who’d trailed into the store after me. She hugged Cass and winked at Marco, which caused him to cough and move away to the aisle of vinyl records and CDs that took up the bulk of the space on the main floor of the store.
The store’s normal smell of vinyl and instrument oil was covered tonight by the smell of spiced cider and holiday cookies. The treats completely covered the top of a cheerily decorated table blocking the staircase to the practice rooms and storage space. I’d spent years of my life going up and down those steps with instruments and boxes in hand. Elana had been my teacher, my employer, and my friend. The store had been my second home. Sometimes, it had felt like my real one.
“How’s the baby?” Elana asked, squinting at the enormous, puffy jacket hiding any sign of Cass’s baby tummy.
“Moving a lot, just like you said.”
“A boy. I know it’s a boy.” Elana grinned.
The couple at the counter came forward, greeting Cassidy before wishing Elana Merry Christmas and heading out into the snow that had started to fall again.
“You just missedCariand my great grandbaby,” Elana said.
I laughed. “Isn’t that the way it’s always been?”
Because it was true. I’d always been off to music camp in the summers when Elana’s granddaughter had come up to spend weeks at a time with her. It was as if the universe had decided the two of us could never be in the same space at the same time. For many years, I’d doubted the existence of the girl at all while simultaneously being jealous that she got to call Elana hers.
“Are your parents home?” Elana asked.
I nodded, and Cass winced.
Elana laughed. “You should have told them.”
“They would have rushed home.”
She was right. Cassidy had kept the secret from all of us because she’d known the truth. Mom would have given up her position in Ireland and come running home to save Cass from something she didn’t need saving from.
