Mistake number two—because I’d said his name. Her eyes had welled up with tears as she’d pulled her arm from me. She’d sat on the step and put her head in her hands. “What am I doing?” she’d mumbled.
“Going out. Having a drink. Letting your hair down.”
She did have her hair down, and she was wearing makeup and had clothes on without holes. She’d looked almost like the Tristan from before we’d lost Darren. Except for the dark shadows that still existed below her eyes. I wasn’t sure those would ever go away.
“I…I don’t know how to do any of that anymore,” she’d said.
“He’d want you to,” I’d said quietly.
She hadn’t responded. Referring to him was all but forbidden, and now, I’d done it twice in the same conversation. When she didn’t respond, I pushed.
“Go. Hang with Dani. Let yourself forget for a few hours.”
Which was mistake number three. But instead of shouting that she’d never forget, she’d straightened her back and stood. She’d grabbed her purse from the hook by the door before turning back to me.
“Don’t forget the spaghetti.”
Then the door had shut with a bang behind her.
I hoped she was drinking herself into forgetfulness the way I did, but I knew she wouldn’t. She’d taken the SUV, and she’d never drink and drive. She hadn’t let any of the team get behind the wheel for as long as I’d known her. I’d be surprised if she let herself even have one drink.
I sank into the armchair with Molly curled up next to me and Hannah resting her head on my chest. It was another visual I was sure no one who knew me would expect. Nasty with a kid and a dog, reading from a stack of books I almost knew by heart because I’d read them—or heard Tristan read them—too many times to count.
The baby fell asleep, and I just sat there, watching her little chest go up and down, her frog security blanket clutched tight in her arms. I didn’t have enough energy to get up and put her in her crib in Tristan’s room. I didn’t want to disturb the dog or walk back up the stairs. I just wanted to sit and take in the smell of the baby shampoo that clung to everything, even the stupid mutt.
I laid my head back against the cushion of the armchair and stared at the ceiling. The crown molding along the edges reminded me of the crown molding in my bedroom growing up. That ceiling seemed miles away, just like the memories of a warm arm holding me and a gentle voice reading to me were. Mom. I let my eyes close, and I let the memories of her follow me into my dreams.
???
There was something about having survived everything I’d been through?the missions and the trainings?which meant a part of my brain and my body rarely shut off unless I knew one of my brothers was watching my back. So, the fact I was out hard enough for Tristan to pull Hannah from my grasp without me having heard her come in made my entire body tighten reflexively. Brain and senses on alert to danger before I realized who it was. Tristan looked the same as when she’d left the house, as if hours hadn’t passed. She flinched as if I was going to attack her.
“Sorry,” I said in a hushed tone. Whether it was for falling asleep with the baby or for scaring her with a look, I wasn’t sure.
She gave me a weak smile in response, and my heart unclenched a little. Sometimes I thought she’d forgotten how to smile. As soon as she walked toward the stairs, my heart tightened right back up because behind her stood Dani.
Her tall, lean body was encased in a pair of jeans that accented every delightful curve. The spiked heels she had on made her legs seem even longer than usual. The top she wore barely covered anything. Sparkling, shimmering, tantalizing me with softly tinted skin peeking out everywhere. When my gaze finally made it back up to her face, she was smiling at me. A sardonic smile that was all Dani. She was done up in her normal way with makeup accenting those deep-blue eyes and her dark hair twisted up into some kind of hairdo that spoke of the forties and yet the twenty-first century all at the same time. Only her outfit was different than her norm. It was more casual than anything I’d seen her in—except the time I’d seen her in her bathing suit and almost lost it like a pubescent teen.
Her blue eyes repeated my slow gaze, taking me in from head to toe and back again, and damn if that didn’t cause my body to go on high alert in a different way, a way that made it difficult to move. As her appraisal stalled on my chest, covered in tattoos and scars, I realized I’d never put a T-shirt back on. My skin was on display, revealing my secrets to her. The marks on my body spoke more than I ever did of my past or my future.
I sat up, running a hand over the rough stubble on my face and then up through my hair.
“You always make yourself this comfortable in someone else’s home?” Dani finally spoke, and even her voice cut through my thick skin, layering itself over my veins and bringing them to life.
I stood and stretched, and she watched me. She didn’t look away or duck her eyes in embarrassment when I met her gaze like some people would if you caught them staring. Not Dani. She just returned the stare.
“You don’t seem to mind,” I said, lifting an eyebrow.
“Don’t let it go to your head, Otter. I’ve had a few drinks; my alcohol goggles would probably take in a Blobfish if it were here,” she sassed back, using the cute and cuddly sea creature nickname that she’d used since we first met as a teasing contradiction of what I really was. All SEAL. All Nasty.
She dropped down onto the couch, where she proceeded to unstrap her heels. I watched, wondering what she’d do if I took over the job for her before kissing the graceful curve of each arch.
I shook myself out of my thoughts and moved farther away, going to the door to the basement stairs where I’d left my duffel. I took out a T-shirt and pulled it on. When I turned back, Dani had picked up one of the books I’d been reading to Hannah and was looking through the pages.
“I didn’t know you were coming back with Tristan,” I told her.
“So, the naked chest thing was for her benefit?”
God, no, but I couldn’t help a tease. “Why? Would it bother you?”
