“Why?” Tristan asked.
I shrugged. “Does it really matter why?”
“Yes, it matters. It’s going to matter even more when they put you in front of the review board.” It was Dani talking. Dani, who knew the ins and outs of the military because she’d grown up in a military family.
Tristan just stared at me, tears welling up in her eyes before she brushed at them, got up, and continued shoving things in the already bulging bag. “He’d be so mad at you,” she said so quietly it was hardly a whisper, and my heart about jumped from my chest because I’d made her cry several times in the last two days. She was right. Darren would have skinned me alive for so many reasons, but losing my cool with Dainty was one of the biggest ones.
“You need to get yourself together, Nash. Before it’s too late,” Tristan said, zipping the bag, heading toward the stairs.
“Me? I need to get myself together?” I said, moving two steps in her direction. She was the last one to talk. She didn’t sleep, barely ate, and was functioning only enough to take care of Hannah. She was a walking zombie without emotion unless she was looking at her little girl.
Dani jumped off the counter and stepped in between us. “Whoa. Just stop before one of you says something you’ll regret. Tristan, I got this. I’ll stay and take care of Molly. Nash can go deal with the consequences of his dumbass male ego.”
Silence settled down over all of us. Guilt hit me like a thousand-ton brick because I couldn’t help Tristan with either of her problems. I couldn’t go with her to New York or take care of Molly. I had to drag my fucked-up ass back to Virginia Beach, see the shrink, and hope to God I hadn’t screwed up my Navy career beyond repair.
Dani
FINALLY // BEAUTIFUL STRANGER
“Your eyes, so crystal green
Sour apple baby, but you taste so sweet.”
Performed by Halsey
Written by Frangipane / Kurstin
Molly ran up and down thebeach, barking at the waves, tongue lolling out the side of her mouth. She had more energy than I could even fathom, but she was sweet and mostly well-mannered. She begged for food and sat in your lap, but that was the worst of it.
We’d never really had a dog growing up. I wasn’t sure why, when I thought about it. Even with Dad in the Navy, we’d stayed at the house outside Wilmington. Mom and Dad had wanted us to have a stable home life in one location. It had certainly made it harder on their marriage. And maybe, at the end of the day, that was why we hadn’t had a pet. Four kids had been enough to keep Mom’s hands full.
Molly finally found and brought back the stick I’d thrown, shaking her fur, and I grimaced as I was coated with water and sand. She barked, wagging her tail with such ferocity I thought she might take off in the air. I smiled and threw the stick once more.
When I’d returned to the beach house the day after Tristan left and Nash took off for Little Creek, the dog had acted like she’d been left alone for a lifetime, whining at the basement door and at the baby’s high chair. It was as if she’d sensed a change in the air. The tension between Nash and Tristan had never gone away before she’d left.
It was different than the tension I felt whenever I was in the same room with him. Theirs had been the stress of unspoken words; mine was all desire. As if something inside me ached to be closer to him. But I wasn’t going to make a fool of myself. Not only because Mac would kill us both, but because Nash knew exactly how to charm a woman’s panties off. I didn’t plan on being one of his long list, regardless of how good he looked shirtless.
The memory of him in the armchair with Hannah on his bare chest was seared into my brain. The harsh red scar stretching from the base of his neck and trailing along his collarbone, blending in with the swirling black and colored ink that twisted over his skin—only the SEAL Trident obvious, the rest a mix of objects and words that I didn’t know how to read. The tattoos and scars were layered over defined muscles, cuts you rarely saw except in bodybuilders.
That image had been following me into my dreams over the last two weeks. It was a welcome relief to my nightmares but still had me waking with a body shaking. Desire and need coursing through me instead of fear.
The physical reaction I had to Nash made me feel like I was fifteen all over again with a crush on Bee’s boyfriend, Zane, the senior basketball hero who everyone at the school adored. Tall, lean, dark, curly hair with a great smile. He’d always been nice to me, even when I was exactly the awkward teen Bee had accused me of being.
That Dani—the insecure Dani who wasn’t sure she’d ever be anything more than a joke—had glowed like a sunflower turning toward the sun when Zane had talked to her, flirting a little and making Bee frown. They weren’t moments I was proud of when I thought back on them. You don’t flirt with your sister’s boyfriend. But I hadn’t built up a wall against Bee then, and we had often struck out at each other. Sisters who loved each other but also didn’t know how to get along.
Having the same physical reactions to Nash as I’d once had in my childhood to another off-limits male didn’t exactly make me want to be in the same room with him. They weren’t feelings I wanted to succumb to, especially when the man was fighting his own set of demons.
I finished the jog on the beach, which had replaced my time at the gym, and returned to the house determined to do something more than dwell on my past and a man I shouldn’t want.
???
I had the music blaring as I grated the last bit of cheese to put on top of the pan of enchiladas I’d made, following Mom’s recipe. I wanted to freeze a few things for Tristan so, when she got home, she wouldn’t have to worry about dinners for a while. Even though I royally sucked at cooking, Mom had promised this would be simple, and it had been. Messy, but simple.
I was still in my running gear. Yoga pants, sports bra, and a tank that barely covered it, but it had been pointless to change. Who was going to see me?
I was belting out Selena’s “Boyfriend” as I turned around to put the block of cheese back in the fridge and screamed at the body that stood leaning in the archway.
“Holy shit,” I said, resting my hand on my heart. “What the hell, Nash?”
