That one word pushed me over the edge. It was all too much. Home and hope and destiny twined with the love flowing through me. My heart seized up. Something of what I felt must have reflected on my face even as I tried to pull the curtain down on my emotions, because Maribelle changed the subject.
“The camellias were some of the first specimens Nash’s parents brought back to the farm after their honeymoon. Most camellias don’t have a noticeable scent, but they’d found a family in the foothills above Los Angeles who purposefully bred these with the richer, spicier tones. There are also some on the farm that smell like jasmine, and others that are quite lemony, which, of course, is our signature scent.”
While she talked of flowers, I made my coffee, snatched a biscuit from the bowl on the counter, and then sat with her at the kitchen table.
“He told me about his parents,” I said, my voice rough and clogged with all my feelings from the morning as well as the thought of Nash losing them at so young of an age.
“Both such awful tragedies. Unfortunately, it took the outgoing, loving boy I knew and changed him into a quiet, fierce teen who never forgave himself or us for not being able to save them.”
“He couldn’t save his mother, so he saves the world instead,” I said.
“But who will save him?” she asked.
I didn’t know if I could do what she asked. Not if he didn’t want to be saved. Not if he wanted to take the loss from his childhood and the loss of Darren and wrap them all in guilt and a penance he’d pay for the rest of his life. But Nash had also been different in the last twenty-four hours. Lighter. With joy shining through the cracks.
So maybe there really was hope.
Maribelle patted my hand as she got up. “I’m off to meet with Greta. She’s in charge of the tours on the estate. Just so you know, we open the house and grounds to the public every weekend, and there will be people in and out starting tomorrow, which means you and Nash might need to keep those swoony kisses out of the hallways.”
She winked and left me sitting in a mixture of emotions that were twice as big as when I’d walked down the staircase.
I needed to talk to someone, and the selection of people to choose from was slim. My sisters and I rarely discussed relationships. I had no desire to reveal any of my sexual exploits with my mother, and Mac would go apeshit if he knew. Tristan had become a good friend, but she was clearly not the choice for this mixed-up call. It left Georgie. I’d have to trust her not to spill the beans to Mac. It was unfair of me to ask her to keep a secret from her husband, but if I didn’t talk to someone, I would literally implode.
I took my coffee with me into the library. I was hours late for my normal start of the day—once again. Nash was blowing all of my structure and routine to shreds, which was laughable, considering SEALs lived for both.
Georgie answered on the first ring. “Are you okay?”
“Yes and no. I haven’t been poisoned again, if that’s what you mean.”
“I’m sort of mad I didn’t hear about it from you,” she said, but there was no reprimand in her tone. Just concern.
“Are you somewhere you can talk?” Code forIs my brother hanging on you and placing kisses around your neck?
She laughed. “Mac had an early meeting, and I still have another thirty minutes before I have to leave for Theresa’s office.”
“How’s the case coming?” I asked. Georgie and Theresa’s case regarding immigrant children’s rights had gone all the way to the Supreme Court. It was a landmark case whether or not they won, but knowing both these talented ladies, winning was a much more likely outcome.
“It’s fine, but that’s not why you called,” Georgie prodded.
“I slept with Nash,” I said in a rush to get it out.
Silence and then Georgie’s light, musical laugh echoed through the phone, and just the fact that she was laughing about it loosened the weight in my chest.
“Was this before or after the moody looks he was giving you at the wedding?” she asked.
I tugged at my shirt, straightening it when it was in no need of straightening. “Both.”
“And now you’re holed up with him somewhere free to have all the sex you want,” she said.
“You act like there’s no one around. There’s actually a lot of people around all day long,” I said, thinking not only of his family but the help who seemed to be around the house and the property at all hours.
“Day isn’t night,” she said. “And get to the part where you tell me why this is a problem.”
“Because it’sNash!”
“Hmm. Sexy Navy SEAL full of honor and respect for others. Recipient of a Silver Star. You’re right, what a loser. Why are you lowering yourself to that level?” she spoke, teasing to get her point across.
“Former womanizer and panty-stealer who feels an inordinate amount of obligation to the wife and daughter of his former teammate.”
